Happy Belated Birthday Dear Blog!

Dearest Sincro Station,

Your mommy is too busy to care, sorry, I forgot your birthday!
On 7th April you became 2 years old!

I still remember that day when you were born. I don't think I ever shared that story with you. I was young and restless, trapped and in pain. I wanted to express, I wanted to scream and shout and run and hide and never ever let anybody catch me, never ever let anybody hurt me.....but it was too difficult at that time to just be myself and come out in the open and tell the world, "Look... this is me! You like it or not, I don't give a shit about what you think!"

At that time my words were  limited to my diary, and they were a tearful story of the caging of my soul!  It was Sharvani, my best friend who introduced me to the world of blogging. She had her own blog, my sister too has her own blog, but somehow I was too scared to start one, too doubtful about what I should write?

"Write anything you want!"
Sharvani showed me what she wrote, what di wrote, what some other random unknown people wrote....

I thought and thought that whole night.
The next morning at 8 am, I had my Bharatnatyam class and that's where I found my 1st blog post "Guru".

Thanks to the solid support of friends and faithful readers,I got a good response and I kept writing, experimenting, being myself and opening up to the world.

Sometimes I didn't know what to do with you...I was confused, I was lost. But most of the times, you have been the reason for making many of my days, you have been the reason for boosting my confidence and my imagination and the reason for me to keep my faith in my dreams!

Today, after 2 years, you have become such an important part of my life, that even after cutting every other connection to the virtual world , I couldn't stop caring for you, you are mine, and there's no-one better than me who can nurture you.

I hope you grow up, slowly and steadily and I hope we will make a wonderful team who can entertain ourselves and the world!

Wish you a very Happy Birthday SS!

Thanks to the almighty: i.e Blogger, for giving me this wonderful experience!

Love you always,
Muuaahh!

Mommy J

P.S: As a Birthday Present , I will gift you a new look, and I hope you will like it!

A Note For the Readers

Dear Readers,

If you can help me out with a new look, new template , an exciting new widget maybe, i would really be thankful because I'm really bad with these sort of technical things.

I'm waiting for your suggestions and comments, so that I can gift my baby the look as soon as possible :-)

Love

J

Random Letter to someone Part 6 ( Falling in and out of love)

Dear Someone,

I still remember the 1st time he SMS'd and the 1st time he called, I was least interested in his SMS's and the calls....I hardly spoke, many times did not bother replying to messages....but he pursued till he got my full attention, he pursued till I was convinced that he was genuine, and just when I relaxed.....he dropped the chase!

Now when I call or SMS, I get the same treatment I gave him once. Just the reasons are different. The reason I once ignored him is because I did not want to be his toy, whom he uses to his heart's desire and throws away. The reason he drops the chase is because he doesn't find things working out for us any more.

This and so many heartless, senseless reasons boys give girls every single day and break their hearts! I know of girls who play with boys hearts too, I wouldn't say I disapprove, but oh I hate it when it happens to me. I hate it when someone plays with my heart, I hate it when he makes it sound like its no big deal!

Damn! It is a big deal!

Why can't people be consistent in their words for once? Why do people promise when they don't have the courage to make things happen? Why do people take the liberty to change someone's life and then leave without saying a goodbye? Why do people make others dependent on themselves, only to snatch back that soothing hand some day?

I have seen a few couples who have made things work out for them in spite of all the odds. I've seen them cry away nights, it was easier for them at that point to drop the relationship and start out again, but they hung on, they made it work!

Every relationship has its trials and its errors. Nothing's ever perfect! Who wants perfection? Perfection is boring...a little bit of spice is always required to make life interesting! But so many people run away from the slightest trouble and pain, the slightest challenge and they shudder and they declare their defeat!

It's okay if you are wrong, as long as you do it with conviction and courage! How is it possible to take the right step always? But running away?? Why do people run away from a situation? Why do they back off?

There are a few tricks in politics, maybe this is one of those. When you are against a situation you aren't very sure of, you rather fight a little and then disappear into the darkness than keep on fighting till the end, till your complete defeat. Its called the Guerrilla warfare.

While the picture is all rosy and nice in the beginning, towards the end of it, all that remains is pure warfare. And then on, its all fair......running away, hiding, pursuit , public displays....whatever you choose....Its fair!~

Love

J

Random Letter to Someone ( Part 5- Abt Dating, seduction and possibilities)

Dear Someone,

Today morning I came across an absurd site while browsing for information. ( I know I've left my story: "The village witch", halfway. The trouble is the kind of twist I want to give . It requires substantial knowledge of Wicca or at least some understanding of the art , less I make logical errors and write a story that's unbelievable.)

So while browsing for info on Wicca I came across this site---------> www.realman.in , and it totally caught me by surprise as its a site which boasts of training men on the Art of Attraction and seduction. What more? It conducts workshops in my city!

I carefully went through the contents of the site and let me confess, I found it interesting! This is what the film "Hitch" is based on. I don't understand what made the female lead go mad on Hitch ( Will Smith) for teaching men to hook up the woman of their dreams!! I mean come on!! Isn't it better for us women to be in the company of a man who knows how to treat us, how to make us laugh and entertain us rather than accompany a nervous wrack??

