Welcome to the City!

Silk Board Junction in Bengaluru is well known for its heavy traffic jams. Even after a flyover has been built connecting directly to the Electronic city, the traffic isn't any less at the Junction and at times one finds oneself stuck at the signal for as long as 15 minutes during rush hours.

Sneha's route was typically J.P Nagar to Marathahalli where she worked and back to J.P Nagar where she stayed. For 2 years she had traveled by buses and now had bought herself a bike, which was not for use to go to office everyday but mainly to avoid getting into arguments with auto drivers on weekends, who are well known for screwing up the meters to charge more fare, which in turn leads to a lot of stress, and inconvenience to the commuters. But why would the Government care to look into the matter? Heck! They don't even care about the flyover constructions on the outer ring road taking forever and causing so much inconvenience to the commuters everyday!

Even after paying the highest road tax in India, this is what we get! Pollution, traffic jams, construction work everywhere on the road, poorly built service roads, no proper traffic / danger/ construction signs where construction work is happening. The other day Sneha almost drove into a big pit at the end of the road, which was not barricaded or covered with any warning signs. Sneha felt she had been given a 2nd chance at life after not lending into the pit, thanks to her super quick brakes! Roads are bad but the automobile industry is doing a great job considering all the odds.

This week was a tough one. There were deadlines to meet and Sneha was getting her bike to office every day. No...not because of the deadlines but because once you get used to a vehicle, its difficult to want to go standing all the way in an over crowded bus. You tend to like the dust and the pollution over the sweat around you.

She thought she would try to enjoy the bike rides, sing a song while riding or think about what work needs to be done, or reflect on where life is going etc etc. But no....The crazy traffic doesn't let you do anything other than think which is the sleekest way to get ahead of the cars, trucks and other bikes standing in front of you and you try so hard for over 20 minutes , with all your driving skills and confidence only to find you are bloody running a rat race. The woman you supposedly crossed over 10 minutes back is now riding with you. Fuck! You got nowhere!

What's worse?

Riding in this traffic only to find you are really getting nowhere, or working in that lame IT office environment day in and day out , and get nowhere and feel nothing by the end of weeks and months and years??

Tough choice!

Everyday Sneha went around these same topics in her head while riding and she was starting to get irritated!
"Oh come on! There has to be more to a city than the salary you get paid at the end of the month!"
Now a days she couldn't find a reason for her living in a city.
She looked at the life of her friends back home. Happily settled with a family, and a job. The job might not be paying them as much as hers paid her. It might not have growth opportunities as her job had. But, you also don't get unnecessarily stressed with traffic and pollution! Half of your life spent in commuting! Does it make any sense at all?

"Excuse me?"
Sneha's thought process was disturbed by someone standing with a bike besides her.
"Yes?"
He was a boy with a blue checked shirt. That's all she noticed of him in the first look. The blue checks. She loved his shirt.
"Don't think I'm a stalker, but I've seen you around many times. Maybe our time of commuting is the same. You work in Vrindavan Tech Park right?"
"Yes"
"I work there too."
"Oh!Which company?"

Just then the signal turned green or in other words, it said," Get Set Go" ,and all the vehicles rushed as if there was a million dollar prize for them at the end of the road.

Sneha took her own sweet time to navigate her way. Every now and then she could see the blue checked shirt riding somewhere around her. Sometimes he would be completely out of sight, and she would ride a bit faster, try to locate him, and when he came back into sight, there was a relief of some sort.
Blue checked shirt preferred the service roads to the jammed main roads while Sneha usually stuck to the main road.....whichever roads they took, almost every time they ended up being somewhere around each other, but never next to each other. Whenever they were stuck in a traffic, they looked at each other and smiled, but were too far away to talk to each other.

In the next 30 minutes, blue checks was lost somewhere and Sneha could not locate him at all.

She reached her Tech Park and parked her bike in her company parking lot.
As she walked from the parking lot to her desk, she though, "This day feels different!"
Funny as it may sound, a few sentences exchanged with a stranger had brought a whole new perspective about the way she perceived life in this city.
Suddenly she was looking forward to ride back home in the expectation that she would see him again, and maybe ask his name??
Why? Had she liked him?
No...not really. she wasn't so foolish to fall in love at 1st sight.
Then why was her world painted in red today?
She couldn't tell.
She couldn't tell  why!

The deadlines were over, and so was the week. She made it a point to start from home at the same time every day, but for the next 2 weeks, she did not see him anywhere on the road. She knew his bike number. But he was nowhere in sight.
Had he lied that he was a regular commuter?
Did something happen to him?
Is he alive?
Was he a dream?
Am I sane??

That was the only question that haunted her in week 3. "Am I sane?"

"Miss Sen!"
She was startled out of her reverie as her colleague called out to her.

