Friday, April 21, 2017

The Vacation Story: Notes from Bhutan : Part A


Everything makes sense only when you see it as a whole, and not in its fragmented parts! The word is "Holistic"! Therefore there are three parts to my vacation story:

A. The Before

B. The Vacation


C. The After

A few points :

1. I am writing after a 2 year gap! Something definitely happened on this trip that has broken the writer's block. Many thanks to many people- Each person I have met has contributed to something that is happening now.

2. Special thanks for the photos to The-one-who-must-not-be-named! My photographer friend loves surprises!

3. I have learnt and realised that I am a little bit of everybody. There's a me in everyone I have met, I have spoken to, loved and hated. Therefore when I describe people in my blog in positive or negative tones, it's something in their personalities that I had at some point in the past or I want to have in the future and therefore I notice those traits and choose to comment on them. There's a saying "Your perception of me is a reflection of you." 

4. Legally speaking, I can put a footnote on every statement of this blog which opposes everything I have said. That's the duality of life. The Yin and the Yang! ( For more of such perspective altering statements, read Change your Thoughts, Change your Life

5. At the end of every post, I have defined certain terms the way I meant to use them. (*n) and in between I have added concepts I have learnt on this journey.

6. Why am I trying so hard to be politically correct? 

A. The Before: Part I

There is a reason why I travel to places I travel to. My Landmark Forum trained brain goes 'ch ch....Reason? Stories?' 

Well! But I do everything for a REASON!

Concept: There is a calling!

Year 2016: 

I started my Secretarial practice in Goa. This was one decision I was running away from since 10 years. 
I was expected to start practice after completing law studies , I didn't. 
I was expected to start practice after completing CS! - I didn't. 
Instead I took up a job in Bangalore which was deeply traumatic. The horror of that experience pushed me to seek comfort in the tried and tested work profile - of practice! ( I have a lineage of law practitioners. Practicing law is considered the safest option to lead a happy life- I choose to differ on that opinion though.) 

I was too happy that the pollution of the city of Bangalore and the poison of over-ambitious retards (*1) wasn't choking me. I like the pace in Goa. People don't run around like their arses are on fire (*2) . Most Goans treat each other with sweet respect and love. Tempers do flare occasionally, but most folks know to calm down after a beer or a feni or whatever thing that makes them happy at the end of the day! 

Life is good .

But then, as work picked up, calls increased, work timings extended!

My simple plan was:

Work 9 to 5, come home, read a good book, try to write and go to sleep. 


Watch a good film & go to sleep, 


Go cycling/ clubbing/ do other million activities Goa offers and go to sleep (in peace). 

But modern life isn't as simple! The arse on fire mentality does flow through the system once in a while and I did come across people who themselves are stressed and love to stress the hell out of others. Women, I realised are the stress giving kinds ( That includes me. I am not pointing fingers without taking a responsibility :). I haven't come across a man who got on to my nerves. 

"It's because You are an attractive woman!" 

Laughed my Senior/ Mentor, Vinay. 


But 8 months into practice and I still hadn't read a book. I don't remember which was the last film I watched. The only thing I remember doing often was to hit Mojo or any other pub in Panaji with my bestie Darshan and drink (sometimes dance like a demented soul to the horror of other guests)  and take off the frustration! 

Add to this, our Indian social pressures. No! I am not exactly tormented by my parents to get married AGAIN! But then, there's always a statement passed here and there about how 'Intelligent & smart' some woman has been by 'choosing' to get married! 
I don't understand what is the connection between intelligence and marriage!

The problem is, my friends are getting married.  and some others are having kids or bringing up kids. ( This has the peer pressure effect. Say as you may like statements as "Why do you have to care about them" , it is a fact ( true to me) that the overall energy, intellect ( or the lack of it!), frustrations, happiness of the populace floats in the air and affects me! 

Trust me, single women like myself feel ostracized by this system! I have stopped hanging around with couples or groups of friends which have couples in it. My single female friends have told me they feel the same as I. Some of them have stopped socializing altogether. Not just them, but even their parents don't step out of the house as people keep asking , "When is she getting married?" "Why isn't she getting married?" etc etc.

I never faced this in Bangalore!

I often see Young married girls speak and behave in a strangely mature, middle-aged- kind of fashion! 
I don't find common topics for discussions! If I check out a hot guy around the corner I get reactions like:
 "Shii. Please ya, stop it!" (*3) or  
"Don't behave as if you are desperate aa!"
One woman, my age, even said, " Please behave your age!" 

Hello! Unless I choose to be an ascetic I will be checking out men, or whatever that I want to check out even on my death bed.
And so will you- Secretly!

Concept: The longer you invest yourself in a single activity or location, higher your expectations become, and depending on what you have invested yourself into, you become either  more impatient ,agitated and unhappy OR you become calm, patient, and happy! The choice is yours!

Bhutan was first discussed in 2015! Then again in 2016 amongst my usual group of friends. I wasn't  keen on doing this trip with any couples, but many of my friends  are hitched and all of us , girls and boys are quite adventurous so we discussed cycling in Bhutan, Or trekking in Bhutan etc. Based on the excitement I even bought a sexy bike! But come December 2016 and there still weren't any sure shot Yes's!

That was it!

31st December 2016: 

At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India awoke to life and freedom! 
India welcomed the New year with so much noise that the old who are heart patients struggling to keep alive pop out with the 'dada bombs', the infants realise they have entered 'hell' and not earth and the animals and birds run so fast for cover in so many directions they hit and die a terrible death! But why do we care? We are having our Tryst with the Destiny at every New Year, every political rally, Chaturthi, or Diwali! Why do we care about noise pollution when we have bigger issues to handle such as 'How to ban certain food items which form staple diet of a few communities'. After all, we are a secular country! 

Amidst all the noise , messages popping and phones ringing and my dogs shivering and hiding under me for cover, I had made a decision...

I am going to Bhutan- Solo! 

( To be continued....Part 2) 

*1: Over-ambitious retards are those people who aren't able to handle their own expectations of themselves and who are obviously frustrated and stressed the whole time! They are those who blame, curse, mistreat others and spread negativity at a workplace like it's their life's sole objective!

*2: For more on Arse-on-Fire: Visit Mumbai Local station!

*3: Shii is an equivalent of "Yuck" in Konkani.


  1. Good start.. Direct. To the point. No bullshit, no sugar coating. Reality as it should be taken - "On the rocks"

  2. Wowww... Amazing... Waiting for Ur part 2

  3. Hey Thanks for the encouraging words everyone!! You've made my day! :-)


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