We women long for the man of our dreams throughout our lives- Someone with the right looks, the right manners and the right words! But how many times do we really come across a man who knows how to treat us?? I know many women must be thinking that it's better to have the company of a man who is himself than a man who's been taught to behave in a particular way! But Hello?? Haven't all of us learnt the ways to talk and to walk, through some or the other medium? This workshop is just a step ahead of self teaching! This workshop is where the experts tell you what is the best for you, so what's the harm?

I shared the link with some of my friends and I got different reactions. Men who are confidant of their art and approach think this is bullshit! Some women think this kind of thing is cheap! ( "Yuk! How desperate can you get to just have the company of a woman?? Cheap!") , Some other women thanked god! (" Ohh! The concept finally makes way into India! At least now, we'll have more fun on dates!"), some men with whom I shared the link thanked me for sharing the info with them! My personal opinion is, "Now that "Hitch" is here, when will "Speed Dating" make its way into Indian Society??

I'd really like to meet the well groomed men who know what to say and do and who don't shy away from the truth that our whole life is actually just a game of attraction! There's nothing cheap about the universal truth, that seduction is and always will be something that will capture our minds!

For those men and women who want to make this topic an issue of ego, vulgarity and treat it as something negative, yeah you can have your way- Please go ahead and complain, criticize and laugh on those who are trying to learn something new. No good ever comes out of laughing on others anyway, so yeah! waste your time! Others, if you find the link helpful, great going and wish you all the best!

Love,

J

Random Letter to Somebody Part 4 (Abt: Boredom)

Dear Somebody,

I get so surprised with myself when I feel bored! Especially because the time when I feel bored is exactly the time when Life starts turning around......So , in a way I'm confused about my feelings. Am I bored? Or am I anxious of what lies ahead?

There are loads of films I haven't watched,

loads of books I bought and haven't read yet,

magazines that I haven't gone through,

a dozen exam papers I have to write still,

a dozen calls I've to make
etc etc etc....

But I don't do any of it!
Because for a while I want to feel empty!
I want to empty my mind of all the thoughts and all the worries and stop thinking for just a moment.....
1 moment....

and that would be the greatest moment of all!

I think that's what the aim of meditation is...to learn to empty your mind for just a second.....

So there it goes, I simply refuse to do all of the above activities for 5 days! I don't find it interesting, nor energising....they are just activities to do on day to day basis. I want to add something more to my every day.....I guess that something more is called "Peace of Mind".

I'm off to the Ashram now...where else can I learn to find peace of mind?
I want to take a break from the Internet, the TV, the chatting, the career and the ambitions....all starts looking useless at a point of time.
Hope the Ashram works its magic once more ....that's the dose I need to keep me going for the rest of the year.

You should try it too.
And yes, go alone. You suddenly realise how dependant you are on people.

Love
J

*Lost* ( Random letter to somebody part 3)

Dear Somebody,

I just hate this part of my life's story.......it's when I feel myself going into the dark corners, going deeper into unknown depths, hitting rough surfaces.....its when I feel alone, its when I feel abandoned....

Why do I feel abandoned?
Why do I feel as if I have nobody I can call my own?
Nobody I can depend on?
No-one I can trust?

Whether I'm surrounded by people at a party or playing a card game with my friends,
I know that when the time runs out, people will pack their bags and leave...
They'll leave...
They'll leave with their loved one, they'll leave with the one they call their own....
And it's just me with the cards, me with the empty glasses...
Maybe sometimes I will have some company...but I'm so sure he won't last my lifetime!

I have this strong desire to lock all my friends in a room and keep them with me forever!
I want to tell them.... "No! You can't leave....Not until I let you!"
I cook for my friends sometimes and I love to hear their happy chatter while I cook with all my love...
But I know, no matter what I do, They will leave...they have to....

I'll change cities, and places and I'm so sure I'll make new friends....
But at a point, all this makes no sense!
You accept someone as your own one day and the next day he walks away...
And you are left searching for a new friend, a new house, a new set up...
And just when I know that there is someone who'll hold on to me,
Just when it's time he tries to hold my hand tight,
I swiftly pull out,
I back off,
I slip from his hands and disappear into the darkness...into the same dark corners I hate so much, I let myself slip into the depths of the unknown and hit the rough surfaces.....I love this part of my life's story, or do I hate it?

*Lost*
*Lost*
*Lost*

J

Will we meet again?

A few times I've met people I would have loved to spend some more time with...would have loved to talk some more, share some more, know some more....but there wasn't any time and I'd to say an unwilling goodbye, hoping to meet them again sometime in life!

This used to happen a lot when I was younger, usually meeting people at camps, sharing addresses and phone numbers and trying hard to keep in touch while the distance tore us apart. And then I reached a point when I stopped sharing my contact details. I had become so sure of never meeting them again . I would always live in the moments and enjoy the company of the person while we had the time together.

But this sunday, I was in for a pleasant surprise!
There was a friend request from a friend I'd met over 10 years ago.
I remember, it was a 1 day trek at Doodhsagar waterfall. And I remember walking the whole stretch talking to him about school, about sports, about environment and friends and studies. We were both in 9th standard then, we went to different schools but lived in the same city.
We never met or contacted each other after that trek.

He was a good looking boy and I remembered him for a long time.
When I reached college, I wondered where he would be now.
I wondered , does he remember me as much as I remember him?
All I had was a photograph we had clicked.
I though I was being foolish. I thought I was being childish!