"Yes Varun?"
"Where are you lost?"
 She turned to look at her laptop and realized why Varun asked such a question. She had been looking at the screen saver, god knows for how long!
"Nowhere!"
She tapped the mouse to get back to her work.

Varun came closer to her cubicle.
"So Sneha.......what is it?"
"What is what Varun?", She kept her eyes fixed on her monitor. While he kept his eyes fixed on her.
"Who's he?"
"Who's who?"
"The guy you have been thinking about for quite a long time now??"
"I don't think about any guy Varun."
"Okay then....the girl you have been thinking about for quite a long time now?" He joked, she picked up a spare magazine and threw at him.
"Coffee?"
"No thank you."

Varun nagged her a bit more and then left her alone knowing that she wouldn't budge. She had started feeling helplessly foolish about this whole scenario. She had been in a few relationships before, she wasn't the "Never been kissed" types, and she knew better than those romantic fairy tale stuff that young girls love all the time. But still, she couldn't do anything to keep her heart from searching for the one.

The next day, she decided she would not take the bike to office. What with her eyes scanning each and every bike number, she felt as if she was on some mission impossible! She walked to her usual bus stop and got into the familiar bus. There was no place to sit, as always. But now she preferred the sweat smell to her ride through the polluted rugged roads as if she was a secret spy, a CIA agent. She had started making a fool out of herself on that episode now. All she remembered was his bike number and the checked shirt. She couldn't even remember how he looked. She had even gone to the extent of googling 'who wears blue checked shirt' and found no logical answer to the question. Unknowingly she started smiling and later chuckling, a few ladies and men standing besides her turned to look at her. But she couldn't stop. The whole episode was so damn funny. She started laughing now, uncontrollably, tears rolling down her cheeks....people around her thought she was insane. She tried to explain through her laughs and tears, "Gosh...I can't stop laughing...my god! This is so funny! I....... ( laughs, chuckles, tears, laugh ) God...I've.....( laughs, chuckles), can't believe myself!" A few young girls besides her started laughing as well. For whole 5 minutes she laughed as if she had been granted the right to laugh for the first time in her life. So she made a quick decision to get down from the bus and return home because she totally doubted her mental status. The conductor let her get down, and everyone looked at her with amazement. When the bus passed by, she settled down and stopped laughing. Took 2 deep breaths. She kept standing at the side of the Outer Ring Road, in the middle of nowhere. She looked down at her feet  and kept looking there.
"Hi."
She looked up.
"Yes?"
"I heard you laughing in the bus."
" Great! And you thought I was mad."
"No...just that it was the most amazing laughter I've ever heard."
"Thanks..but I feel like such a fool!", She looked away.

He gave her some time and then asked,
"coffee?"
" Is there any coffee shop at all around here?", she was quick to answer and looked around.
" We'll have to walk a little to get there. Mind it?"

He looked descent. Specs with a black geeky frame, curly hair, fair skin tone , a bit plump but a reassuring face and a cute smile.
"I'm Sneha ." She extended her hand.
"I'm Jaydeep."

They walked to the coffee shop and sat there 4 whole hours talking. Talking about anything and everything.

And so she realized once again why she loved the city so much.

In cities, you meet people, you make friends, some go on to be life long friends, some just for a few minutes. But it is the city where anything and everything is possible. It's the city which offers you the world of your dreams.

Nobody cares whether you laugh or you cry.
Or that you are in love or you have fallen out of it.
They don't care.

And that's nice in a way, because you aren't judged 24x7 on your every word spoken and every step taken. You can go whichever way you like. You can go wrong- knowingly, unknowingly, foolishly....whatever.
No silly rules and traditions bind you. No-one sees you holding hands with some random guy and report it back home.You can act foolish and that wouldn't be held against you for the rest of your life.



You see this isn't a post about a love story.
It's a post about the life in a city the way I see it.
The anonymity, the mystery, the opportunity, the adventure, the freedom......it's just too much goodness against issues like pollution, noise and crowd.


A. I would rather have my lungs full of smoke and dust then have it full of unsaid hidden desires.
B. I would rather have  all the noise outside on the road then have unwanted people crowd my brain with advice,suggestion,taunts, and comments!
C. And finally I would rather be lost in an anonymous crowd then be crowded by people I hardly care for!

This - A, B and C is the real pollution, noise and crowd that I would always guard myself against!

I love the city- Whether it's Bengaluru, Mumbai or Pune!
I just totally love it here!

I'm a child in your arms

Yesterday morning when I went for my tuition class, my teacher's son was getting ready for school. He's just 4 years old. He's usually playful around the house, greeting me whenever I enter the house, giving me a mischievous smile or simply shying and running away inside.

But the usually playful boy looked worried today. His eyes were set on the road and he stood fixed to the window, waiting. The moment his school van arrived, his eyes saddened. He turned to his mom and asked her, "Will I be back home from school maa? Will I see you again?", and his mom, my teacher, lovingly picked him up in her arms and kissed him on his cheek and assured him that he will be back home soon, that his friends are waiting for him in the van , that he will have a great time playing with them and then get back home to play with his maa.

