U N I ( Part 3)

Juhi....


Don't get her wrong because she is happy about her Boss's broken leg!
And she openly bitched about his bad habits....

Juhi is ....well! She is not anything at all like Priyanks Chopra or any other Bollywood heroine.
Juhi is a bit like Meg Ryan actually! She is cute.
She is hard working, very sincere, frank .....and above all she has childlike innocence!
She is a bit short by height, she has short straight shiny hair - just above shoulders and she never wears jeans to work!

Surprised huh? Looking at her attitude she fits more to be in western clothes, but no....she wears well fitting , cotton or silk chudidaars - no dupattas! Her hair is tied in a pony, wears oxidized jewellery - long earrings, rings, and a plain snake chain without a pendant! shoes?? Flats! By the way she has well maintained pedicured feet....And yeah...Dr.Krupal did notice them...Of course he did!

Early morning, the next day. to be exact : 5 am!
Juhi received a text message , " Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Our date time and venue: 8 pm saturday at Fuga. I can come to pick you up. sms me your address!"

Juhi checked the message at 7.30 when she woke up. " Not ‘please sms me your address’........Just ‘sms me’- order...huh?"

It was a Friday. She sms'd the address promptly.

Fuga is quite a well known Pub cum Disc in Bangalore.
Dr. Krupal was at her doorstep in Kormangala 1st Block at sharp 8pm.
He was pleasantly surprised to see this Indian tigress in a slim fit black jeans and a silver off shoulder top.

" Don't you want to know why Fuga?" Krupal asked her in the car. His attitude and tone was quite sober today, but her attitude was the same.
" To get me drunk and get me into bed! What else?" She snapped back.

He suddenly became a bit conscious, as if someone had said something bad about his character.
“I’m sorry!” He said in a low tone.
She did not say anything. She sat there with crossed hands.

"I have never behaved so shamelessly with anybody before.....maybe it is something about you that made me behave like that!"

She turned to look at him, " You are actually blaming me for the way you behaved? Didn't anyone teach you to take any responsibility in life?"

" Of course I take responsibility. All my patients are my responsibility...including your boss!"
" You don't have to remind me that all the time."

They entered the pub and took a seat. When the waiter approaced them, Krupal turned to her, " I suppose you wont have drinks, mocktails perhaps?"
" Of course I will have drinks! Especially because you are paying......lets start with whatever is the costliest on the menu.....How about Long Island Ice Tea...I'll have that!"

Drinks in Bengaluru are costly, and drinks in discs especially are Damn costly!

The waiter started jotting down the order......Juhi pushed the menu to Krupal pointing at the price of her cocktail.....his eyes popped out... " This is just the 1st drink! You have no idea about my capacity!"

" And what can I get for you sir?" The waiter asked Krupal.
" Nothing for me...I don't drink!"
" Of course you do! Get him the same cocktail!" Juhi teased.
" I have to drive back home. I don't drink and drive. Responsible behaviour you know?"
"Really? Okay! But still make that 2, I'll have both of them."

Krupal felt Rs.1000 credited from his pocket in the 1st 5 minutes of their date!
Not a very pleasant feeling.

As the music caught on and the night progressed, Krupal felt his pockets going lighter with every drink going down Juhi's throat!

" Stop! That's enough!" He finally announced when she could barely stand.
" What do you think? Only you can test others patience? You think being a man you can outsmart us women? You are wrong Dr. Krupal!"
" Yes Tanker Lady! I am wrong! Now can you just put on your jacket, I need to get you home ....safely!"
" Hey Doc! What do you think......I had that coffee with you to save my fucking job? If I really did not want to come with you, I wouldnt have come. You think I love my job so much and I am so damn scared of my boss that I gave you my cell number and my address and I came here to get drunk with a smart ass doc like youself??"

Krupal took her purse and he put her jacket on her shoulders. He caught her hand and started walking towards the exit. Just when they stepped out , she turned to face him and put her hands around his neck.
" Do you really know how difficult it is in India to find smart confidant guys like  you?"
" Do you know it is even more difficult to find smart intelligent and beautiful girls like you for a company? Thank you Madam for a wonderful company and gotta tell you...you dance really well!" He said and took her hands in his and walked her to his car.
" Dr. Krupal.....why are you acting like a gentleman? It doesn't go on your personality! Be naughty...that makes you look sexy!"
" You are drunk Juhi...."
" Yes....And I want you to kiss me now."
" I don't kiss girls when they are drunk..."
" Why didn't you tell me this before I started drinking?"
" You never told me your intentions..."
" Okay....well! You don't kiss me....but I'm allowed to kiss you...." and she leaned in to kiss him and he moved back.
" What now?" She asked irritated.
" I've a girl friend. We are planning to get married in 8 months time."
She stood still for a while, not sure what to do next. " drop me home please."

They quietly got into the car and he drove her home.

( To be continued........)

U N I ( Part 2)

Location: Hospital Cafetaria

Krupal ordered for 2 coffees as they sat down in a dirty corner.

" There's a CCD across the street, you could have taken me out for a coffee there!"
Krupal looked around , " Why? What's wrong with this place?"
"Don't you have functional eyes and nose? Don't you see and smell?"
" I find it to be fine!"
" I find it dirty, unclean, unkept!"
" We could appoint you as some manager to look after the cleanliness of the hospital.... what's your qualification between?"
" I am a MBA..."
" Aha! Perfect!"
" In Finance!" She finished rolling her eyes, " What's up with you?"
He looked down at himself and looked back at her, " Guess...Nothing!"
She couldn't believe him....He was getting on to her nerves......he had blackmailed her, bossed over her and now he was grossing her out! And she had to put up with him just because her job was on the line,the golden opportunity was on the line.....the opportunity that she had been waiting for the past 1 year......She could not let that go, no.....no matter what happens, she wouldn't let that slip off from her hands... she kept telling herself these sentences repeatedly...he was enjoying looking at her....the coffees came!

He picked up his glass and sipped it, she did not move.

" Alright...what do you want from me?" She spoke out.
" I can't believe you are asking me this question after my last response!"
" What would you take to keep your fucking mouth shut?" She was angry but she kept her voice low.
" A date with you."
" Where? When? Just one date ...and we are done with this....okay?"
" One date and we are done with it!"
She picked up her coffee and sipped it.
" It's better than the one's in CCD, isn't it?" he asked.
" I am not going to a shady place for our date!"
" Where do you want to go?"
" Hmmm....." and before she could answer,
" No! I will decide that!" He had spoken again! Dominated again!
She opened her mouth to say something...
" I will decide...." He stressed his words...
" Fine!" She stressed hers!

They finished their coffee in silence. She was glad he did not say anything else, but she was extremely irritated and uncomfortable with his stare that was stuck on her the whole time.

As I've already mentioned in my comment, Krupal looks a bit like Virat Kohli....smart.....and more than his looks, its really that attitude of his that makes him.....what can I say... Impressive!!

and Juhi..... I can tell you what she looks like only if someone asks for it ;-)

She shot up the instant she finished her coffee.
" Your number ma'am!"
She instantly told it to him...no hassles, no more questions!
" I'll call you!" He said.
" Of course!" She replied with a fake smile.
She walked out angrily, like a tigress...like how models walk on international ramps, angry, sexy, and undoubtedly unmissable!

( To be continued......)

U N I ( Part 1)

They stood in the empty hall......looking around and then turned to look at each other.
" My o My! Finally....we are here!" She said breaking the silence.
They knew each other only for a month- no more, no less! This was one of those crazy silly impulsive decisions of his that he rarely ever took!

The work men were bringing in their stuff......not much of it though. They had no furniture! Just bags.... mostly full of clothes, the rest of the things had to be bought.

Krupal paid off the workmen and they left.

Juhi was still wide eyed, breathing fast and looking around........basically she looked very unstable, unsure......Krupal looked at her, " It's okay now...sit down!"

"We are actually going to start living in together!! Do you realize what that can be like? What if my parents find out? I've an uncle staying in Bengaluru you know? I mean...talking about it.......I always gave this a thought, so did all my girl friends....but all of them chose marriage...and I chose this! That too with a guy I don't even love......"
She stopped walking around and came and sat near him.