But seeing that familiar face on my facebook brought a smile to my face, it took me down the memory lane, took me 10 years back into that forest, on that narrow mudroad.... And in a second I realised that yes! He thought of me as much as I did. He liked me as much as I liked him. And though a lot of time has passed by and we have grown up , the friendship remains fresh as we left it!
We chatted, caught up on each other's lives and how we are and what we studied or are studying currently.
This has been the longest chat conversation I've had on facebook so far.
And we once again decided to keep in touch, and said a neat goodbye.

A few days back, I attended a camp wherein I met a lot of interesting people from different countries and many more from my own country. And though we are trying our best to keep in touch through facebook and through mails, I always wonder.......

Will we meet again?

A Letter for every Goan! ( For Green Mind,For Green Goa)

Dear Goan,

I'm riding in a boat, in a canal called Cumbarjua, far off in the interiors of Goa, to places I never explored in my 25 years of living and growing up in Goa. I'm on a mission to spot a croc here, there are around 28 Adult crocs spotted in this area, there's no formal report or document on how many are here though! And I've been lucky enough to spot 1....a large one...the largest I've seen so far...after one and a half hours of riding in the waters.....its a 10 feet big adult croc!
" You all are lucky to spot that one!" Says Dr. Manoj Borkar who's guiding us on this field trip.

It's crazy how Goa always hypnotises me with her beauty!
It's crazy how a few days back I reluctantly stepped in Goa on a vacation I did not expect much from and ended up attending a 6 day long International Camp on Climate Change organised by the British Council.

And while a part of me is making full on plans of breaking every tie with Goa,
Through this camp and its field trips Goa screams at me to not turn my back on her, she longs for my attention, she asks me to do my part for being her daughter!

Mining is eating Goa, and so is the careless tourism!
Goa still seems like a virgin land from far off...but you dig into her a bit deep and you see the wounds....perhaps those that will take a very long time to heal!

There's a need for the Goa Government and the people to have a green mind and to be eco sensitive to understand the problems of Goa and to come up with solutions. The integrity of the people of Goa and the policy makers is highly questionable. And if such an attitude continues, Goa is heading for a big disaster!

India is so obsessed with economics, that economics has become our only measure for success. But for a land as rich in biodiversity as India, we need to keep a balance between economics and the ecology.

A few years back I took up to organising camps for school kids so that they become aware of the situation and I have great faith in our next generation...They have the courage to stand up and talk about issues that at some point, my generation lacks!

Solutions are many, but are we ready to make the change? Are we ready for the change?
We Indians are so stuck in our cocoons of culture that we are bound by our senseless Do's and Dont's. We are stuck in our stereotypes!

From now on, I'll write a post, once a month about the solutions to each of Goa's or India's problems. Solutions that have been adopted by some country or some Indian state. Let's not talk only of problems anymore, let's talk about solutions now and let's show the courage to implement the solutions in our day to day life!


Those of my readers, friends, well wishers who are willing to make a change to their surroundings and protect the environment, please get in touch with me at jsincro@gmail.com and I shall put you in touch with people who can help you, guide you in matters concerning our environment.

Let's do our bit for our motherland!
Just one's.......please!!

Hoping for a positive response from educated  individuals!

Life moves on... ( Random letter to someone Part 2)

Dear Someone,

Not that any of my days have been bad this year.........in fact they have been GOOD!
It's  Gooooooood! (Remember Jim Carrey style in Bruce Almighty?)

And Yesterday was a particularly GOOD DAY!

I'd gone to Roshni's house yesterday. She's giving the same professional exam as me.
We were studying together. This is after such a long time that I'm studying with someone. And it so felt like I'm back to school life! She has this very cute house with 2/3 levels of terrace and a mini terrace garden. We sat outside on one of the terrace studying all day. It felt so good to sit under the bright blue sky and study. We studied from morning 9.30 to evening 5.30 pm. (Wohha)With mini breaks in between and ending the day with a game of badminton! Perfect!

I felt nostalgic....it brought memories of some long lost forgotten faces. I stood on the terrace thinking, trying hard to remember....who was it that I've spent so much time with in my childhood? I remember she had a house similar , with multiple levels of stairs which I used to love to climb and jump down from.....I remember we had played a lot of games on those stairs, and I've  fallen on them, injured my leg and gone home limping on many occasions.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't remember who she was.....but that Dejavu feeling kept lingering on me throughout the day. I got back home, a bit tired but a lot more happy. Not just because I'd studied so much and covered a lot of portion but also because I'd a good time. At the end of the day, I told one of my friend that I feel as fresh as a school kid! As if I've started my journey into education just now and I can and want to go on....I want to say," I'll become an Inspector, or maybe a school teacher or a Detective!" Nothing is impossible! Nothing's beyond reach!

And then today morning I woke up early...made my breakfast and as I sat sipping my tea, that face I've been trying to search in my memory appeared in front of my eyes. Her name is Sheetal! And she was my best friend throughout my childhood. I've spent so much time with her playing....I don't remember playing so much with anybody else. And for a while I was speechless! How could I let her go from my life? I've been so busy with life and at times I messed up so royally, coming out of that mess took all my attention that I lost these jewels on the way......and I did not make any attempt to get back to them.

Today I'm going back home, we have a family function this weekend. If I want, I can get her number within seconds and give her a call. I don't know if she's angry with me or whether she'll feel that I'm faking a friendship now. I don't know if she's the same girl anymore, I don't know if she'll find me totally changed as well! I don't know if we both will be okay with this changed new us!All I know right now is...I had a great friend called Sheetal and I'm not in touch with her anymore....for whatever reason, I wouldn't blame either of us because that would mar all the good memories that I've of her.