That expression of worry in his eyes and his innocent questions made me realize that the girl watching him, 21 years elder to him, felt the same fear in her heart when she said a simple 'bye' to the one she cares. It's the same question her heart asks, "Won't you come back to me? Won't I see you again?"

Maybe some kid in the little boy's school played a prank on him and told him once he goes to school, he will never return home again.
Whereas my fear is not based on some hearsay, its based on experience....that people turn around too quickly, that nothing lasts forever.

Love feels so good because it takes one back to one's childhood.
One can be innocent and naive,
one can cry and laugh like an idiot,

one can sing the way one likes and move one's body like a mad man and call it a dance move.

And In this whole wide world,there is just one person with whom I can be the child I am. And I'm so scared to lose that child in me, I'm so scared to lose that comfort, those loving hugs that tell me every thing's alright, that kiss that tells me I'm still loved, I'm still wanted and that we will be together, like the promise of a mother....I would so like to believe this dream was true, that there can be someone other than a mother who cares as much...

My heart is torn between reality and the dream.
My heart is stuck between promises and hollow words.
But this undying hope, that things will turn around, refuses to die.
The child in me waits for my hand to be held and to be guided.

Maybe it's just a bad day at school, over stretched into days, months and years and that van which took me there will get me back home, and there will be someone who will be waiting for me, worrying for me and someone who will say, "Where were you all this time? I have been waiting!"

All images from Google Image Search.

It's just a little crush!

I woke up in the morning with a start and thought about my dream last night. "How foolish of me , I'm 25 and get these kinda childish dreams......really, I need to grow up!"

I don't like watching or playing cricket, have never been fond of that game or the people who play it. I do not know who makes the cricket team presently except for a few unignorable facts such as who's the Captain, that Sachin still plays and plays well, there are a few new boys like Kohli ( This I know because of the Fastrack Ad), and other gossip news such as Sreesanth had once cried because Bhajji slapped him , and other controversies that Bhajji gets himself into.

I happened to watch some of the matches in this World Cup, not because I wanted to, but because I just love to be around an excited group of people, and yes I love to scream!

In the last 2 matches, I watched this Indian batsman, and I did not know his name then, I cannot comment on how he plays because I don't understand the game. All I know is that he put up a rather impressive show at the finals and the next night I see him in my dreams!

The Dream:

We both are sitting in a Merry Go Round, in some sort of a fair and he is talking to me continuously about how exciting it was to win the world cup and be a part of the team and all this time we are going round and round, and that ride doesn't seem to come to an end nor does his cricket talk!

"Can you talk something other than Cricket?" I finally ask him.
"Why?"
"Don't you see I'm bored?"
"Are you an Indian?" he asks.
"What do you mean?"
"How can you not like cricket?"
"That way I also don't like fish but I'm a Goan!",I argue back.
"What else you want to talk about?", He asks me.
"Something that won't bore me!"
"You are not being clear. Tell me what you want to talk about..."

Guess what's my answer to this! Sheesh!

"You and me!"

The next ,I just saw his blank expression and then I woke up!

I wondered why I dreamt of him, of all the people, why Gambhir?

When was the last time I dreamt of a celebrity? Oh I had a huge crush on Leonardo Di Caprio when I had watched Titanic, and then it was Siddharth from Rang De Basanti( But he never really came in my dreams).
But that was way back in school, and now I'm no more a small girl, I'm a woman and I cannot believe I could fantasize a celebrity. After that dream, every time I do see this man on the TV , I find myself paying all the attention and a little smile lightens up my face!

I asked my sister the other day, " Guess who's my new crush? It's someone you know!"
She took a few names I might be interested in and I said, " Naah! He's not a regular guy....", With a kind of royal stint to the dialogue.
"And where did you meet this irregular guy?"

"It's Gautam Gambhir!", I ended the question round!
She lost the interest in the conversation knowing its useless to talk of such crushes, she laughed, "Best of Luck then!"

I feel foolish at times, but at other times, I feel its so much safer to have a crush on a celebrity....at least for a while. You know you don't get him, you know your heart won't be broken! It's a no risk situation! Something like parking the heart in a well locked garage!

I don't want to read about him on Wiki. Rather I ask about him to my friends, and some of them speak about him as if they know this guy personally. It's kind of funny, our own little joke, but for now it's working! Till I give my final exams this year end and I add that extra qualification to my name, I want to keep my heart safe and sound with Mr. Gautam Gambhir......., but hey, It's just a little crush ;-)

When do I get to live my life my way?

What does a "family" mean to my generation?
What does a "family" mean to my parent's generation?


What does a "friend" mean to my generation?
What does a "friend" mean to my parent's generation?

What does "My Life" mean to my generation?
What does "My life" mean to my parent's generation?