He did not have any less of issues on his mind.

All that they had been doing since they met 1 month back wasn't any less crazy.....but by far...this was too much!

Why did they do it?

Juhi was a MBA from a prestigious university...

And he was a doctor working for one of the top hospitals in Bengaluru!

They had everything they needed.....a good paying job, even lovers......

They met through a common friend, the day the common friend met with an accident, the common friend was his classmate in school and now her boss..

The only thing missing in their "Perfect Lives" was a bit of spice!

Their 1st date was in his consultancy, which had started off with him explaining how many cracks her boss has in his leg.

" How many months will he have to be on bed then?"

" 1 month for sure...it’s the leg so he better not put too much pressure!"

" Ohh.....that means I will have to be in charge of everything then!" She half said it to herself.

His phone rang and he turned his back on her,

She happily punched her fist in the air. Finally she would get the opportunity to showcase her capabilities.....Yuhuuu...another punch in the air....

" You seem very happy with the news!" He had finished his call!

" Ummm......." She tried to think quickly of an explanation but she knew her punches had very well given her away......so she smiled, " I know its mean of me to be happy about my Boss's broken leg , but I've been working so hard for the past 1 year to get an opportunity to really showcase my talent and if not his broken leg then I don't know what else would give me that opportunity!"

" Were you in any case responsible for breaking his leg?" He asked suspiciously and waited for her response, narrowing his eyes...

" Yes.....I prayed for it..." She replied keeping in tune with his tone,
and then," Hell No! I would never do anything like that....it was an accident!" She smiled naughtily.

He smiled back, " So is he a very difficult boss?"

" Don't ask!" She replied making a face.

" Does he still like get all sweaty and nervous when there are issues to be dealt with?"

" Totally! And I hate that! It's so like eww to see someone all sweaty in an air conditioned room!" She said all that and then she thought for a second, " Do you already know my boss by any chance?"

" He was my best buddy in school! Bench mates!"


She shook her head in disbelief! She had never fucked up so badly with anyone before. 1st the air punch and now this.....she just did not know how to get up and get lost from his clinic and this doctor....she decided she would keep it simple..., "Alright Doc! I think I've done enough damage for myself today, more damage than my boss's broken leg. I better be going now. Hope not to meet you again, this has been so embarrassing!" She got up, picked her purse and started walking to the door.

" What's your name?"

She turned ," I rather not tell you that."

" I can find out from your boss!"

" No.....Don't!........ I'm Juhi!"

He walked to her and extended his hand, " I am Dr. Krupal! Now may I ask your company for a cup of coffee?" She looked around in a gesture to turn down the offer, " And I would suggest you not to put this offer down else all your secrets will be out of the box!"

" This is blackmail!"

" I would call it a pick up line!"

" A pick up line with no room for a negative answer??"

" Isn't that like ultra smart?"

" Yeah! I don’t believe I actually believed all this time that all docs are lame!"

" Oooooh! That hurt!"

" Target achieved......now let's go...we are even!"

And that was how it began.



( To be continued in parts........)

Politically Incorrect!

I've been wondering what new topic I want to write about.... I don't want to talk about the supposedly GOOD things today- about changing the society, questioning our outdated traditional values, about the right things to do, to say, to think........It's kind of Boring.......Hmmm...let me talk about something different......let me be politically Incorrect!

There's this poem a friend forwarded me the other day and it got me thinking...


Please Note: With this post I do not mean to encourage doping....nor am I against it!


It's each one's personal choice!
That's it!

Stoners live and stoners die,

but in d end u all get high.

so if in life u dont succeed,

fuck it all n smoke sum weed.

sex,drugs n rock n roll.

speed, weed n birth control.

life's a bitch n then u die,

so fuck it all n lets get high..

I'm sayin this poem to make a point,

life's a bitch without a joint.

weed is a plant that grows in the ground,

If god dint like it, it wouldnt be found.

so tell all Do's who don't get high

2 shut d fuck up n giv it fuckin a try

n say,

"M FLYING HIGH!"

Well!

I was taught that smoking, drinking, drugs is a bad thing to do and people who do all of that should be kept far away. It's like a taboo in the society that I live in to talk openly about topics like these. Surprisingly in my exprience of life, I found that when you meet people, all that really matters is how pure their soul is, how good they are by heart.....it doesn't really matter whether they are dopers or not because I've some awesome friends who dope and I wouldn't let go of them for whatever reason!


There was a time I thought highly about people who never drink or smoke or don't have any addictions.......but well! A person needs to have human qualities to be respected....everything else comes later.


I did argue with my doper friends to quit doping, that they are blowing up their lives and health and money.....And then suddenly I thought about my cousin brother who died in an accident a few years back...he was all of 25 or 26 I guess.......and then I thought about life, about respecting it, treating it right! Does it really matter??

Now I think, all that matters, is what makes you happy....Nothing comes with guarantees... so as long as you live, live your way, with your rules and as they say- Fuck it all if "The Right Thinking People" don't like it! To hell with them!



When you get just one shot at life,

Why not experience getting a High?

Why not spread wings and fly?

Why not love truly, get hurt and cry?

Why not take a risk sharing a secret?

Why not believe you can find your soul mate?

Why not laugh the deepest laughter?

Why not be your own Master?

Why not make a mistake once in a while?

Why not fall down , get up and have a smile?

Why not commit a small sin?

Why not get a bit naughty and mean?

When you get just one shot at life,

Get out there and add some spice!

One

There are these times when one wants to say so much, express one's views......
And the other times when one wants to keep it all in one's heart!
There is so much to say, but one just doesn't find the right words,
Or one's logic asks one - Why do you have to say it? Who cares?

Seriously, who cares what one thinks?
Who cares whether one's heart aches to see pain and suffering,
or that one's soul is pure?

That one is probably lonely,
That one needs a friend!

Who cares whether one is an intellectual or one is just a slave taking orders?
Who cares?

But surprisingly one day, one finds out that there is another one,
Who cares, who bothers about  what one thinks...
One who insists one to speak out one's mind and express the innermost feelings...
One who makes one be a better person,
One who makes life worth living and exploring!

A big Thank you to all those "One's" who care for the one's in their lives and make this life so much more beautiful to live!

The Window!

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. Next morning while they are eating their breakfast, the young woman sees through their window, her neighbors hang their washed clothes outside.

"That laundry is not very clean." She said, " She probably doesn't know how to wash clothes correctly! Perhaps she needs a better laundry soup!" Her husband looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would pass the same comments.

About one month later, the young woman was surprised to see nice bright well washed clothes on the line and she said to her husband, " Look, she has finally learnt how to wash correctly! I wonder who taught her that!"

Her husband said, " I woke up early in the morning and cleaned our windows!"

And so it is with life:

"What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism it would be better to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something else in the person we are about to judge!"

Meeting the Real Howard Roark! ( Reading the Fountainhead Part 2)

He is slender, not too tall, straight jet black hair, sharp eyes and a mocking , smirk-like smile adorns his child like face! This isn't the first time I am seeing him, he is the son of a family friend, but we've hardly ever spoken. I only heard stories of him, stories of his rebellious nature, stories of his experiments with life...................but there wasn't a word I heard from him...he was quiet, always , as if someone had punished him and he wasn't to speak until permitted!

Something about his face was highly attractive, those deep black steady eyes showed self assurance and confidence....he walked straight, easily, and at his own pace, never too fast, never too slow.

Once, I tried to strike some conversation, he looked disinterested, I did not feel offended ( surprisingly! Because if any other guy had done that, I would never turn back and look at him a 2nd time......but this guy was different. Something told me it wasn't about ego or intention.....there was more and I had to know him )and decided I rather observe this guy and study him before talking to him again.

This man is not the conventional guy you meet everyday....for matters of privacy I cannot disclose his name. people laugh at him, because he doesn't do what they expect him to do.....he's his own boss. Everybody advices him about what to do in life, I doubt he's ever asked anyone for their opinions so he never insults them but he never abides them too and then people feel insulted ! That's why he is almost in everybody's bad books!