We lose some people in the course of life,
We decide to drop some others out,
Some others we meet by chance and we stick to them,
And a very few are destined to be together!
Only time can tell what's the fate of each relationship.
Whichever way you meet or depart,
Life moves on.... It has to move on!

Isn't it??


LOve

J

Welcome December!

A major part of me has become a weather man for my best friend in Goa. Reporting the weather conditions almost everyday.
The Reason?
The amazing climatic conditions offered by Bengaluru!

For people who haven't lived in hot sweaty coastal areas, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. But after spending my whole life sweating back there in Goa, Bengaluru feels like heaven!

After staying here in Bengaluru the whole year, I'm wondering what's so good about Goan climate that we locals should be proud of?

Goa is well known for the sun,the sand and the sea!

True!
But it makes sense when you reap the benefits of such a locale!
It makes sense if you hit the beach everyday, play on the sand,swim in that clear sea water and bask in the sun.

But my whole life, I was hardly able to do it.

1st: Most locals avoid the beach because of the number of tourists on the beach.
All goans inherently hate Outsiders( We prefer the foreigners to Indian tourists for the obvious reasons being :
A: Foreigners Expose! .....And they say a Hello and they smile!
B: They don't dirty our land!
C: They don't act crazy like they're free after serving prisontime!

Actually, we hate crowds and We love exclusivity.......

That's Bullshit!

The truth is most Goans just don't know to enjoy the beach...we'll never think of graduating to bathing in the sea from making sand castles and taking walks on the beach. We will only watch the foreigners in their bikinis and on their bicycles, we will never even dream of doing it ourselves atleast once in our lifetime....The Reason?
A. Most of us do not have the Bikini figures!
B. Some of us who are blessed with the bikini figures are forced to think...." Log kya sochenge? Yeh samaj kya kahega?"
C. We are boring, lazy and uncreative.....We just don't know to have a good time! We rather sit in a shack and drink a Beer!

The conclusion?
Come summer,come winter....Goa is hot!
Season after season, you go through life in the same fashion.......without learning how to swim, without feeling the clear sand all over you,without enjoying the weather and ultimately your life!

Well!
We Indians shy away from exposing but we love to drape ourselves with lots of clothes...so for that reason cold climate is suitable!
Bengaluru right now is cloudy, windy and cold!

Some of the activities I can think of doing in such weather are:

A. Make a cozy bed with lots of pillows and just dive in! If you have someone along, even better!

B. Pick up a favourite novel, make a hot chocolaty drink, sit in the balcony or on the terrace and enjoy the book and the cold weather draped in a warm shawl/sweater!

C. Roam the city...go on foot in local markets and do some shopping!

D. Meditate in one of the many well maintained parks offered by the city. Or take a walk Or play an outdoor game!

E.  Put on your favourite music and listen......winters are more related to soft, romantic music...so that should be your pick....in case you are confused!

F. Write!

Well! This is just a list of things I can think of doing alone......if there's company, the list is endless!

Make a campfire one particularly cold winter night, call your friends and have a BBQ party on the terrace Or a nice singing session Or  a Story Telling Session....even better if they are Horror stories!

Or a simple Sky Gazing Session!

A few days back we spotted a Huge Halo/Ring around the moon created by ice crystals in the atmosphere.

It really felt like a huge spaceship in the sky with the clear full moon in the middle. We called all our friends and asked them to either join us or watch it on their terraces.

For now,

I picked up my laptop and decided to follow option E and write!

Some of the things you want to avoid doing in such lovely weather is sit indoors and study and that's what I'm doomed to do these days....Well! No worries.....Winter's shall continue longer than my exams so I won't miss the fun!

For the very 1st time in my life....... I welcome the real winters with open arms! Of course snow fall would have completed the picture but that would also ruin so many other plans by limiting freedom of moment.....for now, this is pretty good!

A Random Letter to someone!

My Dearest Someone,

Well! A lot of things are happening around, as usual. Just that I don't write about it because I purposely don't log in, or I end up wasting a lot of time, doing some totally useless (sometimes useful) research on wiki and google.If there was some more time I could have come up with so many wonderful characters and stories.....I will do that...but later! Sometime in the new year...Jan 2011.

Hey, Do you know that I'm studying a lot now a days? I'm 25 and I'm surprised with myself that I still enjoy studying. When I was in 10th std I'd once decided ''Graduation''...that's it! No more!
But look at me here....I want to go on...study new subjects...take up a challenge, find a teacher, take her scolding, feel useless, score really low marks maybe and wonder what's wrong with my brain and its capacity... ..but I want to be a student...not just till I complete this course...but throughout my life!
I am a student at heart...I love to learn, anything, everything......

Hey,about something that happened with me : The other day, there was this man on a scooter who followed me while I was walking to my class and grabbed at my jacket. I really don't know what he was upto. He then went ahead ,stopped his bike and kept looking at me. He was wearing a helmet, so I did not see his face. It took me 15 seconds to get myself out of the ''Freeze'' stage! Yeah! That's what happens to me when I feel threatened......earlier, when I was younger, this Freeze stage would take forever...I could do nothing about it...but with time, and bitter experiences, I learnt...and I pulled myself out of it. I quickly made a call to a friend and held it to my ear and took out the pepper spray that was in my bag. The man watched me for around a minute and then left. I walked as fast as I could to my class...and when I reached there....I started trembling! Because I was aware the whole time that my pepper spray could do no harm to that man with the helmet on...and I was aware of my weaknesses and I thought about situations that could happen, that have happened with other girls and women....what if it was a van which had stopped by? Am I strong enough to fight 2 to 3 men?