The answers are almost opposites!

Let me be frank here, I'm confused about why family is supposed to be more important than friends especially when it's  friends most of us are emotionally attached to. Family acts more like a bank, an ATM, financing our lives more than having an emotional connect with what we are.

In many cases, families play the role of a villain!
Stopping their children from doing what they exactly want to do!
All this in the name of protection and love!
Is it that friends care any less that's why they don't step in and stop?
Do they love us any lesser that's why they aren't against our wishes and desires?
Or is it that they know us better, that's why they support us?

Today, I might be taking some decisions because of what my family wants out of me.
Tomorrow, my children, will not do something , just because I want them to do so...I better have a reason for my advice for them!Even if I have a fair reason, they might not take my advice!

I find my generation  sandwiched!
Between my parent's generation ( who want us to listen to them) and my future generation ( who won't listen to us)....
Am I ready to be sandwiched between my parents having their way and my children having theirs?

When do I get to live life my way?
When do I get to live life my way?

Meeting the Real Howard Roark! ( Reading the Fountainhead Part 2)

He is slender, not too tall, straight jet black hair, sharp eyes and a mocking , smirk-like smile adorns his child like face! This isn't the first time I am seeing him, he is the son of a family friend, but we've hardly ever spoken. I only heard stories of him, stories of his rebellious nature, stories of his experiments with life...................but there wasn't a word I heard from him...he was quiet, always , as if someone had punished him and he wasn't to speak until permitted!

Something about his face was highly attractive, those deep black steady eyes showed self assurance and confidence....he walked straight, easily, and at his own pace, never too fast, never too slow.

Once, I tried to strike some conversation, he looked disinterested, I did not feel offended ( surprisingly! Because if any other guy had done that, I would never turn back and look at him a 2nd time......but this guy was different. Something told me it wasn't about ego or intention.....there was more and I had to know him )and decided I rather observe this guy and study him before talking to him again.

This man is not the conventional guy you meet everyday....for matters of privacy I cannot disclose his name. people laugh at him, because he doesn't do what they expect him to do.....he's his own boss. Everybody advices him about what to do in life, I doubt he's ever asked anyone for their opinions so he never insults them but he never abides them too and then people feel insulted ! That's why he is almost in everybody's bad books!

For a while I thought, which girl would ever be interested in a guy like this?? But upon having observed him for a few days and on a few occasions, i wondered, which woman wouldn't fall for him??

When he does decide to speak, all you can ever do is shut up and listen because his stories are like none other, his experiences of life - like something you've never imagined, never heard....and it's the stuff he's done, not some cooked up stories like you hear from most other guys.......
He quickly makes friends with guys,
and the villagers and yes children too,
For some reason, he always chooses which girls he will talk to, and once he does choose, he'll take her on a ride of a lifetime....

I admire men like these in whose company i feel different, whose auras give me a sense of the possibilities of human life and strength......he might be a no one to the world today.....but he's definitely someone amusing for me! He's not someone you meet and forget, but someone you remember for a lifetime........Whenever I sit down to write of a central, male character, its his face I see!

When I first decided to start blogging, my first blog was based on him. But I never could complete it, because I could never understand him fully. When I read The Fountainhead, just a few paragraphs about Howard Roark and the puzzle pieces fell into its place, it was alomost like finding the key to knowing this guy ...

Reading the fountainhead from that point onwards became much more interesting, because I could relate to it. I have met the "Peter Keating" types too, not one, but several of them.....they never make you feel good! Even if you are happy with them at a particular point, you can never trust them, because they are so scared of something.......they are always over burdened with finding responsibility and stability in life! I always look down upon these 2 things- Responsibility and Stability...because they spoil the essence of life, they kill the adventure in a man and make him nothing but a robot!

Fountainhead hasn't been an eye opener, in fact it is more like coming face to face with many emotions within me, which I always tried to hide, which I thought were bad...............Fountainhead only made me more comfortable with myself and my ideas!

Rebellious!! Who me??

One thing that almost all of us want to stay far away from is any kind of controversy!

And those who make controversies now a days are more of cheap attention hungry people!

We don't agree with many things that are happening around us, but we rather not questions the set norms than to attract the wrath of the society!

I say being Rebellious is good!

Rebellion which is done for a positive act is most needed in a society.

We need to stay away from the rebellion which is only done for the name sake!

Unfortunately what is happening is quite the opposite, people who should have shut their mouths are most vocal- there are many examples- Rakhi Sawant is the biggest Rebellious attention seeking woman I've seen on Indian television, closely followed by Mallika Sheravat ( who's not much heard of now a days) and the most rebellious woman of India- Shobha De!

Nothing or very little positive effect has ever come out of such people's actions- but they dare to be different, make their statements and hog our attention!

Are we getting used to such cheap useless rebels?
Are we really a thinking society? Do we have a higher awareness that we boast of?

