*Lost* ( Random letter to somebody part 3)

Dear Somebody,

I just hate this part of my life's story.......it's when I feel myself going into the dark corners, going deeper into unknown depths, hitting rough surfaces.....its when I feel alone, its when I feel abandoned....

Why do I feel abandoned?
Why do I feel as if I have nobody I can call my own?
Nobody I can depend on?
No-one I can trust?

Whether I'm surrounded by people at a party or playing a card game with my friends,
I know that when the time runs out, people will pack their bags and leave...
They'll leave...
They'll leave with their loved one, they'll leave with the one they call their own....
And it's just me with the cards, me with the empty glasses...
Maybe sometimes I will have some company...but I'm so sure he won't last my lifetime!

I have this strong desire to lock all my friends in a room and keep them with me forever!
I want to tell them.... "No! You can't leave....Not until I let you!"
I cook for my friends sometimes and I love to hear their happy chatter while I cook with all my love...
But I know, no matter what I do, They will leave...they have to....

I'll change cities, and places and I'm so sure I'll make new friends....
But at a point, all this makes no sense!
You accept someone as your own one day and the next day he walks away...
And you are left searching for a new friend, a new house, a new set up...
And just when I know that there is someone who'll hold on to me,
Just when it's time he tries to hold my hand tight,
I swiftly pull out,
I back off,
I slip from his hands and disappear into the darkness...into the same dark corners I hate so much, I let myself slip into the depths of the unknown and hit the rough surfaces.....I love this part of my life's story, or do I hate it?

*Lost*
*Lost*
*Lost*

J