There are these times when I feel so threatened from the world...I feel attacked. And I've had more than a few experiences, wherein either nobody was around to help me, or that even when I raised an alarm, nobody came for help!It has happened so many times with me in Goan buses. Goan buses are the worst transport services I've ever experienced so far.They pack in people like we are some goods to be transported. There are no separate compartments for men and women. I wonder what the government has been doing about this all these years...useless people all of them!

In these buses, its an everyday event to have your butt pinched or ass slapped or be touched at some other place and not even know who did it! One such time I raised an alarm and shouted at a man, the man shouted back at me, backed by the conductor who asked me to Behave myself! Their argument was, if I can not handle a crowd, then why am I travelling by a public transport..? Girls like me should always travel by private vehicle!

Now I've accepted this reality as a part of life. It's not just these men who misbehave with women, mind you. But also those who consider women as 2nd class citizens. Who despite of an education and a degree, do not know how to treat a woman.

At times I see my soul separate itself from my body. These real sick men can only try to mess with my body and my emotions but they can never touch, never reach,never hurt my soul! And then I realised, that even if I was really hurt badly by one of these sick men, in some bad way....maybe physically,emotionally,sexually........I would still survive, because my soul is too strong, too adamant to let go of life!


Oh Well! Those were some really serious paragraphs, weren't they?
It's just that this thing happened recently so it's still fresh in my mind, and it brought the memory of all the old times.
What really helped when I got back home was a reassuring hug from a close friend....
sometimes a jaduki jhappi is all you need when words can't help!
Oh what would I do without friends?
Nothing!

Hmm......What else?It's getting late and tomorrow night is Diwali! I am going to make some Goan dishes for my friends.....I've never cooked those before....but I'm sure my friends will understand and accept and finish the food! :-)

That's it for now,
will get back with more news as and when time permits,
Take care,
And hey...in spite of all that I said....I still love life!
So don't worry about me, I'm fine and Rocking!

Love
JSincro

( Please Note: 
To the Reader of this letter, 
You can be that someone and write to me. One sentence or a real long mail.........anything you would like to say,share,express....just like you would ,to a pen friend maybe?
I really love to read letters. 
So Your responses are most welcome and awaited!)

Ami Gemini!

From the moment I've grown up enough to try and understand the world....I've always wondered why I am the way I am and have never come up with the right answer or explanation except one- I am a Gemini!

I have been amongst those who don't really believe in zodiac signs and astronomy, predictions and at times even the existence of God. But whenever life was turning upside down and there was no way to understand what was happening with me, I found solace in reading the behavioral traits of my zodiac sign!

Gemini- The 3rd astrological sign of the zodiac is shown by a symbol of twins!
June is the Geminian month , also happens to be my favorite month!

When I read Linda Goodman's book, I found Gemini's to be the most interesting of all the zodiac's.

For one, I have a dual personality, sometimes even more than 2. I can very well "act" to be 2 totally different types of people in the same day, back to back
- 1- a very shy, quiet, sari clad Indian woman and
2- a very extrovert, giggling , outgoing modern girl!

I'll go out for a function at 7 pm in a sari and at 10pm I'll be in some club dancing away the night!
In real I may not have been any one, at times I am true to both these characters- it all depends on the mood and the situation I suppose.

The worst outcome of being a Gemini is the fact that people find it difficult to understand and comprehend a Geminian. Especially the opposite sex. If you have a Geminian girl friend, that too one brought up with a free soul ( combined with the fact that Gemini is an air sign) you are doomed! One day she will be happy beyond measure , and there might not be even a reason for her happiness. The next day her mood is completely off, that too might be for no apparent reason!

The best thing about having a Geminian Girlfriend, they say, is that you get many for 1! You might not have an idea about how versatile a Geminian woman can be- Flirtatious, shy, traditional, modern, intellectual- she's all in one!

In my personal experience, I go along well with fellow Geminians. In general, Most Scorpions are my trusted friends- there are other zodiac signs but I don't have too much experience beyond just 1 person in each of those zodiac's who happen to be my close pals!

It takes me great difficulty to get along with Capricorn's and Libran's! ( My sister happens to be a Capricorn and it's tough on both of us to come to an agreeable platform!)

In short here's how I get along with different zodiacs:

Capricorn: Diagonally opposite to my sign. Opposites attract but this is a lethal combination! Stay out! :-)

Aquarius: Most astrology books say gemini's are perfect for Aquarius and vice-versa and I've seen this combination work for a friend of mine.... personally I've got along well with a few of them.

Pisces: We are cool!

Aries: We are cool but might need a mediator!

Taurus: The bull is fine with me as long as I don't mess with it, if I do, it sure kicks! ;-)

Gemini: My species! I understand them well, they understand me well! But when we both have the same things on our minds- disaster spells!

Cancer: Ummm.......We both want different things out of life, so it's best to keep safe distance!

Leo: I get along well with them as long as I let the lion walk the way he likes, and I've never crossed them so they are quite protective and nice to me!


