I've seen many of my friends and cousins who are born and brought up in cities but when it comes to their decision of getting married, they'll always come home to Goa and choose a girl from a not so modern Goan family!
The same applies to all religions , casts and communities. ( Finally something on which all Indians regardless of caste, religion- behave similarly!)
If the boy and his family are abroad, they'll fly down to India to search for that perfect, simple , well groomed, well educated Indian girl!
But why? Why does the city boy need a simple village girl?
And what is wrong with the city girls?
I've heard most boys/ grooms and now happily married men( who got married to a girl from their hometown) say that the city girls are bad!
" First and foremost, They've done everything!"
Everybody nod their heads!
"They dont have respect for anybody and they are chalu! They've some crazy expectations too!"
" Really? How can you generalise like that? And what do you mean by they've done everything? You are a city boy, so you must have done everything too!"
Everybody smiles, a few laughs here and there- " But that is alright!"
Ohh! If the boy does " Everything" , it is alright. so in conclusion should I say that:
A. City boys are hypocrites
B. They are MCP's.
C. They dont have the confidence to keep up with a girl's expectations, so they rather run to the pavilion then bat in the heat!
Why are conclusions always drawn about girls?
I have friends who are born and brought up In Mumbai, who are virgins ( cause for an Indian boy,the world starts and ends with 1 word- virginity!)
And I also have friends staying in the most remotest of villages of Goa, and in some other villages of Maharashtra, who are not virgins! I will go a step ahead and add that I know girls from the most respectable families who are not virgins, But you wont doubt a thing about them, because they seem to be so simple!
A city hardly provides the privacy for a young girl to have affairs, unless her parents have kept no track on her! Most respectable families in the city have strict rules for their girls. Most of the times, the girls you see swaying in the discs- drunk, around the metro's are outsiders- who are there cause they are either studying or working!
Compare to this the case of a village! Its not crowded and there are plenty of places you can have privacy and nobody will know! Many times, village parents are not very strict because they are naive. the girls are naive too, probably that is the reason they hook up at an early age!
City girls have to be chalu because they are living in an extremely fast world! They've to be sharpar and naturally grow up to learn about self protection earlier then their village counterparts.
If we take the case of television exposure, then we all know that the TV is everywhere!
I didnt start the post thinking I want people to think bad of a village girl! I myself am neither from a village nor from a city! What I want to stress is on the way people tag girls at every level!
City girl, Not married girl, working girl- divorced girl...............All these girls are always blamed for anything that might be going wrong in theirs or others lives!
And its the women who start this!
Its the mother of the boy who brought up her son to think this way!
Its always a woman gossiping and spreading rumors about another woman's daughter!
Its always the woman who love to divide and rule!
I loved this, "rather run to the pavilion then bat in the heat!" u r actually quoting cricket?
ReplyDeletehow did that happen?
The main reason why men come for small town girls is because they always want to rule over them and that becomes a lil difficult with the independent, self-sustaining and proud city girls. (mind u, i said proud, not arrogant!) the other reasons given are just excuses to cover up this plain, centuries old, chauvinist mentality!
I knw.... I mean i dont want to be so hard on boys but they should try to keep up with the changing times. At the other end , women too at times fly too high! not that men dont! i feel blindly following d western culture shud b stopped by both d genders!
ReplyDeleteToo many points in this post worth discussing!
ReplyDeleteTo start off - I agree that many boys are hypocrites and MCPs when it comes to marriage - they want to have city girls as girlfriends; but when it comes to marriage - they want the "homely" lasses! But - I would not put this down to city boys alone. Hypocrisy is seen among village boys too.
Coming to the expectation of virignity; I think boys are maturing now - and this is no longer the single most important factor in choosing a girl.
Then, I agree with your analysis of the "chalu" girls - although the adjective is derogatory!
But one angle I want to add to this discussion is - in many cases the boys are coming to the villages to seek a match simply because they are being rejected by the city girls of the same caste. I am seeing this trend among boys among my acquaintances in the past few years.
The problem is - since there was a "scarcity" of eligible girls; the demands of the girls are very high. A city-bred girl will look for a much "higher" match (one staying abroad for example). The boys have no choice but to look for potential matches in the villages (since inter-caste marriages are still frowned down upon in many circles).
And then, boys are the victims of this stereotyping too - with parents of girls perpetually suspicious of the city boys - although this is to a smaller extent (and has less serious consequences) than the stereotyping of city girls.
Great post - fodder for lot of discussion and debate :)
hmm a lot of interesting points u made too. something tht i hadnt given thought to. u r very rgt tht city gals must b havin high expectations! plus d caste issue is genuine.
ReplyDeletehypocrites- both genders r! its not a quality related only to males.coz i knw many gals who've befriended boys coz they want to have fun bt whn it comes to marriage they'll always choose sum1 frm their caste n hmm hmm... with loads of money!
its quite common here to have a common frame n try to fit all in it! tht's y ppl tag anybody who is slightly out of their league!