Who was the last positive Rebellious person?
Who dared to speak the truth and stand up for what he/ she believed in??

Are rebellious people only found in history?

Aren't there enough reasons to start a rebellion anymore?

"Am I rebellious?
Would I like to change things?"

Rebellious!!
Who me??

Trust Me....

Mom told me never to trust anybody !

She told me its never worth trusting anybody other than your blood relations, cause they are the one's who care , they are the one's who'll always be there!

But when I fell on the hard school ground, it was another school mate I'd never met who gave me a helping hand!
When I scored terrible marks in math, it was my benchmate who put a hand on my shoulder and said," There's always a next time!"

When I came home and showed my marks, I got shoutings!
When I came home and showed I'd got hurt, I was told I have become too naughty!

Why is it that my close one's are never happy with me? I always wondered!

Whenever I did anything that made me happy- all my close one's were never happy about it!

And the saga continues.....

I wrote dialogues for a full lenth konkani film this september! All I got to hear when I came home was, " Is anybody going to know at least that you were involved in this film? who cares about your small name appearing somewhere in the credits?"

So who do I trust?
Who do I depend on?
People who encourage and support me? Who stand by me and share my happiness?
Or people who call themselves my caretakers and protectors but are never happy about anything I do???

The Best Professionals List

A professional Attitude is a rare skill I find in Goa. You end up paying people for below expectation services. They talk a lot, and give you an impression that you are in the best hands.....But Alas! On top of all this, if you question them about the kind of job they've done, they get offended!

So it becomes even more important to ackowledge those who do their job with utmost sincerity and who are an asset to the society!

The Best Professionals : 1st :

I keep several pets, and me and my Mum are able to take care of 3 dogs and 2 cats because we have a wonderful pet doctor! Dr. Jenny Viegas and her Husband Dr. Aneesh Viegas! Getting a good vet is really a difficult task. My aunt who stays in Mumbai took her cat to one of the best known doctor there, and he messed up the whole thing! It was the most common operation to spay the cat, God knows what the doctor did, within a few months the cat gave birth to 3 kittens!
My aunt was worried as to which organ of the cat the doctor actually removed if not the uterus.

I've spayed all my female pets, and not once after the operation/surgery have I had to worry about the pet!

Last month, my doctor was out of station for a month or so and me and mum were forced to consult a new doctor in the area. This too was a doctor couple! This new doctor , one Mrs Radhika Rao mislead me so much into a simple hair loss treatment of my 13 year old dog and made me pay a hafty Rs. 1800 for the treatment! The problem could be easily solved with a medicated bath, regular brushing and a multi vitamin for better coat!( actual cost Rs.500 max)

Most of these kind of people become doctors to make money, they have no respect nor any understanding of a pet owner. Every pet owner does not want to send his pet for a spa treatment , nor does he build a special A/C room just for his foreign breed dog!

Keeping a pet need not be a costly affair. Some people want to sell us products we dont need, and when a doctor is involved in such a business, its really cheap!

Best Professionals : 2nd:

My dance teacher, Ms. Lalan Desai! She's a worshipper of the art of dance and you can make out from the way she teaches dance, that she genuinely wants you to be a good dancer! There is no malice just simple art! This is so rare these days. There is so much competition, jealousy and rivalry that most teachers are least interested in the genuine teaching experience!

Getting a great teacher, someone who can guide you well is a rare chance!

Best Professional : 3rd:

Her name is Jabel! She works on our farms and also gives a helping hand for any other work if needed. She's always on time, never talks too much, Works efficiently and never complaints!

We all know how hard it is now a days to get servants and maids, and in this difficult world, Jabel comes as a breath of fresh air!

I love working with her, having her to help me in any work means that I am totally tension free! She always wears a beautiful smile and her work is tip top!

All these people listed above are thorough professionals! Their pay rolls, education and almost everything is uncomparable! But there is 1 skill where they are unbeatable- Their attitude at work place! No compromise, and total value for money!

There is so much to learn from everybody around. Jabel proves to the world that no matter what job you do, if you do it with utmost sincerity, it is always appreciated!

A heart felt THANK YOU to all these wonderful professionals!

The Secret Admirers

Every girl at least secretly wishes she has one!

I dont know about the male opinion on this issue..... but like every girl, even I find the whole concept of a secret Admirer highly fascinating.

Throughout school, I watched some of my close and beautiful girl friends receive letters and mails from their secret admirers! And I always yearned for that day when I would get the mail of my secret admirer!

Days passed by and it never happened in school!

When I reached higher secondary, there was a guy who passed messages to me through a friend of mine. Wolla! I was so damn excited! Here it is, finally happening! After a couple of weeks, the common friend decided it was time the 2 of us met.

I couldnt sleep the night before thinking this must be my true love, my dream boy! His language was beautiful and so was his poetry!