Virgo: I don't understand them quite well to get too close!

Libra: They always like to keep the balance and I'm always out of balance, we can't stand on the same plane unless one of us is okay  falling off!

Scorpio: My buddies! They are quiet, listening types, understanding, good friends, very trustable! Supposed to be a very flirtatious sign but with me they are always friendly!

Sagittarius: Blunt and frank! I like these people cause they speak their minds and they never show you what they are not.




If your life is dull, boring and monotonous, go find a Gemini!
They always have something or the other on their minds!

If you want to learn more about human psychology and the working of a human brain, then I think a Geminian can just show you how difficult the task is!

I remember 1 song that can describe me best being a Gemini: And I'll end this post with it, It's a song by Nelly Furtado and it's called " I am like a bird".

You're beautiful...
That's for sure
You'll never ever fade...
You're lovely...
But it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare...
Though my love is true...
I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is
I don't know where my home is

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years...
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don't know me that well...

It's not that I wanna say goodbye...
It's just that every time you try...
To tell me that you love me...
Each and every single day I know...
I'm going to have to eventually give you away...

http://www.layoutchef.com/Images/Zodiac_Comments/Gemini/images/gemini.bmp

Those old school days...

I inherited all my school textbooks from Di.
Di's books were an example of how a book could be used and still looked as if it hadn't been used!

I was and am totally against this mentality! I love to leave behind my mark - ("Yes! I have read this text!") on books and benches ( not on tourist places!) .

Since I was least interested in what went on in class, I would put my heart and soul into decorating my textbooks! My favorites were language books- hindi, English etc. Because they had stories and pictures of human beings whom I could turn into demons by drawing two horns and a long tongue! And 1 subject I hated to study but on whose textbook I spent maximum time was Sanskrit! Sanskrit textbooks were filled with drawings of Kings and Queens, and I not only turned them into demons but also put thought bubbles in front of their mouths and filled it with funny dialogues!

I sat on the very 1st bench, right below the teacher's nose. Another of my classroom time pass was to give to the teacher whatever she required before anybody else could! I really don't understand today, what was the whole excitement about? But there were some others like me who gave me competition , so yes, that activity must have been interesting! In that event of being the first to give, we would fall- sometimes at the teacher's feet and hit each other to be the first and often get back on the bench with taunts from the teacher like - " I wished you had fought that hard for marks!"

So once our Sanskrit teacher asked for the textbook and "Jhataak" I gave it in her hands! And then it occurred to me that other than textbooks, I could give anybody anything! She opened the book and went through the pages, closed it and looked at the cover-

" Is this your textbook Janaki? What is this?"

Err...... Textbook it was, with my creativity all over the pages!

The teacher couldn't stop at that. She could not read that text book - fine, throw it back at me, you don't need to lecture me in front of the class, especially with those silly boys giggling behind!

"How old are you now? This is what is expected out of a 14 year old girl?"

- I never understand such dialogues- what do you mean by "this is not expected out of a so and so year old boy or girl?" Oh come on, what we do is all human...not that I am the first girl in the world to do that!
But when it was my turn to teach- I said the exact same dialogues to confused teenagers!

" Get out of the class and erase all that right now!"

ERASE?? Erase what? I wanted to tell her, the kings are no more kings- they are demons! Either they will live on my text as demons or nothing!

But I was put to the task right away!

My poor little frail textbook!


First, it was 3 years old ( my sister's) ,
secondly I had mishandled it,
Thirdly I drew all my pictures with 4B or 2B pencils, and had carved out my drawings so deeply that the original picture could hardly be seen!

I did not know how to start, from where to start! Finally I decided it would be the horns! The first stroke of the eraser and the page got torn!

Chalo , ho gaya kaam!

Thankfully the school bell rang and I was out of the school building even before the teacher came out of the class.

Unfortunately now, in my text , there are no pictures, no humans , no animals! It's just boring alphabets! All I can do is mark important sections with glitter pens and markers for some fun- but that's it!

For all this and so much more, I miss those old school days.....

Chasing Dreams

Everybody told me.....they said they spoke out of their experience.....Its never worth chasing your dreams.... Cause they dont come real!

I listened to everybody and to all their experiences, their failures, their weaknesses.......

And yet I decided to chase my dreams!

There's a strange quality in dreams..... They are like shadows! The harder you chase them, the harder they run away from you!

The moment I stop and turn myself away from my dreams, they seem to follow me!

My dream is my shadow- It never leaves me- Whether I chase it or not!

The only puzzle now is-

Will I ever be able to catch my shadow?

Why I Lie

I dont remember when was the 1st time I lied and what was the lie..... But once you know that you can lie and get away with it, you enter a very different world!

Everybody lies, for good or for bad... but everyone does it!

" Janaki, where is your homework?" Asked my History teacher in 9th std. She was the one who loaded her students with homework. 25 questions everyday ( mostly on the history I never wanted to learn in my life eg. World War 1 , 2 and all that shit created by the western countries!)

My sister was always a ranker in school and it was greater than a religious duty of mine to preserve her notebooks carefully! They were all the guidance I needed. My sister had written every question and answer in her most beautifully carved handwriting, that I always felt it was a waste of time for me to copywrite it. So I never ever did any homework.

The 1st thing that pops up in my mind when she stares down at me is " Teacher, My homework is at home!"

But come on...... " My Notebook is lost for the past couple of days!"

