I dont remember when was the 1st time I lied and what was the lie..... But once you know that you can lie and get away with it, you enter a very different world!
Everybody lies, for good or for bad... but everyone does it!
" Janaki, where is your homework?" Asked my History teacher in 9th std. She was the one who loaded her students with homework. 25 questions everyday ( mostly on the history I never wanted to learn in my life eg. World War 1 , 2 and all that shit created by the western countries!)
My sister was always a ranker in school and it was greater than a religious duty of mine to preserve her notebooks carefully! They were all the guidance I needed. My sister had written every question and answer in her most beautifully carved handwriting, that I always felt it was a waste of time for me to copywrite it. So I never ever did any homework.
The 1st thing that pops up in my mind when she stares down at me is " Teacher, My homework is at home!"
But come on...... " My Notebook is lost for the past couple of days!"
This solved all my problems! the next couple of weeks I was supposedly searching for my book which never existed, and then I started scribbling on a new notebook some homework, which was now not needed. My teacher, having got bored with my quick answers stopped asking me about the homework.
Lying is an art I perfected at school!
Why?
Because studies never interested me, add to that the boring techniques our teachers ( not all though) use to impart knowledge in our heads!
Why?
Cause people preferred my lies to all the truths I held very close to my heart!
Why?
This is a world of lies! Nobody wants to know the truth about you!
When I was young and innocent , I always spoke the truth. When it came to the question of making a career, I wanted to be a conductor, a cooker ( meaning a cook), A teacher! All the jobs I got to watch and which I loved! My parents laugh out on it, not objecting as they know I'll soon change my mind!
I grow a bit older, " What do you want to do after 10th Janaki?"
I impulsively blurt out a truth I'd never said to anybody before, " I want to join Fine Arts and get into film making!"
I see blank stares at me, big eyes and silent mouths.... as If I'd told the biggest lie in the world! Why do people react so badly to the biggest truth in my life? I wonder!!
Different people tell me how bad my choice is, and that I should listen to my parents!
I end up listening to my parents , I end up living a lie!
Nothing good ever happened out of living a lie!
That is why I reserve all the lies to the world and all the truths to myself!
All that I need to be happy, to feel blissful are the truths about my life.... I know what I want, what I need...... To the world I am someone else, To myself I am the Real Me!
Wow... simply wow!
ReplyDeleteGlad u like it sim, we r sailing in d same ship! :)
ReplyDeleteIn a nutshell, you are saying that you tell people what they want to hear - whether its the truth or a lie. If you say the truth, you're bogged down by the expectations or reactions .. so why bother? Right?
ReplyDeleteWell - this was a very nice perspective!
@ Kiran: I dont care much about their expectations of me as their reactions! People can be funny n hurting at d same time..... n when they give a bad reaction to somethin tht means d world to me...... god.... I dont like d sinking feeling I get!
ReplyDeleteSomething must be terribly wrong in your life for you to be this negative... or is this just your writing style? I hope its the latter, but wish you happiness either way.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous: something negative happens in everybody's life! I like to express it and get it out of my system! Mayb coz I'm used to writing a diary from a very young age, I am frank about my feelings- positive or negative!
ReplyDeleteits not that everytime i sit down to write , I write something negative.........so it will be safer to say, its not my writing style as such! anyway, thanks for your wishes!