For a while I thought, which girl would ever be interested in a guy like this?? But upon having observed him for a few days and on a few occasions, i wondered, which woman wouldn't fall for him??

When he does decide to speak, all you can ever do is shut up and listen because his stories are like none other, his experiences of life - like something you've never imagined, never heard....and it's the stuff he's done, not some cooked up stories like you hear from most other guys.......
He quickly makes friends with guys,
and the villagers and yes children too,
For some reason, he always chooses which girls he will talk to, and once he does choose, he'll take her on a ride of a lifetime....

I admire men like these in whose company i feel different, whose auras give me a sense of the possibilities of human life and strength......he might be a no one to the world today.....but he's definitely someone amusing for me! He's not someone you meet and forget, but someone you remember for a lifetime........Whenever I sit down to write of a central, male character, its his face I see!

When I first decided to start blogging, my first blog was based on him. But I never could complete it, because I could never understand him fully. When I read The Fountainhead, just a few paragraphs about Howard Roark and the puzzle pieces fell into its place, it was alomost like finding the key to knowing this guy ...

Reading the fountainhead from that point onwards became much more interesting, because I could relate to it. I have met the "Peter Keating" types too, not one, but several of them.....they never make you feel good! Even if you are happy with them at a particular point, you can never trust them, because they are so scared of something.......they are always over burdened with finding responsibility and stability in life! I always look down upon these 2 things- Responsibility and Stability...because they spoil the essence of life, they kill the adventure in a man and make him nothing but a robot!

Fountainhead hasn't been an eye opener, in fact it is more like coming face to face with many emotions within me, which I always tried to hide, which I thought were bad...............Fountainhead only made me more comfortable with myself and my ideas!

Dog Day Afternoon! (1975)

Oh I thought I would just "Buzz" about it in a few sentences, or put it as my facebook status, but this film needs to be spoken about.....This film needs to be watched!

I read about this film while going through some film related websites, and magazines and books. All of them speak highly about it.

I have never watched anything like this film before- its different!

1: It is based on a true life incident of an armed bank robbery gone terribly bad!

2: You cannot believe the robbers!! They are complete idiots, jokers both of them- and to think of it, they are real human beings who actually behaved the way they did that day when they were robbing a bank! And they thought they'll get away with it!

3: The series of events that unfold are ridiculous!

4. And Oh Al Pacino! Did I tell you Al Pacino is playing the part of the main robber "Sonny"? He combines drama with comedy with so much ease! His expressions, reactions- so natural and so funny!

5. A lot of attention has been paid to characterization- not just the main but  all others!

Genre: Comedy Thriller!

Stars: ****/ 4 stars

Here's a teaser: " On a hot Brooklyn afternoon, 2 optimistic nobodies set out to rob a bank. Sonny ( Al Pacino) is the mastermind, Sal ( John Cazale) is the follower and disaster is the result!"

The 1st Date!

She did not want it to be a romantic date...it was just a friendly date, she had made that very clear with him....
But unknowingly, she was taking special care in getting ready. She chose a very pretty top and a proper fit jeans, long earrings and the costliest perfume she owned.

He looked at himself in the mirror and remembered her warnings and " I'm just making it very clear" sentences filling up all of their chats for the past 1 week or so that they had been chatting. He smiled to himself mischivously and thought "Girls....Indian girls!"

They had not met each other - ever.
He had sent her a friend request on FB.
They did not have any mutual friends.
She accepted , simply looking at his snap!

They both lived in the same city...she would have never met him in other circumstances! She had a strict policy: No meeting chat friends!! But this time she was ready to make an exception. She had spoken to him on the phone and loved his voice, besides his looks of course and of course he was extremely witty in his chats...what more can one ask for?

They had decided to meet up for lunch !

12.30pm: She waited outside the mall, holding a yellow rose..

And he came, she had her back to him.
Him: Hi!
Her: ( surprised, shock, bewilderment) What are you doing here?
Him: I was just around the corner and saw you standing here for quite some time so thought of.....
Her: I don't want to talk to you.....Just.....How many times do I have to tell you that? it's over! Just go away....okay?
Him: Are you waiting for someone?
Her: None of your business.

He thought for a while, she clearly ignored him.................he left.

After a while.......

Him: Hello...you must be Shikha!
Her: (Turns: Smiling, pleased, happy) Yes......Hi!
Him: So let's go in....

They were seated in a posh restaurant, and so far the date had been going on very smoothly.

But suddenly he asks,

Him: How do you know Rohit?
She almost chokes.
Her: What? who?
Him: I saw you talking to Rohit before I approached you.
Her: How do you know him?
Him: I asked 1st!
Her: I wouldn't like to answer.
Him: oooo......something's cooking huh?
Her: Maybe.....so why don't you tell me?
Him: Funny isn't it? We don't have any mutual friends but the 1st time we decide to meet, we have found a common friend.
She is thoughtful......
Him: Rohit is my best friend from childhood.
She is even more thoughtful, how come she never heard of him before.....
She: ....How come I never met you then?
Him: I was abroad. ( he takes a sip of water)...so now I know....his Shikha....The girl he's been going mad about for the past 3 years......he was right...you are quite something........so...what was wrong with Rohit that you left him suddenly? and you wouldn't even talk to him?
Her: Hey, I don't want to talk about him.
Him: And I don't want to talk about anything but him!
Her: Then I guess we better stop here.

And then Rohit comes and has a sit on the same table.
She watches the 2 of them and the whole picture is clear to her.

She laughs,
Her: Great Friendship!

And gets up to leave the table.
Rohit: I would never let you see anybody else.....I'll always track you down, no matter where you are.....You belong to me!
Shikha: (Smiles sweetly and leaves)

Rohit was so angry, he muttered under his breath: "If you don't understand when I am patient with you, I know other methods....."
There is a small bottle in Rohit's hands.
Rohit swiftly stands and starts walking behind her .
She , with her back on him, takes out her mobile and dials 100.

He sat on the table, looking at the glass of water in his hands.
He had liked her, really liked her- even though it was all planned.
He knew Rohit well and had come to understand that Rohit did not deserve a girl like Shikha.
He did...she was his kind. and for the sake of friendship, he had to blow up everything.
But not now....Rohit had given him a reason to act otherwise, the girl's life was in danger and he had to do something.

He turned to look at Rohit and saw Rohit opening the bottle, Rohit was within reach of shikha.......he had to act fast, if he was to call out to her, she would stop and that would be her end.............in a swift move, he leaped to his feet and ran after Rohit......At that very point, Rohit made his move, he leaped in front to catch hold of shikha's shoulder.......

So he  ran  with all the energy he had, He dashed against shikha, she fell to the ground, and the acid bottle in Rohit's hand was emptied on his face!


Suraj- that was his name!
 He lay in his hospital bed, his face and neck covered in bandages....he could not see, though he was not blinded totally, his eyes were damaged and the extent of the damage was yet to be known.

Shikha entered the room with red roses.
She looked at him and could not fight back her tears. His was the face that was once the most attractive face to her eyes, that's why she had agreed to meet him, that's why she had made an exception.........and now it was all gone.
She went to him , held his hands gently...
"It's me...Shikha"

He could not speak but he tried to listen.....attentively.

"And I want to ask you out, for our 1st 'Romantic Date'......so get well soon, I'll be waiting for you."

An Arranged Marriage- A story!

She sat watching herself in the mirror- expressionless!
kajal lining her beautiful eyes, a little glitter on her lips, a bindi on her forehead, long straight hair, arched eyebrows and a straight nose, a healthy skin and a healthy body, she matched every and any marriage proposal's claim!

The 10th or so boy and his family were seated in the hall. The snacks and the tea had been served.

She wasn't nervous anymore, she had no hopes, no enthusiasm.....she almost knew what she was meeting.

She wished she could skip the family meeting sessions and directly could meet the guy and talk to him...one on one!

Her mother came to her, sat down in front of her, she held her hand, almost pleading, begging, " Barkha, beta , the guy is a MBA from a US university, his family is well educated, they are very nice people. He's very handsome.....they...."

" I know all that mamma!"

