Have you seen a clear night sky?

I never get "Random Thoughts" by nature, it has to be someone else making random statements for me to wander off in that direction. And when it comes to 'Randomness', "Alphus Rockey" rules the roost! After all , he's Alphus 'Random' Rockey while I am Janaki 'Confused' Sincro, so you can imagine where his randomness can lead me to. Sometimes our conversations lead me to a state of mind that ends me with morbid dreams!


Our conversations are as good as a drug dose for me, as I get a hangover the very next day.


So yesterday night, he asked me this question, "What do you feel when you see a clear night sky?"

So I laid down on the lawn to completely feel it, to answer the question.

The sky was clear yesterday night.




"So? What do you feel? Apart from appreciating the beauty of it of course..."


"Only if you stop talking will I feel something.....wait now...let me listen to my heart...."


And so I looked at the sky, and the million stars, and ignored all that was around me, ignored the fact that I was lying down on the lawn at 9.30pm at night, and that if the security had seen me like that, they would probably come running to see what I'm doing....I took a deep long breath, (and apart from the traffic noise somewhere far away), could hear my own breathing, and I could sense some slow sad music going on in my head!




" I hear some slow music......."




"Okay....and?"




" Alphus, I'm getting a feeling of a very deep sense of loss! As if I'm lost somewhere....


I think I've never felt too happy looking at a clear night sky with stars......they are so many of them....


I feel lonely.....as my eyes see the familiar patterns in the sky, my mind cant make any sense of my life and my goals and my being alive!


As if the very next moment I'm going to die, as if I'm breathing my last!"


"Hmmm........and the moon? What do you feel when you see the moon?"


" The moon is my friend! No matter how lost I am, if I see the moon I smile. I know him, he knows me!"


"Nice...that's kind of deep...The emotion that you are feeling is called "feeling insignificant"

"What do you mean?"

"Imagine u have a map, its like any other map, but only difference is that this one shows all of Creation with its limitless stars and planets and infinitive emptiness of space, and it also shows You, a dot about 1/100th the size of a pin prick and it marks you out with a sign in Bold letters saying "THIS IS YOU". If u had such a map what would be the first thing that comes to your mind?"

"I'm so small"

" Exactly.....hence Insignificant! Now let me ask you a different question...."


"No!"


"Why not?"


" Because I'm lost in the sky........ "


"Okay.......Look, you might be feeling quite peaceful there, but I aint watching the stars right now, so...next question!"


"No next questions, all the noise from your side is disturbing my thought process....let's hang up now."


"This is what I don't like about you, you get lost in our conversations and can't Come back!"


"No.......I feel divine! Good night Alphus, we'll talk tomorrow!"


" Nonsense! No random conversations with you any more. Bye."






(Song) "Growing in numbers
Growing in speed
Can't fight the future
Can't fight what I see

People they come together
People they fall apart
No one can stop us now
'Cause we are all made of stars'

Efforts of lovers
Left in my mind
I sing in the reaches
We'll see what we find


Slowly rebuilding
I feel it in me
Growing in numbers
Growing in peace


People they come together
People they fall apart
No one can stop us now
'Cause we are all made of stars"





Security: Madamji , aap thik ho?

Me(waking up): Huh? Wha??

Security: Madamji , gyaarah baj rahe hain, aur aap yahan lawn pe so rahe ho?


(Madam, are you alright? It's 11 pm and you are sleeping outside on the lawn?")










"We are all made of stars" by Moby

Alphus Rockey at http://alphusrockey.blogspot.com/2011/02/pale-blue-dot.html?zx=e9ec93577ed52fda