This solved all my problems! the next couple of weeks I was supposedly searching for my book which never existed, and then I started scribbling on a new notebook some homework, which was now not needed. My teacher, having got bored with my quick answers stopped asking me about the homework.

Lying is an art I perfected at school!

Why?
Because studies never interested me, add to that the boring techniques our teachers ( not all though) use to impart knowledge in our heads!

Why?
Cause people preferred my lies to all the truths I held very close to my heart!

Why?
This is a world of lies! Nobody wants to know the truth about you!

When I was young and innocent , I always spoke the truth. When it came to the question of making a career, I wanted to be a conductor, a cooker ( meaning a cook), A teacher! All the jobs I got to watch and which I loved! My parents laugh out on it, not objecting as they know I'll soon change my mind!

I grow a bit older, " What do you want to do after 10th Janaki?"

I impulsively blurt out a truth I'd never said to anybody before, " I want to join Fine Arts and get into film making!"

I see blank stares at me, big eyes and silent mouths.... as If I'd told the biggest lie in the world! Why do people react so badly to the biggest truth in my life? I wonder!!
Different people tell me how bad my choice is, and that I should listen to my parents!

I end up listening to my parents , I end up living a lie!



Nothing good ever happened out of living a lie!

That is why I reserve all the lies to the world and all the truths to myself!
All that I need to be happy, to feel blissful are the truths about my life.... I know what I want, what I need...... To the world I am someone else, To myself I am the Real Me!

Life Is A CELEBRATION

It took me all this time to realize what this means, to really feel that way about life! And now when I have started enjoying life……I know it is true!

Throughout my life I’ve been a big fan of motivational books and speakers. Most of them say this statement repeatedly and I never understood it!

With stress, exam tensions, the thought of making a successful career, handling my personal expectations and at the same time the expectations of so many others……..and other 1000 things on my mind……. How can I treat life to be a celebration? How could I enjoy the small things as well as the big events….. I couldn’t!

Life stops to be a celebration the moment you get tensed about the different things you have to do to keep it moving! Worries about the past, the present and the future, self doubt, low self esteem and lack of confidence makes things worse!

Amongst the many experiments that I keep doing with my life……this 1 has been the most productive of all! And all I had to do was to get off the track, the bus, the race… whatever you call it…… the pace of life that keeps moving us upside down!

Just get off it!

Slow down!

Take a deep breath!

Think about no-one but yourself!

And suddenly after a few months, the roller coaster came to a complete stop! Ohh I was so uncomfortable with the slow speed and then a complete stop? It was insane!

As hard as I was trying to close in on my core, the world was trying to push in to know the why’s, the what’s and the how’s!

This was the 1st time I gave so much of thought to what my soul was saying, what was my heart beating for? As I shun the outside world , the noises reduced and suddenly I could hear myself clearly.

I realized that my soul has always been guiding me, telling me, stopping me…..but I never cared to listen to it attentively! There were too many things too many people were telling me! Backing their theories with stories of success, of making great money, of having a lot of material things in life.

Our head works so much , so cruelly……that we forget to listen to our heart!

Now I realize that all I need to be happy is myself! As long as I can hear my inner voice , there’s nothing to confuse me, nothing to doubt about myself.

Within me I’ve the music that my soul dances to….and that’s what I need to make my life into a celebration!


Ingredients that I added in my life:

Exercises: keeps the body fit and utilizes the energy well!

1. Yoga – it relaxes, takes off all the tensions from the body, mind and soul! Especially saying “ OM ” ..The sound vibrates in the body to give inner peace. Or listen to the sound of a shankha ( just close your eyes and let the vibrations touch your heart…. Its an amazing feeling).

2. A walk- ( preferably with music) : enhances my imagination, helps me think.

3. Dance: the ultimate way to celebrate life is to swing to the beats and let your body do the talking!

4. Music: a mood enhancer , provides me all the food for thought!

5. Drama, films: it’s a food for thought, there is a joy in enacting a character…in being someone else on stage and being appreciated by a live audience!

6. Travel: my choice is to go to forested areas where there is no much tourism. Just sit , close your eyes and listen to the sounds of the birds, the rustling of the leaves and different calls of the animal kingdom!

7. Swim: not in a swimming pool but a fresh water stream.

8. Keep the company of the right people , subtract those who comment and hurt .

9. Consciously try to make the atmosphere around you positive.

10. If there’s anger, frustration inside which you just cannot deal with…. Take your friend, go to a lonely beach/place and shout at the top of your voice. (Its not as easy as it sounds!)

11. Write a blog. Write about how you feel, let people know.

12. Fight for your right!


Ingredients to take off from life:

1. stop the activity that’s most giving tension, stress etc. ( in my case this meant an immediate career change)

2. If being with certain people or going to certain functions bothers you or gives you stress- stop it! Stop going until you are strong enough to deal with it.

3. Don’t listen to what your parents, friends and others have to say the whole time about what you are. Know what you are, and stand for what you believe in.

My Rags

My entire family- somewhere around 15 of us, were leaving for Ganapatipule. I was around 6 years old then. Mamma dressed up Di and turned to me, she had some brand new clothes for me. “ I want to wear the yellow dress!”

There was this yellow skirt and a blouse that I got as a gift from pasakaka- He’s my favorite uncle, and what he got for me was like heaven sent gifts! The said yellow dress was at least 3 years old, I wore it at home, and mamma had discarded it! She had announced in front of the entire family that it’s the latest rag that she will be using for cleaning up the floor!