My head took a major shock the day I met him! No! He wasnt ugly or anything like that. In fact he was quite normal and well educated and intelligent! But I had lived in my dream world for far too long. My imagination just couldnt keep up with the reality facing me. I didnt know from where to flee the "supposed date"!

After that experience, I got up from my dream world! I somehow never could feel excited about the "secret admirers" again.

The whole thing can be quite scary actually! The secret admirer is a person who doesnt have the guts to come and approach you, he doesnt want to show himself because he's scared! that shows his self confidence is very low!


Strange as it may sound, every year I have 1 so called secret admirer mailing me- He never tells his identity! I never reply to his messages! Nor do I ever go to ask for his identity! He plainly wishes me on my B'day and on Valentines Day!

Let the mystery remain a mystery. For I know when it unfolds itself, its not as beautiful as I imagine it to be! The whole idea that somebody somewhere likes me and thinks of me is very reassuring! There's always so much fun in "not knowing" some things. After sometime, I know it will all stop! But till it continues, Let my secret admirer be the secret of my life!

spending weekends

Margao very rarely sees a dance recital of a famous dancer, or a Classical music recital of a well known singer! Once in 6 months does an artist of International repute step into Margao to show his talent!

But even then, the participation of the general public in cultural activities is below expectation!

What is our Goan public doing on weekends?
Why dont they feel the need to come out and be culturally enriched?

Most of them are stuck to their television sets! Either Watching IIfa awards or a film or some bakwaas serials.

The youth is busy with internet or computer games. Its raining now a days, or most of them are on Mont e Hill (drinking,smoking,wasting time).

Some go out for dinner, and most prefer lazing at home since there is a busy week coming up!

well! you can do what you like throughout the year, but at least once in 3 to 4 months, take out special time to introduce your children to rare skill and talent??!
Once in 6 months open your heart to rare beats and soul touching music!!

We are not a Metropolitan city! And the exposure here is minimum! Most of the times, I hear most people proudly saying " Goa has so much potential and Talent! Goan youth are not given the opportunity!" .

Do we take the opportunity when it comes? Or do we prefer to lazily sit at home and relax?

From when did Goans start thoughtlessly running behind money and jobs?
Now a days, the youth is only interested in those activities that can help him/her earn money!

India has so much to offer...... When are we going to understand the importance of our culture?
when some outsiders patents The Philosophy of Yoga? Or our classical dance styles? Our music? our Traditions?

Why do we give respect to our culture only when a foreigner thinks it is great? Cant we judge a talent on our own? Where is our high sense, high talent gone?

what?why?how?where?

Questions!

some people just love asking questions!

When I was a child mamma told me its good to ask questions, you learn more!

But is that the reason why people ask so many questions?

Why did you go there?
Why are you wearing this?
Why dont you tell me?
Why ? What? Where? How?

What took you so long?
What is your problem?
What is wrong with you?

What the F***!!!

There are very few times I am glad that someone asked me a question, because most of the times, people ask the 1st thing that crosses their mind!

And that 1st thing is something rediculous, most of the times!

On clothes:
The day I wear a saree, they ask me: Why are you wearing a saree today?

The day I wear jeans, they ask: Why jeans?

On career:

The day I got graduated in law, they ask: Why dont you practice law?

If they get to know I am learning dance, they say: Why at this age?


If I laugh at a joke, " What was so good about it?"

If I dont, " Why is your mood always off?"

When I come home late, " Why were you late?"

When I am early, " Why so early?"

When I dont tell I am going out, " Why dont you tell?"

When I do tell, " Where, When , How? Why?"



GODDDDD!

I so wished people asked questions in order to learn more. Not just to interfere in other's life!

There definately needs to be a special lesson in schools to teach the kids where to ask a question and where not to, What about, and what not about!

All these people never ask the government , why it didnt fulfill what it promised?
All these people never ask The criminals, Why? what? where? how?
They never feel the need to question a man who's cruel to kids, who's cruel to animals! Nor will they Question those who dirty the roads, who dont have any civic sense!

Question to learn more!
Question when someone goes wrong!
Question when you feel the pinch!
Question to make a positive change!

About Sexuality

I don’t understand why the west makes so much noise about sexuality! They love to make it into a major issue!

Now that they are bored of (over) sleeping with the opposite sex, they want to try out something new! So what do they do?.......They invent the story of a man born with an urge to love another man and vice versa.

I wonder from when these gay- lesbian issues started? And while a part of me thinks I don’t want to interfere into people’s sexuality problems, the other part says , “ well! These gays and lesbians are messing up our lives!”

Today they say same gender sex is ok! Tomorrow some other class of people will claim to enjoy an adult and child sex, some third class will claim human being to animal sex as perfectly normal!

These un-natural relationships are not ok! And they will never be! Gosh I hope India at least will never legalize same sex marriages!

What kind of a “trend” are we setting for our kids here? Tomorrow when my girl grows up she will have a choice to make- whether she wants to marry a boy or a girl? This is ridiculous! We are confusing our species here!

