"You never realise how strong you are , until being strong is the only choice you have!"
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| Base camp Chowrikhang 14600 ft |
Journal entry:
23rd April 2014
4.30 pm
(While at self arrest class)
"There is no time to pee, or drink enough water or rest....so definitely, there is no time to write as well. That is why I take this opportunity to write during class, sitting here on the steep slope against the strong winds.
Initially I hated being here, it is too exhausting for me. But now I am liking it. At this moment, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world! I do not have much aptitude in this stuff....I still don't understand which knot to use for which purpose. It's almost like being a magician when you work with the rope and the wonderful things you can do with it.
I don't know if I would like to come here again and put myself through this torture, but I have achieved what I wanted in this process - A better understanding of myself . I thought I wasn't tough enough to survive this, I am. I am slow, but I am not weak. I do not give up, I made it to each and every class and every single activity- whether I was bored, had my period, body ache, or feeling giddy... I showed up and for that I am proud of myself!
My efforts might not be up to the mark for the others as most girls out here are extremely fit. There is a lot to learn from them. Now that I have seen what women are capable of doing, I can prepare myself in that direction and challenge myself once more. My current performance is the base record set for me that I have to break.
There is another force that is working in my favour. My parents or society I live in is least interested in this activity, and since it's just a month long course, they know I am not going to make a career in it, and have let me off the hook! There are no expectations. All this I am doing, is just for myself! And it feels so GOOD, man I can't explain!
What if I choose a life that is so selfish as to think only of myself?
I would only have "me" to impress!"Me" to disappoint!"
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| The night sky at base camp (Photographer: Hemang Gala) |
There is an intimate connection with spirituality and these mountains. It is impossible to go up there, in those rugged terrains and not reflect upon your life, not look at the bigger picture, not question your existence and what you are doing.
My life back home in Goa is comfortable, if I stick to what I have, there won't be many issues. But is there all that is to life? To be comfortable? Am I living to get comfortable? Is that the goal? Would that make me happy? Would that make me proud of myself?
"Oh yeah I bought this car, and this expensive phone, and spent 1000's on medication and now I look so slim and this branded dress fits me so well, man! I look so sexy!" <------- Is this me?
or
" Oh my boyfriend/ husband owns that company, the CM called him today you know to discuss important matters, he graduated from that prestigious university, my children go to XYZ school, oh yeah, it's the best here!" <--------- This?
Would I rather choose a path that I can't "show off" to the world but which dazzles me?
Isn't it better to stay true to myself?
Why should I run the rat race when it completely fails to impress me?
Well! I know that a lot of us had started asking a lot of these questions , in spite of all the exertion and the lack of time and our schedules being full of activities. There were jumaring lessons, rappelling, self arrest class, crevasse rescue, learning to walk in crampons and using the ice axe, climbing on fixed rope....all these activities require tremendous amounts of energy.
Life at base camp:
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| Girl's hut |
The main activities at base camp apart from course work were:
1. Pooping
2. Eating and washing the Mess tin
Pooping Business:
The toilets were so far away, we had to climb a small hill to get there. The usual routine was 5-6-7. Which means 5 o'clock bed tea, 6 am breakfast and 7 am Fall in ( Fall in means assemble at the assembling point and fall into your ropes, ready to report.) Deepa and Akshata were the early risers. Madhura and myself woke up somewhere at around 5.30 and Sharvani had to be shaken and shouted at to make her get out of her sleeping bag.
Mess- Tin and the freezing cold water:
The tiffin had to be washed every single time after use. Water in the mornings and at nights was so damn freezing that this activity was one that I hated the most. Your fingers bloody go so numb and then there is some sort of pain after a while. The whole feeling was damn uncomfortable! I was so engrossed in coping up with these factors that I hadn't noticed that Sharvani was skipping dinners. Later I found out that she is not a "cold weather" person. She would be active throughout the day while the sun shines and refuse to get out when it got cold. Some days she hit the sack at 4pm. For a few days we had dinner in the same mess tin, so I knew what she ate and she didn't have to freeze her hands in the cold water. But on some days I got angry. Sharing food isn't my forte'. I get angry when people eat from my plate. Once Joy picked up food from Hemang's plate without asking for his permission. I was sitting on the same table and I took offense at such behaviour even though Hemang was cool. Later I gave Joy a lecture on this topic. Didn't help much because he did repeat his stunt on someone else's plate.