" Beta please.........please this time, have some patience beta!"

She stood up without a word and went out like she was some sacrificial goat! Her mother looked after her, and silently prayed!


She gave a faint smile to everyone watching her with admiration.....she kept her gaze low for a while and then looked up straight at the guy.....he was looking at her first, but when she looked at him so suddenly and unexpectedly, he looked down, almost shyly. She kept her gaze still on him, after a while he looked up again , in expectation that she was looking somewhere else, but when he found her still looking at him, he started looking around at other people and where they were looking. Barkha's mother nudged her, and she lowered her sight again!



They were both seated in their garden.

She was looking down, the boy was glad about that- her gaze had been scary!

"So.... ..well! Let me start the conversation.... I am Nikhil and I just came down 15 days back from the US because my mother said, it was time for me to you know, settle down.....and then they showed me your photograph and..........( he smiled to himself) ...you look even more beautiful in person Barkha......"

Her expression did not change........he thought for a while that she was dumb and deaf!"

" Barkha.......are you listening?"

She was still looking down. "Yes!"

" Then....why are you looking down?"

She looked up, again that same sharp look and Nikhil almost regretted his last sentence.
" Because you cannot handle me looking straight in your eyes, what will you do with me in your bed?"

"Excuse me?"

" Nikhil......I really don't care about your MBA from US or anywhere, i don't care how handsome you are and how good your family is......all I care about is.....let's see, to start with- Whether you are man enough for me to be a woman to? Or else, what's the whole point?"

" And you don't think I am man enough? Why? You want some dara singh, some warrior? Which century are you in?"

"That's exactly what I want to ask you. What century are you in? Just getting big degrees don't make you any modern if what you expect out of a woman is the same old shit that our society has been expecting from us all this while."

" Girls like you should go for a love marriage!"

" I know....unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a man smart, intelligent and self confidant enough to have me as his wife. You all like the way I look, you see in me a good wife who can cook, bear your children and look after them, but when I open my mouth to speak my mind, you don't like it because it is not my job.......isn't it?"

Now, he kept looking at her, not angry, not shy, not scared but as if he was remembering something, as if some lost pieces were falling back in place.

" You all are so scared, so tied by tradition and culture, you have forgotten to be spontaneous and instinctive and likeable! You now, I can't tell you apart from the other boys I've met. Because you don't speak your mind......you say the things you are expected to say, the same old sentences, same reactions, same look......oh my god! Were you all made in some sort of a factory? Same model , just different look, different professions and families and pay checks, but so god damn slavish!"

He was thoughtful!

She stopped, she had done the same thing ones again.......she could not understand why she tried to give this knowledge to these fools....they would never get it! What a waste of energy, she thought.

" Are you finished talking?"

" Yes....Now you just do what you have to do, reject me. i don't care! I rather stay single then spend a lifetime with a factory product. i want a man- with a soul, not a mechanic!"

He smiled and this time she was shocked and surprised.

" What are you smiling at?"

" Barkha.....I totally agree with you......... "

She threw back her hands in desperation.

" Yes.....I really do.... maybe we are not meant for each other , but I do know someone who is. Because even he has been searching for someone just like you."

He opened his wallet and took out his card, jotted down a number and an e-mail id and handed it over to her.

" Joe Torres, he's my boss. The owner of the company I work for. He was also my classmate for the MBA . I know him very well, he's a very nice person , single and still waiting for that one girl who's out of this world. I don't think a girl like you would believe in religions or in nationalities. For a girl like you, probably a non Indian is the best choice!"

She looked at the card in her hands for a while, thinking, quiet!

"For a girl like you, a non Indian is the best choice!"- his words rang in her ears for a while....

" Thank you Nikhil, thanks a lot for guiding me in your own way. But I don't think you know me fully to say a thing like that to me. Yes I've different ideas, that normally an Indian boy would find difficult to digest but I think, if god has created a girl like me in India, there must be a boy to suit me somewhere in India. Not that I am strong on nationalities or religions.....it's just that......I don't know Nikhil...."

She got up and turned to go back to her room......

"Barkha..."

She turned.

He went to her and held her hands,
" Confused aren't you?"
She did not answer.
" Do you know what you are doing? You are finding a fault in everything that is offered to you. Even if you do find a guy who comes the closest to your specifications, you will still reject him on some silly grounds. Open up Barkha.......the world is not black and white the way they tell us......there is no perfect man........this world is full of gray shades......you have your weaknesses and so do i have mine........But what is important is understanding, some maturity........Don't just use your brain anyway you can because god gave you that much sense, why don't you use it for better purposes. Come with me to the US, its a sea of opportunity. You are not the first girl I am meeting, I have been in a live in relationship with an American woman before. Take this chance with me Barkha, I know for sure, you aren't as difficult as you show yourself to be!"

She looked in his eyes, and he looked straight in hers- it was a match point!

" And of course even I don't want a boring something in my bed!"

They both smiled, for the first time, Barkha smiled shyly.....this man had made her feel shy!!

1 year later , they were married. The 1st time they had met, was the only time Barkha was most difficult...yes, she was highly carrier oriented and smart and vocal about her feelings, but so are many woman now a days. She just hadn't met a man who would accept her ideas, she wasn't a rebel, she simply thought so being in the company of wrong people.

When they went to the US, Barkha asked Nikhil one day, " You know Nikhil, I really want to meet this Joe Torres guy of yours and see how much similar to me he is!"

He laughed, " There is no Joe Torres."

One Night @ Chorla Ghat

Komal: A CA student, wildlife enthusiast, my classmate since 8th std, we've been together for many treks- in Goa and in the Himalayas. Quiet, generally non fussy, average in stamina, a team player! 

Sharvani: My best friend, non fussy, high stamina, high enthusiasm, when excited- talks a bit too much! a Bored CA final student  .

Janaki: Low stamina, high enthusiasm, when excited talks non stop whether anybody understands or not, suddenly turns extremely fussy when tired, a confused law graduate.

Sangam: Our wildlife expert that night. Supposedly knows the ghats inside out. A fellow Geminian, calm and composed, the only guy amongst us with a SLR that me and Sharvani eye all the time, I call him "Pappa."

 From Left: Sharvani, Komal, Gauri, Janaki and Sangam.

19th June: We spent the saturday night at Khokral, Maharashtra at Manerikar's Residence.

20th June: On sunday morning we visited a waterfall that was close by. We weren't tired since we hadn't walked too much and as I was to leave for Bangalore in 2 days, I wanted to do more than just 1 trek. So I , coaxed Sangam ( pappa) to coax the other 2- Komal and sharvani to come to Chorla Ghaat.

And so the adventure began....

Pappa had told all of us that it would be only a drive on the ghats since we reached late at around 6.15 pm when the sun was almost about to set in a few minutes time. The ghats in monsoons are foggy, wet, green and dark.

We crossed the Swapnagandha Resorts and the Wildernest Resorts in the Goan side of the ghat and crossed over to Karnatak side. The roads were bad, full of pot holes and at around 6.40pm, one of Estillo's tires gave up!

Apart from trucks and state transport buses, there were very few private vehicles passing by, mostly on their way back home on sunday night after a well spent day in the Chorla Ghats.

As the other 3 got down to changing the punctured tire, I spotted a beautiful and cute waterfall some distance away. It looked close enough to reach in around 15-20 minutes by foot. Pappa, knowing the area very well opposed the idea since the area is infested with leeches and other big and small known and unknown creatures, but poor thing couldn't do much  in front of the excitement of 3 girls who wanted to "Complete" their experience of a weekend with a bath in the spotted natural Jacuzzi!

And so we left the car near the main road, and trekked down to the waterfall. All we had were 4 mobiles which were all out of range, 1 umbrella with torch and a  jacket.

In the forests, as opposed to a rear view mirror of a car, images that appear close by are actually further away.

It took us 40 minutes to reach the base of the fall, the sunlight was almost fading, the fog was rising and Pappa was tensed about the safety of 3 girls.

When we finally reached the Jacuzzi, we couldn't dare to enter the water which in the dark looked scary, dark, mysterious and so was the rest of the forest....suddenly the horror of the situation seeped our brains about what Pappa had been telling all along.