The Policy of Non Interference

It simply means that you strictly don’t go to interfere in other’s life and expect the same from the others.

Ever since I remember, I’ve been a strict follower of this principal. When I started out practicing this theory, a few times I erred, but that was mostly cause I cared about the people I interfered with. And then I realized, see? That’s how it starts! Everybody is sane enough and big enough to handle their own lives. Until and unless they ask for help, you don’t need to step in!

Somehow this is a principal not at all liked and accepted in the society that I am a part of. I’ve had my small share of life in Metro’s and I’ve loved the life because everybody follows this principal of non interference.

Every place- small or big has its own problems. And “ interference” is a No. 1 problem in Goa. You can’t really predict who won’t interfere with your life cause by and large – everyone does.

“Why don’t you wear your mangalsutra? Aren’t you married? Or is it simply because of style and fashion? But I tell you, you should wear your mangalsutra otherwise any men will start eyeing you!”

This dialogue was from a man I didn’t know but who knew my family well! My 1st few reactions were ( in my head) , “ what the hell is his problem? Until his wife wears a mangalsutra , why does he need to interfere and advise other’s wives? Is he attracted to me? Must be a MCP!”

There’s a bhashan I can give him on my theories of “why not to wear a mangalsutra!” but the question is , will he ever understand? What is the level of intelligence that I am dealing with over here?”

Its worthless talking to some people, and so I give a faint smile which clearly states, “Who are you? I don’t know you! Get lost!” and walk away!

“ Janaki you have become so fat! You look like an aunty!”
This dialogue from a woman who herself is no bigger than a stick! Men joke on her calling her a matchstick, and as flat as an airport (for obvious reasons!). As for me- I’ve always been a “khate peete Gharane ki Ladki!” – not fat, not thin!

I have a 1000 comments lined on such people, but I choose only 1, “hey, long time! Where were you all this time? In Somalia?”

People call me rude and outspoken!
I am none of the above!
People fail to mention how rude they are to others, how their tongues waggle all the time- they never mention.

There’s a saying, “you don’t need to tell a balding man he’s losing his hair! He already knows!”

But in our society our people make it a point to remind others of painful truths, remind others of memories they most want to forget.

Recently one of my close friend lost her 10 month old baby to an accident that happened at home. When I went to see her, there were women who were talking about how the mother was careless and what she shouldn’t have done. They were also blaming a person directly responsible for the death of the child!

An accident is an accident! It’s an unfortunate sudden incident! Which mother and which person would want an innocent child dead?

I wanted to shut the mouths which were making things worse for my friend! Blames, what if’s are not things to discuss at such a delicate moment in somebody’s life!

What is it that makes people to interfere in other’s lives?

1. If its someone close to you- best friend, mother, father, sister- who’s asking personal questions- its because of love and care. Till an extent, they have a right to interfere but that doesn’t mean they keep eating your head with queries. Why’s, how’s, where’s……… come on- show some trust sometime! It’s necessary.
We don’t have all the answers all the time! We are as confused as the person questioning us! And at that point all we need from our loved one’s is support and faith in us!

2. Most people interfere through “comments”- that is the safest and sure shot way to hit the person where it hurts!
Such people deserve a back answer which is 3 times more rude then their comment so that the next time they think of commenting on you- they think a 100 times.

3. Enquiring questions, such as, “what are you doing now?” “Why are you not doing this?” “Where were you between so and so dates?”
If the person asking is not too close, my answer- “why do you want to know?”
They mostly answer, “just like that!” . Then even I say, “ just like that!”
If the person asking is someone close, then explain if you want to- but personally I feel its best to keep some things to yourself- especially if your ideas are a bit maverick!


But having said all this, even after using all tricks and all the ways to keep people at a distance…. I haven’t completely succeeded. When one understands and shuts his mouth, a new one appears out of nowhere!

Dealing with family members is by far the most difficult task. And especially if they are the kind who don’t understand mavericks then one is in a complete soup!

Of course, like every other theory this 1 too has its weak points.

1. “Non- interference” creates distances amongst close people if followed too strictly.
2. In societies too, it creates an atmosphere where nobody cares about the other. So while most of the times you really want to keep people at a distance, there might be a few delicate moments in your life when you need everybody!
3. Interference or rather care for others is what makes us human! If practiced positively and with a good intention then nobody minds such interferences!

“Beta you are already 26, how long will you wait? Then you will have problems in having kids. You should get married as soon as possible!”
These are the dialogues most single Indian women must be hearing every time they step inside their house.

I’ve grown up looking at women. Whenever their husbands come home from work, they serve him a hot cup of coffee; they immediately get to work to cook a dinner in spite of the fact that they’ve returned from work themselves.

