She sat watching herself in the mirror- expressionless!
kajal lining her beautiful eyes, a little glitter on her lips, a bindi on her forehead, long straight hair, arched eyebrows and a straight nose, a healthy skin and a healthy body, she matched every and any marriage proposal's claim!
The 10th or so boy and his family were seated in the hall. The snacks and the tea had been served.
She wasn't nervous anymore, she had no hopes, no enthusiasm.....she almost knew what she was meeting.
She wished she could skip the family meeting sessions and directly could meet the guy and talk to him...one on one!
Her mother came to her, sat down in front of her, she held her hand, almost pleading, begging, " Barkha, beta , the guy is a MBA from a US university, his family is well educated, they are very nice people. He's very handsome.....they...."
" I know all that mamma!"
" Beta please.........please this time, have some patience beta!"
She stood up without a word and went out like she was some sacrificial goat! Her mother looked after her, and silently prayed!
She gave a faint smile to everyone watching her with admiration.....she kept her gaze low for a while and then looked up straight at the guy.....he was looking at her first, but when she looked at him so suddenly and unexpectedly, he looked down, almost shyly. She kept her gaze still on him, after a while he looked up again , in expectation that she was looking somewhere else, but when he found her still looking at him, he started looking around at other people and where they were looking. Barkha's mother nudged her, and she lowered her sight again!
They were both seated in their garden.
She was looking down, the boy was glad about that- her gaze had been scary!
"So.... ..well! Let me start the conversation.... I am Nikhil and I just came down 15 days back from the US because my mother said, it was time for me to you know, settle down.....and then they showed me your photograph and..........( he smiled to himself) ...you look even more beautiful in person Barkha......"
Her expression did not change........he thought for a while that she was dumb and deaf!"
" Barkha.......are you listening?"
She was still looking down. "Yes!"
" Then....why are you looking down?"
She looked up, again that same sharp look and Nikhil almost regretted his last sentence.
" Because you cannot handle me looking straight in your eyes, what will you do with me in your bed?"
"Excuse me?"
" Nikhil......I really don't care about your MBA from US or anywhere, i don't care how handsome you are and how good your family is......all I care about is.....let's see, to start with- Whether you are man enough for me to be a woman to? Or else, what's the whole point?"
" And you don't think I am man enough? Why? You want some dara singh, some warrior? Which century are you in?"
"That's exactly what I want to ask you. What century are you in? Just getting big degrees don't make you any modern if what you expect out of a woman is the same old shit that our society has been expecting from us all this while."
" Girls like you should go for a love marriage!"
" I know....unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a man smart, intelligent and self confidant enough to have me as his wife. You all like the way I look, you see in me a good wife who can cook, bear your children and look after them, but when I open my mouth to speak my mind, you don't like it because it is not my job.......isn't it?"
Now, he kept looking at her, not angry, not shy, not scared but as if he was remembering something, as if some lost pieces were falling back in place.
" You all are so scared, so tied by tradition and culture, you have forgotten to be spontaneous and instinctive and likeable! You now, I can't tell you apart from the other boys I've met. Because you don't speak your mind......you say the things you are expected to say, the same old sentences, same reactions, same look......oh my god! Were you all made in some sort of a factory? Same model , just different look, different professions and families and pay checks, but so god damn slavish!"
He was thoughtful!
She stopped, she had done the same thing ones again.......she could not understand why she tried to give this knowledge to these fools....they would never get it! What a waste of energy, she thought.
" Are you finished talking?"
" Yes....Now you just do what you have to do, reject me. i don't care! I rather stay single then spend a lifetime with a factory product. i want a man- with a soul, not a mechanic!"
He smiled and this time she was shocked and surprised.
" What are you smiling at?"
" Barkha.....I totally agree with you......... "
She threw back her hands in desperation.
" Yes.....I really do.... maybe we are not meant for each other , but I do know someone who is. Because even he has been searching for someone just like you."
He opened his wallet and took out his card, jotted down a number and an e-mail id and handed it over to her.
" Joe Torres, he's my boss. The owner of the company I work for. He was also my classmate for the MBA . I know him very well, he's a very nice person , single and still waiting for that one girl who's out of this world. I don't think a girl like you would believe in religions or in nationalities. For a girl like you, probably a non Indian is the best choice!"
She looked at the card in her hands for a while, thinking, quiet!
"For a girl like you, a non Indian is the best choice!"- his words rang in her ears for a while....
" Thank you Nikhil, thanks a lot for guiding me in your own way. But I don't think you know me fully to say a thing like that to me. Yes I've different ideas, that normally an Indian boy would find difficult to digest but I think, if god has created a girl like me in India, there must be a boy to suit me somewhere in India. Not that I am strong on nationalities or religions.....it's just that......I don't know Nikhil...."
She got up and turned to go back to her room......
"Barkha..."
She turned.
He went to her and held her hands,
" Confused aren't you?"
She did not answer.
" Do you know what you are doing? You are finding a fault in everything that is offered to you. Even if you do find a guy who comes the closest to your specifications, you will still reject him on some silly grounds. Open up Barkha.......the world is not black and white the way they tell us......there is no perfect man........this world is full of gray shades......you have your weaknesses and so do i have mine........But what is important is understanding, some maturity........Don't just use your brain anyway you can because god gave you that much sense, why don't you use it for better purposes. Come with me to the US, its a sea of opportunity. You are not the first girl I am meeting, I have been in a live in relationship with an American woman before. Take this chance with me Barkha, I know for sure, you aren't as difficult as you show yourself to be!"
She looked in his eyes, and he looked straight in hers- it was a match point!
" And of course even I don't want a boring something in my bed!"
They both smiled, for the first time, Barkha smiled shyly.....this man had made her feel shy!!
1 year later , they were married. The 1st time they had met, was the only time Barkha was most difficult...yes, she was highly carrier oriented and smart and vocal about her feelings, but so are many woman now a days. She just hadn't met a man who would accept her ideas, she wasn't a rebel, she simply thought so being in the company of wrong people.
When they went to the US, Barkha asked Nikhil one day, " You know Nikhil, I really want to meet this Joe Torres guy of yours and see how much similar to me he is!"
He laughed, " There is no Joe Torres."