"Pappa, we'll reach up to the road in time no?" I asked cautiously.
Pappa exploded!
"Don't you dare ask me this question now...you girls have no idea how dangerous this area is at night.....!"
Janaki: "It's not night yet...we still have plenty of time to get back!"
Pappa: In the forest, when the sun sets, it is night! Understood?

We quickly took a U-Turn and decided to head back to the car. By now, there was no sunlight, thankfully it wasn't raining though it was foggy and there was sufficient moonlight that at least let us spot each other.

It had been almost an hour we were walking back and we hadn't reached the road. We could hear the vehicles pass by on the main road but could not find our way up. It was around 8.15pm when Pappa hopelessly declared: We are lost! 

This was followed by a long tense silence. Such statements have different effects on different people- Komal went into a shock, Sharvani started the blame game and I was over excited about the prospects of getting a new adventure experience.

Sim: Sangam you said you know this area well!
Sangam: Yes! That's why I begged you all not to get down the main road, but you wouldn't listen.
Janaki: Wow! We are actually lost! I remember that song , Is kaal kaal main hum kare dhamaal!
All: SHUT the F*** UP!

Another half an hour and we still couldn't track back our way up. And then it started raining heavily. We took some shelter under a huge tree. We were by then completely wet, my cell battery as always was out, I always forget to charge it. And it's my Sony Erickson that has the most powerful light facility, others all had their fading screen lights now to guide us.

While we waited for the rains to slow down, I thought it would be a good idea to entertain the others to distract them a bit. So I chose some special stories my grandma told us which I always found creepy.

Janaki: You know my Grandma once told me a story about this one girl who went out into the forest at night and the leeches sort of all attacked her and got on to her , you know in all creepy places in her body!

Komal suddenly started scratching her body all over...
" I don't think it's a good idea to stand in one spot for such a long time. We are inviting trouble with those leeches!"

Sangam: And while walking if you step on to a snake , then? At least the leeches are not poisonous!

Janaki: And do you know, how those leeches finally had to be removed?

Sim: Shut up...you just shut up! Is this a kind of thing to tell at this time? You are scarring the hell out of us Janaki.

Janaki: Bravery lies in one's heart Sim, you either have it or you don't!
Sim: Yes I can see that! You are the one most protected with a full pant and a jacket. We are in 3/4th's here!

The fog was making it increasingly difficult to step anywhere and so we decided to spend the night under the  tree till favorable circumstances allow us to find our way. We all wouldn't dare sit down after the leeches story, so we stood in silence, watching the night eat up the forest , and the rain drops shunning all other sounds around us.


Suddenly in the dark, we could hear some sounds, the breaking of some branches, soft rustling of leaves.....My imagination started running wild, the party and the adventure excitement was now over....my heart was beating so fast, I could hardly breathe. Sangam stood in front of us shielding us,  I was really scared so I chose to stay right besides Pappa, Komal followed me  , Sharvani remained at the back. While Sangam was trying to see into the dark with the little light that he had, Sharvani was subconsciously stepping behind in fear of what lay ahead!

Suddenly Sharvani screamed so loudly, we felt our ears go numb for a while. She ran in the opposite direction, Komal followed her saying "avois , avois" and other exclamations in konkani . There were sounds from all directions, and I did not know where to run but I knew I had to make a move, so I ran.

The figure that Sharvani  had spotted was a herd of Bisons and they were 10 times more scared than her with her screaming, they ran into the forest.

I kept running. Behind me, I could hear Sangam asking me to stop ,saying that it was just a herd of Bisons.  In a few tense moments I'd actually climbed a difficult terrain leading to the road.

I brushed through some bushes and branches and could see a house-like with lights in front of me. Others followed behind me.

Later we found out that it was some Gopi's Dhaba.

The dhaba was closed. We walked to our car, finished the job of changing the tire and the 4 of us cramped up inside the car to take a nap till dawn.

We woke up to the sweet whistling of the Malabar Whistling Thrush at around 5am, and started our journey back home.

I've been lost in jungles before, but there were more people and we were well equipped so the situation wasn't as bad as this one. Now that I am back on safe ground, I can look back at this experience and add it in my "Most exciting days of my life" List!

Some more clicks of our trekking days:

Ami Gemini!

From the moment I've grown up enough to try and understand the world....I've always wondered why I am the way I am and have never come up with the right answer or explanation except one- I am a Gemini!

I have been amongst those who don't really believe in zodiac signs and astronomy, predictions and at times even the existence of God. But whenever life was turning upside down and there was no way to understand what was happening with me, I found solace in reading the behavioral traits of my zodiac sign!

Gemini- The 3rd astrological sign of the zodiac is shown by a symbol of twins!
June is the Geminian month , also happens to be my favorite month!

When I read Linda Goodman's book, I found Gemini's to be the most interesting of all the zodiac's.

For one, I have a dual personality, sometimes even more than 2. I can very well "act" to be 2 totally different types of people in the same day, back to back
- 1- a very shy, quiet, sari clad Indian woman and
2- a very extrovert, giggling , outgoing modern girl!

I'll go out for a function at 7 pm in a sari and at 10pm I'll be in some club dancing away the night!
In real I may not have been any one, at times I am true to both these characters- it all depends on the mood and the situation I suppose.

The worst outcome of being a Gemini is the fact that people find it difficult to understand and comprehend a Geminian. Especially the opposite sex. If you have a Geminian girl friend, that too one brought up with a free soul ( combined with the fact that Gemini is an air sign) you are doomed! One day she will be happy beyond measure , and there might not be even a reason for her happiness. The next day her mood is completely off, that too might be for no apparent reason!

The best thing about having a Geminian Girlfriend, they say, is that you get many for 1! You might not have an idea about how versatile a Geminian woman can be- Flirtatious, shy, traditional, modern, intellectual- she's all in one!

In my personal experience, I go along well with fellow Geminians. In general, Most Scorpions are my trusted friends- there are other zodiac signs but I don't have too much experience beyond just 1 person in each of those zodiac's who happen to be my close pals!

It takes me great difficulty to get along with Capricorn's and Libran's! ( My sister happens to be a Capricorn and it's tough on both of us to come to an agreeable platform!)

In short here's how I get along with different zodiacs:

Capricorn: Diagonally opposite to my sign. Opposites attract but this is a lethal combination! Stay out! :-)

Aquarius: Most astrology books say gemini's are perfect for Aquarius and vice-versa and I've seen this combination work for a friend of mine.... personally I've got along well with a few of them.

Pisces: We are cool!

Aries: We are cool but might need a mediator!

Taurus: The bull is fine with me as long as I don't mess with it, if I do, it sure kicks! ;-)

Gemini: My species! I understand them well, they understand me well! But when we both have the same things on our minds- disaster spells!

Cancer: Ummm.......We both want different things out of life, so it's best to keep safe distance!

Leo: I get along well with them as long as I let the lion walk the way he likes, and I've never crossed them so they are quite protective and nice to me!


Virgo: I don't understand them quite well to get too close!

Libra: They always like to keep the balance and I'm always out of balance, we can't stand on the same plane unless one of us is okay  falling off!

Scorpio: My buddies! They are quiet, listening types, understanding, good friends, very trustable! Supposed to be a very flirtatious sign but with me they are always friendly!

Sagittarius: Blunt and frank! I like these people cause they speak their minds and they never show you what they are not.




If your life is dull, boring and monotonous, go find a Gemini!
They always have something or the other on their minds!

If you want to learn more about human psychology and the working of a human brain, then I think a Geminian can just show you how difficult the task is!

I remember 1 song that can describe me best being a Gemini: And I'll end this post with it, It's a song by Nelly Furtado and it's called " I am like a bird".

You're beautiful...
That's for sure
You'll never ever fade...
You're lovely...
But it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare...
Though my love is true...
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years...
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well...

It's not that I wanna say goodbye...
It's just that every time you try...
To tell me that you love me...
Each and every single day I know...
I'm going to have to eventually give you away...

http://www.layoutchef.com/Images/Zodiac_Comments/Gemini/images/gemini.bmp

On my Birthday...