As soon as you are married in a typical Indian home, your responsibilities go on doubling. Your 1st responsibility is the over grown kid- your husband. Their mothers treat them like total kids and expect you to carry on the tradition. He needs to be given his clothes, his breakfast, his shoes- he cannot do anything on his own! And his wife who’s a couple of years younger to him ( in most cases) has to play his mother’s role!

( I still don’t understand why men make a huge deal about getting married! It should be the women who should run away from marriages and enjoy their single lives!)

You hardly step out of the Mandap at your wedding and you hear an old grandma chirpily wishing/ suggesting- “we would soon see a grandson on your 1st wedding anniversary photograph!”

An Indian wedding is usually a call of bad luck to many Indian women.

Don’t we have wishes and aspirations?
Even we want someone to take care of us for a change! We want to be cared for and mothered!
We want to see the world with a mind free from tensions and responsibilities!
We want to fly!
We like to fly!

Financially, you start saving the moment you get married- for the child! It’s like living an entire life only for the children! It’s a life of a slave, wherein you don’t enjoy anything and keep the best for your children.

Loans for children’s education!
Insurance for children’s health!
You are indebted throughout your life to the people who took care of your kids at some point of time!
Search for schools!
Requests to big men if you don’t get admissions!
Thousands of visits to the temple praying for your child’s wellness!
So on and so forth!

And while you are busy slogging and working…..even before you know it, they’ve become big enough to get married! Then you are again tensed about their marriages, setting up their lives and families and the cycle goes on!

Is this all our life is made up of ?
Having children is the only reason we get married?
Aren’t we circling in loops for centuries and for generations? Our grandparents did it, our parents did it, we will do it and some day force our kids to go through the same cycle!

Perhaps this is the reason our soul needs moksha! To get out of this cycle of life- to get out of this boredom!

Can’t we attain moksha while we are alive?
Just break out of this cycle! Do something different! Attain a new high for human life- think differently! All this is only possible , if:-
1. You don’t get married
2 You don’t get married
3. You Do Not Get married!

School life

school life is a memory of so many 1st's.....

1st friend

1st best friend

1st crush

1st shouting from a teacher

1st fight with a friend

1st time facing a failure- whether by losing a competition, scoring less marks or making a wrong decision.

1st time tasting success- my 1st play which i wrote and directed and became a big hit with the students, scoring full marks in maths ( this is a once in a lifetime achievement!)

1st heart break!

1st team games

1st stage performances

1st dance

what were your 1st's?

What is a blog

why do we blog? why is each blog different then the other?

are the blogs a continuity or the reflections of 1's personality?
if i take my blog, i write about all the things tht matter to me, my blog is a reflection and a continuity of my personality.

so is di's and sharvani's.

isnt a blog a place to share ideas? if it is used that way, then definately that's a positive use. but i wonder how many really use a blog for the right reasons?

i never knew blogging would be so much fun. i dont understand why i kept myself away from this medium for so long! for some time i wasnt really sure whether i should let myself be free on the web, knowing my style of writing- a bit too free, a bit too revealing! but hey, that's what makes each writer different!

i like this hobby.....i really cannot do without putting something up these days. not necessarily big ideas and big posts with big thinking, even small day to day passing thoughts like this one which i would usually put in my diary makes for a good post!

its so much easier to connect to people this way.
its so much easier to be heard!
so much easier to be creative- nobody to stop you, nobody who'll choose which articles are better and worse.

every school student should be given a project to maintain a blog. wow! if i had that sort of a project i would love it! :)

Roadies and TV

This is 1 show I never miss, I don’t watch anything on TV, but roadies. I don’t like the people who participate nor am I fond of maghu, but definitely they’ve got the formula right- to attract the youth. Maybe it’s their tasks, the politics and the battle for survival- the show of raw human nature that is highly exciting!




I’ve watched almost all their seasons, except 2 and 3- which I just got to watch half way. It freaks me out to see the auditions and the way youngsters of our country are so desperate to make it big! Why are all of us wanting a short cut? Why all of us want the glamour world? Are we ready to do something only if it gives us recognition?

All of us have become so shallow! In thinking and in all our actions. I sometimes hate myself for liking the show cause I am watching all fools! Have you seen those girls? That Nhambhavi and PAnmol o whoever of last roadies? What the hell do these girls think of themselves? Asmaan se tapke ho kya? Cheap- that is the word to describe them!


Why can’t we have youth shows where we get to watch young individuals working in making our country a better place?

The same goes for Page 3 reports! So much about those half naked dumb girls! Not a word about hard working, striving people! Why have we become so cheap? We want to see the entire wedding of Abhi- Ash on TV , but don’t care to switch on “The big Fight” of NDTV or some nature related knowledgeable shows of discovery.

And about those K serials? Is this what we want our children to watch and grow up with? I’ve seen so many households watching those 3rd grade serials with their youngsters! Do we care about our future generation or not? We can’t even choose our entertainment- and here, we are expected to choose the right government!


God bless this country and its people!