“ Baa, I already told you its torn and its not meant for wearing anymore!”
“ Noooooooo…I want the yellow dress!” wehhhhhh aaaaa I threw up a tantrum!

Mamma had enough, “ Then sit at home wearing your yellow dress, I am not taking you anywhere!”

I happily waved a goodbye to my family wearing the yellow dress. I was left behind with my grand parents!

Through all these years, the oldest of my clothes remain my favorites! They give me the best fit and the best comfort. Some of them belong to me, that I had worn in 8th std, and some I inherited from my Maushi, Di etc.

Through the years, people have become much more particular about their clothes and looks! But I feel no shame in wearing my Rags! I do the honors not only at home, or at camps but even when I have to go to the market and to restaurants. Women stare, some laugh and some comment- to hell with them! I am on top of the world when I am in my Rags!

Not just old clothes, shoes too are my favorites! I have so many new pairs of shoes, sandals- but I still enjoy wearing the sole torn , old, dirty looking amongst them.

I’ve always tried doing something new with the old stuff- like painting my old jeans with fabric paints, cutting and pasting stuff here and there- making a skirt out of a trouser ( yes! I did that!) ….. I jus love the feel of the old material- it reminds me of the good and the bad old times- makes me nostalgic!

I do not know if I have some sort of a disease, but I am myself in my rags!
I know I don’t look the prettiest, but I am at my best!
I JUST LOVE MY RAGS!

Each 1 has a special talent Part 2

This experience has only taught me a simple truth- all of us- educated class has this habit of under estimating other people who are less educated then us, perhaps who are involved in a low paying job and a skill.

God has given a special talent to each and every person- there is absolutely no need to feel that I am superior to someone else. Its times like these when we go to ponder in other fields that we come to know about the hidden talents of others. There were some 7th std girls with me, they’d failed their exams thrice, the school had already asked them to drop out. These 3 girls had a beautiful talent for tailoring, hand and machine embroidery. The stuff that they had done was marvelous for their age!

I took a residential camp for some village kids a few days back. The principal of 1 of the school which was participating had warned me about a few boys who were extremely naughty and were black listed twice, but not suspended because their parents had urged him to give them a final try.

These boys gave me such a hard time through out the camp- but when it came to activities like dramatics – they were too good! Some of them were excellent singers, some were excellent cooks and some were experts at playing football.

I wonder why we don’t have schools that help a child to learn the activity of his choice?
Why should all learn the subjects that are taught in school?
Just because a student is a failure at maths and science and even at languages, does it mean they are dumb? Some parents even wonder if their child is abnormal!
Why are we still stuck with a system which abuses a child off his creativity and talent?

I feel sorry for these numerous children who have to bang their heads on empty futures.
Through the camp, I could give them an opportunity to realize what are areas of their interest! I hope in future, with the help of more resources and more experienced people- I’ll be able to take to our villages and schools the best of creativity , and give them a chance to flourish and excel and make a name for themselves!

each 1 has a special talent part 1

I’ve been fascinated with clothes only for a couple of years!

My 1st love is saris and jeans- personally salwaars don’t figure out anywhere in my favorite list. These days even on traditional occasion’s women gift each other salwaars, I so wished I was rather given a sari!

Anyway, there was so much material that I thought I’ll go and get some tailoring lessons. No skill ever goes a waste anyway.

I never really thought about the sewing machine which is such an important part of tailoring. I’d never handled or operated it before. How bad can it get, I thought? There were so many girls in the class, much younger to me, stitching comfortably on the machine. I’ll learn in a few days- I told myself!

1st day- the wheel was going reverse.

2nd day- wheel was going in the right direction, but the thread was getting stuck.
3rd day- thread still getting stuck.
4th day- needle breaks
5th day- 2nd needle breaks
6th day- 3rd needle breaks, almost misses getting in my right eye.
7th day – my teacher sits with me the whole class, the machine is now operating as if there never was a problem.
8th day- teacher thinks I’ll be fine- but the sewing machine still refusing to co operate with me.
9th day- other girls who started learning with me are stitching their own salwaars, am still stuck on a baby dress.
10th day- I tell the teacher I’ll stitch the whole dress by hand- I’ll do the entire course with my hand stitching, she says, “ have patience!”

11th day – wheel going backwards, needle breaks, the bobbin is rolling around the machine!
All the girls turn and look at me as I bang my hands on the machine table.

“ I’ve had enough!” I declare.

I storm out of the class.

There has been no skill that has taken so much time for me to learn. The last thing I remember which really tested my patience were the math sums. I’ve had absolutely no problems operating any machine so far- I learnt driving a car in mere 4 days! And now I can drive any automobile- be it a track, a bus or a truck!

And this little thing called a sewing machine is not co operating with me?

The next 2 weeks I don’t show up in class. The teacher calls up home, and I go to meet her. After talking about what’s really pissing me off, she mildly says, “Ok, take a break. If you have a machine at home, try your hand on it a couple of times, get comfortable with the idea that its you who is tailoring your own clothes, nothing is impossible! You just need to learn a couple of tricks.”

I come home, totally disappointed with myself, feeling like a total failure!
I don’t like myself not knowing to do anything!
So far I’ve learnt many skills, all with ease!
Be it swimming, dancing, singing, dramatics, or driving!