Isn't it boring to simply do the same things on your every Birthday?
The same friends and family- a few new one's here and there but overall it's the same gathering!
The same menu- chicken, pulao,fruit salad- somethings change, but overall it remains the same!
The same cake cutting ceremony, and as you grow up you don't even play games...you simply sit around and chat.....

As families grow and new members are added, every month you have a birthday to attend and it's all done in the same manner every year!
Birthday's are the most boring occasions to attend on my list now!

And I didn't want mine to be the same.

A few years back I decided I would make sure I travel on my birthday since I love travelling! And this year I decided I will spend my time the way I love it most- amidst nature!

I've often spoken about Netravali. This is some place I've been visiting for the past couple of years- whether it is for camps or just a quick get away. Being only an hours drive from Margao, Netravali is the closest destination I've found for relaxation and rejuvenation!

With a few close friends who love to trek and a few family members, we started early morning for Netravali on the 13th. Monsoons make Netravali Wildlife Sanctuary even a more beautiful place. And from the moment we started our drive, it had started raining!

Monsoon treks have an excitement of their own! Since we were trekking towards the Mainapi waterfall, the entire way is full of rocks , slippery , curvy, and full of dangerous rocks! Of course, I did not want to break a bone on my birthday but I did fall, as everyone else did!

I wished I could put up some snaps here, but my friend in the north has them all captured on his SLR and as and when I get them I'll surely put them up.

There was no lunch on this birthday, since the 6 hour trek that started at 10 am in the morning took all our time. Lunch consisted of some biscuits, chocolates, banana chips etc. The greatest form of joy came through the magnificent waterfall, the fact that we got all our privacy and we could practice diving and swimming in the deep green waters!

When I was back to the base camp- The Tanshikar house was ready with simple home made food and an Alphonso mango and loads of Ice cream!

The peace and the joy I experienced on this birthday was like none other I've ever experienced!

My apologies to all my friends and family who called on my birthday but either couldn't get through the call or I could not speak to them. Thank you for all your wishes and blessings!

But now on it's going to be a bit different... For the past several years I've had parties, lots of eating,playing, dancing and drinking and good clothes and make up! Now on it's going to be about dirtied and soiled clothes, no make up , no good food but lots and lots and lots of joy and inner peace and tranquility!

Try it....I am sure you'll like it too!

This year I turned 25!
A bit more mature, more understanding, more serious???

Naah!

This 25th Birthday I make a promise to myself, as I get older, I'll get wackier, Crazier , gutsier and braver. I will do more, live more, laugh more and feel more!

Reading "The Fountainhead!" ( Part 1)

I have been thinking of writing a post about something all these days but I haven't been able to concentrate on anything because I am reading "The Fountainhead!"

It's a big book and I've just started, but every page, every dialogue brings a storm in my thinking head!

After reading the first 100 pages I was simply awed, and asked myself, Why didn't I read this book all these years?  It looks like "The Book" I had been searching for, waiting for! 

I am still just reading it, so it will be better to say anything about it only when I finish!

But I couldn't keep away from blogging, Gosh I've missed this space and I don't like the heading " Why I killed Gandhi" all over my blog for such a long time.....it's time to move on to the next topic.....Gandhi is dead and so is Nathuram....so let's talk about happier times...or anything else...

Before I sign off, the dialogues that touched my soul:

"Don't you know that most people take most things because that's what's given to them, and they have no opinion whatever? Do you wish to be guided by what they expect you to think they think ,or by your own judgment?"



" What do you want? Perfection?"
" - or nothing. So , you see, I take the nothing!"
" That doesn't make sense."
"I take the only desire one can really permit oneself. Freedom, Alvah freedom!"
" You call that Freedom?"
" To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing!"


Awesome!
Hats off to Ayn Rand!

Why I KIlled Gandhi?