Course work:
Trek to the Glacier and Back:
We had 4 days of snow and Ice craft on the Glacier. Someone told me that it was the most difficult task in this course. If you get through this, you can get through anything. I wondered what can be more difficult than the trek from Bakhim to Dzongri! Plus here onwards we had to wear snow boots that weigh around 2 kg's! The level of discomfort was high and so had to be our endurance.
Day 1 : Trek to the Glacier: 2 and a half hours of trek to and fro :The bags were light, but the shoes were heavy and they were harsh on feet ending up with several blisters. 1st day was difficult on me because I didn't get food at the right time. I had breakfast at 6 am . We took longer to get to the Glacier and finished the activity at 2 pm. I think we climbed down the glacier at around 3. After 3 pm I could hardly walk . By the time I had my lunch it was 4.15pm. I am used to having meals at the right time. In fact I have smaller meals 5 times a day. I realised that mountaineering is a lot about preparation and strategy. Next day onwards, I started packing tiffin for myself and ate it on the way to the glacier. That settled the hunger issue.
Food at HMI: Food and hostel facilities are excellent at HMI ( for the price you pay). The quarter master was in charge of these departments and did an excellent job. Not just that, we could go to him with any issues and he gave us a lot of moral support because of which getting through this course became much easier.
It's the people at HMI that make this experience so special! The whole staff and crew are very hospitable and warm. The Principal is an open minded person, willing to listen to you.
Medical Facilities: The Medical Officer or the Nursing Assistant are around 24x7. Apart from them, all instructors are well trained in first aid and are abundantly aware of what medication to be used for what symptom and problem. I used to be someone who is scared of hospitals and doctors, but not after this course. I had some or the other issue every single day and visiting the medical room was like going to a temple. Loose motions, gas, cold and fever, body ache, nausea, vomiting, exhaustion became a way of life. I took a tablet every night before sleeping, and had to apply vicks throughout the day and the night to control my 24x7 running nose.
Deepa and Sharvani seemed stuck on the question, "Will I puke today?"
"Maybe I won't!"
"Maybe I will!"
Extra- curricular activities at the Base camp:
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| Photography by Hemang Gala |
The glacier trek and activities would get over by 2 pm and after lunch we had a class for an hour on the activity that we were to practice the next day.
By 5 pm, we would be free. Some boys spent time playing cricket or football, some of us played dumb-charades, and antakshari in the dining hall.
The girl's hut and the gossip :On days when it snowed heavily, the girls sat inside their huts and gossiped. Major discussions initially revolved around how many layers of sunscreen to apply to protect your skin, which creams work better in these extreme climates to discussions on bra sizes and boobs. Boy's aren't the only one's to talk about boobs. In fact every time we changed, there was always an admirer amongst us admiring the other. Women love to watch other women.
Days passed by fast. When I was climbing though, I was counting every second and it looked like the time had slowed down. Now a days, I miss that heavy sound of my breath that rang in my ears throughout the course, reminding me that I am alive, teaching me the meaning of being alive.
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| Dogs at Base camp. They had accompanied us from Yuksum . Photographed by Hemang Gala |
On the last day we climbed a peak. The climb was steep and we had to be roped up while going higher. Mostly 10 to 11 people were roped together. There was this attitude of "just get through every day" in me initially, but when I was climbing the last phase to reach the top of the Peak is when I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And I thought, yes, I need to give this more of my time and attention and effort. I must attempt to climb another Peak, some day. I must try to get better at this, it's fun! The friends you make here are for real because your life depends on them. They fall, you fall with them- everyone dies! We don't operate in an artificial environment. This is for real.
I did an unusual thing when I reached the peak.
I prayed!
I prayed for the well being of my parents. They are wonderful parents considering how difficult a person I am. They put up with me, every single time. I argue and I have my mood off's and every few years something new catches my attention and I jump into the wagon. They have let me jump and fall and get hurt and have got hurt with me in the process.
I prayed for them so that the almighty protects them and gives them the power to push through life, because here onwards, I will only get crazier & whackier!
Next post: The last post on HMI series.
And here are a few nice photos from Hemang Gala and Hardik at HMI.
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| Roped up at the Glacier |
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| While climbing Renok |
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| One of the 4 bridges from Yuksum to Bakhim |
Lucid flow of thoughts makes it interesting. It’s a pleasure to read your blog. The whole scene comes live I go through it. I am sure even a naïve person will be able to visualise it.
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