Got this amazing fwd! It is my humble request to all the readers to read this piece because it has that rare part of our history that is so important but is shunned all the time and is treated as a taboo. I've maintained the original format of the mail. WHY I KILLED GANDHI!!! NATHURAM GODSE 'S ADDRESS IN COURT* *Gandhiji Assassin: Nathuram Godse's Final Address to the Court*. Nathuram Godse was arrested immediately after he assassinated Gandhiji, based on a F. I. R. filed by Nandlal Mehta at the Tughlak Road Police station at Delhi . *The trial, which was held in camera, began on 27th May 1948 and concluded on 10th February 1949. He was sentenced to death..* An appeal to the Punjab High Court, then in session at Simla, did not find favourable and the sentence was upheld. *The statement that you are about to read is the last made by Godse before the Court on the 5th of May 1949**. * *Such was the power and eloquence of this statement that one of the judges, G. D. Khosla, later wrote, "I have, however, no doubt that had the audience of that day been constituted into a jury and entrusted with the task of deciding Godse's appeal, they would have brought a verdict of 'not Guilty' by an overwhelming majority"** * *WHY I KILLED GANDHI* "Born in a devotional Brahmin family, I instinctively came to revere Hindu religion, Hindu history, and Hindu culture. *I had, therefore, been intensely proud of Hinduism as a whole. * As I grew up I developed a tendency to free thinking unfettered by any superstitious allegiance to any isms, political or religious. *That is why I worked actively for the eradication of untouchables and the caste system based on birth alone. I openly joined RSS wing of anti-caste movements and maintained that all Hindus were of equal status as to rights, social, and religious and should be considered high or low on merit alone and not through the accident of birth in a particular caste or profession. * I used publicly to take part in organized anti-caste dinners in which thousands of Hindus, Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaisyas, Chamars and Bhangis participated. *We broke the caste rules and dined in the company of each other. I have read the speeches and writings of Ravana, Chanakiya, Dadabhai Naoroji, Vivekanand, Gokhale, Tilak, along with the books of ancient and modern history of India* and some prominent countries like England , France , America , and Russia . Moreover I studied the tenets of Socialism and Marxism. But above all *I studied very closely whatever Veer Savarkar and Gandhiji had written and spoken, as to my mind these two ideologies have contributed more to the molding of the thought and action of the Indian people during the last thirty years* or so, than any other single factor has done. All this reading and thinking led me to believe it was my first duty to serve Hinduism and Hindus both as a patriot and as a world citizen. *To secure the freedom and to safeguard the just interests of some thirty crores (300 million) of Hindus would automatically constitute the freedom and the well-being of all India , one fifth of human race. This conviction led me naturally to devote myself to the Hindu Sanghtanist ideology and program, which alone, I came to believe, could win and preserve the national independence of Hindustan , my Motherland, and enable her to render true service to humanity as well. * *Since the year 1920, that is, after the demise of Lokamanya Tilak, Gandhiji's influence in the Congress first increased and then became supreme *. His activities for public awakening were phenomenal in their intensity *and were reinforced by the slogan of truth and non-violence* which he paraded ostentatiously before the country. No sensible or enlightened person could object to those slogans. In fact there is nothing new or original in them. They are implicit in every constitutional public movement. But it is nothing but a mere dream if you imagine that the bulk of mankind is, or can ever become, capable of scrupulous adherence to these lofty principles in its normal life from day to day. In fact, honour, duty, and love of one's own kith and kin and country might often compel us to disregard non-violence and to use force. *I could never conceive that an armed resistance to an aggression is unjust*. I would consider it a religious and moral duty to resist and, if possible, to overpower such an enemy by use of force. *[In the Ramayana] Rama killed Ravana* in a tumultuous fight and relieved Sita.. [In the Mahabharata] , * Krishna** killed Kansa *to end his wickedness; and Arjuna had to fight and slay quite a number of his friends and relations including the revered Bhishma because the latter was on the side of the aggressor. It is my firm belief that in dubbing Rama, Krishna , and Arjuna as guilty of violence, the *Mahatma betrayed a total ignorance* of the springs of human action. *In more recent history, it was the heroic fight put up by Chhatrapati Shivaji that first checked and eventually destroyed the Muslim tyranny in India* . It was absolutely essentially for Shivaji to overpower and kill an aggressive Afzal Khan, failing which he would have lost his own life. In condemning history's *towering warriors like Shivaji, Rana Pratap and Guru Gobind Singh as misguided patriots, Gandhiji has merely exposed his self-conceit. * He was, paradoxical as it may appear a violent pacifist who brought untold calamities on the country in the name of truth and non-violence, while Rana Pratap, Shivaji, and the Guru will remain enshrined in the hearts of their countrymen for ever for the freedom they brought to them. The accumulating provocation of thirty-two years, culminating in his last pro-Muslim fast, at last goaded me to the conclusion that the existence of Gandhi should be brought to an end immediately. *Gandhi had done very well in South Africa to uphold the rights and well-being of the Indian community there. But when he finally returned to India he developed a subjective mentality under which he alone was to be the final judge of what was right or wrong. If the country wanted his leadership, it had to accept his infallibility; if it did not, he would stand aloof from the Congress and carry on his own way. * Against such an attitude there can be no halfway house. *Either Congress had to surrender its will to his and had to be content* with playing second fiddle to all his eccentricity, whimsicality, metaphysics and primitive vision, *or it had to carry on without him.* *He alone was the Judge of everyone and every thing*; he was the master brain guiding the civil disobedience movement; no other could know the technique of that movement. He alone knew when to begin and when to withdraw it. The movement might succeed or fail, it might bring untold disaster, and political reverses but that could make no difference to the Mahatma's infallibility. 'A Satyagrahi can never fail' was his formula for declaring his own infallibility and nobody except himself knew what a Satyagrahi is. *Thus, the Mahatma became the judge and jury in his own cause. These childish insanities and obstinacies, coupled with a most severe austerity of life, ceaseless work and lofty character made Gandhi formidable and irresistible. * Many people thought that his politics were irrational but they had either to withdraw from the Congress or place their intelligence at his feet to do with as he liked. *In a position of such absolute irresponsibility Gandhi was guilty of blunder after blunder, failure after failure, disaster after disaster. Gandhi's pro-Muslim policy is blatantly in his perverse attitude on the question of the national language of India .* It is quite obvious that Hindi has the most prior claim to be accepted as the premier language. In the beginning of his career in India , Gandhi *gave a great impetus to Hindi but as he found that the Muslims did not like it, he became a champion of what is called Hindustani.. Everybody in India knows that there is no language called Hindustani;* it has no grammar; it has no vocabulary. It is a mere dialect, it is spoken, but not written. It is a bastard tongue and cross-breed between Hindi and Urdu, and not even the Mahatma's sophistry could make it popular. But in his desire *to please the Muslims he insisted that Hindustani alone should be the national language of India .* His blind followers, of course, supported him and the so-called hybrid language began to be used. The charm and purity of the Hindi language was to be prostituted to please the Muslims. All his experiments were at the expense of the Hindus. >*From August 1946 onwards the private armies of the Muslim League began a massacre of the Hindus. The then Viceroy, Lord Wavell, though distressed at what was happening, would not use his powers under the Government of India Act of 1935 to prevent the rape, murder and arson. The Hindu blood began to flow from Bengal to Karachi with some retaliation by the Hindus. The Interim Government formed in September was sabotaged by its Muslim League member right from its inception, *but the more they became disloyal and treasonable to the government of which they were a part, the greater was Gandhi's infatuation for them.* Lord Wavell had to resign as he could not bring about a settlement and he was succeeded by Lord Mountbatten. King Log was followed by King Stork. *The Congress which had boasted of its nationalism and socialism secretly accepted Pakistan literally at the point of the bayonet and abjectly surrendered to Jinnah. India was vivisected and one-third of the Indian territory became foreign land to us from August 15, 1947.* Lord Mount batten came to be described in Congress circles as the greatest Viceroy and Governor-General this country ever had. The official date for handing over power was fixed for June 30, 1948, *but Mount batten with his ruthless surgery gave us a gift of vivisected India ten months in advance. This is what Gandhi had achieved after thirty years of undisputed dictatorship and this is what Congress party calls 'freedom' and 'peaceful transfer of power'. The Hindu-Muslim unity bubble was finally burst and a the ocratic state was established with the consent of Nehru and his crowd and they have called 'freedom won by them with sacrifice' - whose sacrifice? When top leaders of Congress, with the consent of Gandhi, divided and tore the country - which we consider a deity of worship - my mind was filled with direful anger. * One of the conditions imposed by Gandhi for his breaking of the fast unto death related to the mosques in Delhi occupied by the Hindu refugees. But when Hindus in Pakistan were subjected to violent attacks he did not so much as utter a single word to protest and censure the Pakistan Government or the Muslims concerned. Gandhi was shrewd enough to know that while undertaking a fast unto death, had he imposed for its break some condition on the Muslims in Pakistan , there would have been found hardly any Muslims who could have shown some grief if the fast had ended in his death. It was for this reason that he purposely avoided imposing any condition on the Muslims. He was fully aware of from the experience that Jinnah was not at all perturbed or influenced by his fast and the Muslim League hardly attached any value to the inner voice of Gandhi. Gandhi is being referred to as the Father of the Nation. *But if that is so, he had failed his paternal duty in as much as he has acted very treacherously to the nation by his consenting to the partitioning of it. I stoutly maintain that Gandhi has failed in his duty*. *He has proved to be the Father of Pakistan*. His inner-voice, his spiritual power and his doctrine of non-violence of which so much is made of, all crumbled before Jinnah's iron will, and proved to be powerless. Briefly speaking, I thought to myself and foresaw I shall be totally ruined, and the only thing I could expect from the people would be nothing but hatred and that I shall have lost my entire honor, even more valuable than my life, if I were to kill Gandhiji. *But at the same time I felt that the Indian politics in the absence of Gandhiji would surely be proved practical, able to retaliate, and would be powerful with armed forces. No doubt, my own future would be totally ruined, but the nation would be saved from the inroads of Pakistan . *People may even call me and dub me as devoid of any sense or foolish, but the nation would be free to follow the course founded on the reason which *I consider to be necessary for sound nation-building. * After having fully considered the question, I took the final decision in the matter, but I did not speak about it to anyone whatsoever. I took courage in both my hands and I did fire the shots at Gandhiji on 30th January 1948, on the prayer-grounds of Birla House. *I do say that my shots were fired at the person whose policy and action had brought rack and ruin and destruction to millions of Hindus. There was no legal machinery by which such an offender could be brought to book and for this reason I fired those fatal shots. I bear no ill will towards anyone individually but I do say that I had no respect for* the present government owing to their policy which was unfairly favorable towards the Muslims. But at the same time I could clearly see that the policy was entirely due to the presence of Gandhi. *I have to say with great regret that Primes Minister Nehru quite forgets that his preaching's and deeds are at times at variances with each other when he talks about India as a secular state in season and out of season, because it is significant to note that Nehru has played a leading role in the establishment of the theocratic state of Pakistan,* and his job was made easier by Gandhi's persistent policy of appeasement towards the Muslims. I now stand before the court to accept the full share of my responsibility for what I have done and the judge would, of course, pass against me such orders of sentence as may be considered proper. *But I would like to add that I do not desire any mercy to be shown to me, nor do I wish that anyone else should beg for mercy on my behalf. My confidence about the moral side of my action has not been shaken even by the criticism leveled against it on all sides. I have no doubt that honest writers of history will weighs my act and find the true value thereof some day in future.* ? NOW YOU DECIDE HOW HISTORY SHOULD JUDGE ME? JAI HIND

The Story of the BIG LIFE MALL!

( Please Note: This article is open for interpretation. Please let me know your views by posting your comments. )

This is the first time I am visiting this mall! And it is huge, beautiful with interesting decorations hanging from a ceiling so high, you can hardly see from where they come! The entire mall is bright , and its walls and panels are shiny white! It looks so clean, so neat , so pure!

It has these huge gates of gold. The combination of white and gold glitters everywhere in every form of this mall's existence! It's decorations, theme and even it's executives are dressed in white fabric and gold!

I approach the huge gates and a security guard checks me with a metal detector.

" Good Morning! Welcome to the " Big Life Mall ". In order to enter , you would have to choose a costume which will be your identity for the rest of your time in this mall. It helps us track you down, to help you whenever you need us. The "Previledge costumes" come with " Previledge Service" , such as we entertain help calls from "Previledge costumes" 1st before any other! These costumes are costlier , designed with the best material - so they are beautiful ( laughs) that goes without saying but they are delicate, but they can adapt to different situations faster!"

" What about the other Costumes?"

" We also have the "Dominating Costumes" , they help you move around faster, they are stronger and are made with comparitively more rough material, they have lesser functions in comparison to Previledge Costumes and cost less."

" And what else do you have?"

" Other all Costumes come under the category of " Risk Costumes"!

" Risk Costumes? That's kind of a scary name! What's up with these Costumes?"

"Hmm..... They combine the qualities of Previledge Costumes and Dominating Costumes in smaller or bigger quantities.......So no 2 costumes in this category are same. Some are strong and Beautiful at the same time , others are fast and have many other functions which are left to the imagination of the wearer of such costumes. We call it the Risk Costume because not all our customers have liked them so far, many of them complain far too much , others leave our Mall sooner because they find these Costumes very uncomfortable! So we don't usually recommend them."

" Why don't you take it off from the mall then?"

" There's a very small number of customers who specifically ask for these Costumes.....!"

" Ohh I see!"

" So which Costume would you like?"

" I would like to have a look, Can I?"

" Yes sure! But you would have to swipe your card for us to read how much Balance you have before you enter. since we don't let people with low balance enter the previledge section! "


So I swipe my card, I have the required balance and I enter the Risk section first. This section is definately meant for those with different tastes, the style of this costume is difficult to understand. I lose interest within a few minutes of entering this section . As they say only people with a developed taste can appreciate an art! This section is no less than a museum to my eyes!

So I go on to the next level, that is the " Dominating Costumes" section. These Costumes have lots of takers it seems, there's a general rush and at the end of this section there's a huge cue to enter the previledge section. Some are fighting because they've been barred from entering due to their low Balance. I quickly join the line , and get past the check post into what truly seems the continuation of the mall- The Previledge section! It has long flowing, soft flowery costumes! It has mild gentle fruity smell all around the place! Why would someone not choose these costumes? I go through each one of them carefully and stop before a medium length light pink Costume! It is very soft to touch, and has a very attractive smell and look! While I am just about to pick it up, someone says in my ear-
" Careful!"
I turn back to see another Previledge customer!
" Excuse me?"
" The more delicate a Costume, more difficult is its handling!"
" But it's so beautiful! I cannot resist trying it on!"
" Haven't you been told? You can't try out costumes here. You choose one- take as much time as you like, but once you wear it- it fits you anyway, and then you have to carry it- whether you like it or not!"

" I don't see why I wouldn't like it!"
" This is my 2nd time in this mall and the 1st time too I picked up something as beautiful as this one, of course as the time is passing, they are truly coming with more beautiful pieces! But.........
I had the most beautiful costume in the whole mall.......it felt great!"

I was looking at 'the one', and could truly feel the description - I was lost in my own dreams, how good I would look with this costume? Ohh everyone would be so jealous of me!

" But then the reality started sinking in on me. I was pulled and pushed all the time by those who wear the Dominating Costume......I don't know what is wrong with them? It's either that they wanted the previledge costume that they couldn't have or that they want to show how good their costume is!! huh! As if I care!"

The One looked at the Pink costume again!

" Ohh It was a pain handling this costly delicate thing. It would tear and hurt all the time, someone or the other would always push or dash on me- they all are so fast, but these are so slow!!"

The One looked with a firm gaze at me!

" It's a deception, you see? The name Previledge is a deception you get lost into. It tests our selfish nature and greediness. None of us want to settle down for anything less. We want the best- we want all the Previledge! and so we have to pay the price!"

" But if I do have the required balance to pay for it, why not?"

" My dear , I am not talking about affording this Costume! Affording this costume is the easiest part of this story, the reality seeps in only when you enter the mall!"

" Why? Isn't the mall as beautiful as this?"

" Now that's another huge deception!" the One laughs!

I am confused, " Why ? What's wrong with the mall?"

" I wouldn't spoil the mystery. You are here for the first time. Take it all with a pinch of salt......It's nice , it's fun , it has lots of beauty in it! But most of us are so used to all goodness that we can not appreciate the beauty of negative emotions as well!"

" Err...What? Negative what?"

" Exactly....remember 1 thing, this is going to be the best journey you've ever had. And whether you like it or not, at the end of it you would definately recommend this mall to anybody who asks you! That's the spice in this mall that you would find nowhere else!"

The One winks at me and leaves..



And the rest as they say is history!

I chose the costume I am in today!

In different sections of the mall, they call each costume by a different name but nobody calls them as - Previledge, Dominating and Risky ( these are hard to spot- strangely! Becasue they were the most prominent in their wardrobes! Life's funny!)

As The One had said, I encountered Dominating One's trying to push me around....but what the One had not told me is that some Dominating one's can compliment me, they've been extremely generous in offering me their support which has made my time in the mall not just easy but lots more fun!

The idea, it seems, is to have the best time one possibly can , while you are in this mall! To see as much as you can, to experience as much as you can- and to connect to as many customers and learn from them! Because One Costume is not enough to get the whole experience of the BIG LIFE MALL!

Those old school days...

I inherited all my school textbooks from Di.
Di's books were an example of how a book could be used and still looked as if it hadn't been used!

I was and am totally against this mentality! I love to leave behind my mark - ("Yes! I have read this text!") on books and benches ( not on tourist places!) .

Since I was least interested in what went on in class, I would put my heart and soul into decorating my textbooks! My favorites were language books- hindi, English etc. Because they had stories and pictures of human beings whom I could turn into demons by drawing two horns and a long tongue! And 1 subject I hated to study but on whose textbook I spent maximum time was Sanskrit! Sanskrit textbooks were filled with drawings of Kings and Queens, and I not only turned them into demons but also put thought bubbles in front of their mouths and filled it with funny dialogues!

I sat on the very 1st bench, right below the teacher's nose. Another of my classroom time pass was to give to the teacher whatever she required before anybody else could! I really don't understand today, what was the whole excitement about? But there were some others like me who gave me competition , so yes, that activity must have been interesting! In that event of being the first to give, we would fall- sometimes at the teacher's feet and hit each other to be the first and often get back on the bench with taunts from the teacher like - " I wished you had fought that hard for marks!"

So once our Sanskrit teacher asked for the textbook and "Jhataak" I gave it in her hands! And then it occurred to me that other than textbooks, I could give anybody anything! She opened the book and went through the pages, closed it and looked at the cover-

" Is this your textbook Janaki? What is this?"

Err...... Textbook it was, with my creativity all over the pages!

The teacher couldn't stop at that. She could not read that text book - fine, throw it back at me, you don't need to lecture me in front of the class, especially with those silly boys giggling behind!

"How old are you now? This is what is expected out of a 14 year old girl?"

- I never understand such dialogues- what do you mean by "this is not expected out of a so and so year old boy or girl?" Oh come on, what we do is all human...not that I am the first girl in the world to do that!
But when it was my turn to teach- I said the exact same dialogues to confused teenagers!

" Get out of the class and erase all that right now!"

ERASE?? Erase what? I wanted to tell her, the kings are no more kings- they are demons! Either they will live on my text as demons or nothing!

But I was put to the task right away!

My poor little frail textbook!


First, it was 3 years old ( my sister's) ,
secondly I had mishandled it,
Thirdly I drew all my pictures with 4B or 2B pencils, and had carved out my drawings so deeply that the original picture could hardly be seen!

I did not know how to start, from where to start! Finally I decided it would be the horns! The first stroke of the eraser and the page got torn!

Chalo , ho gaya kaam!

Thankfully the school bell rang and I was out of the school building even before the teacher came out of the class.

Unfortunately now, in my text , there are no pictures, no humans , no animals! It's just boring alphabets! All I can do is mark important sections with glitter pens and markers for some fun- but that's it!

For all this and so much more, I miss those old school days.....