Thursday, September 16, 2010

U N I ( Part 10)

FREEZE.....

That was Krupal's wishful order for everyone!

Juhi stood there facing Nidhi...a red rose in her hands and an envelope...She did not recognize Nidhi, she had never met her before.
Nidhi looked at Juhi and immediately recognized her......
Both the ladies turned expectantly to Krupal!

Krupal's wishful order seemed to have worked only on him.....he did not move, nor did his facial expression change, only his eyes moved from Juhi to Nidhi and back to Juhi and lastly to the Private Detective who stood in one corner enjoying the scene!
The detective realized this was an explosive situation, he would have loved to wait and watch but Krupal's look was too scary to take a chance so he ran downstairs.

The expectant expression on Juhi's face turned to realization. Who else can this girl be?
Nidhi turned to look at Juhi again, and with tears in her eyes, she stepped closer to Juhi and caught her hands.
"I've nothing against you Juhi.....But I love this man too much.....And he just lies to me and abandons me in the middle of nowhere...what am I to do? What would you have done?"

Krupal was shocked to see a sudden change in Nidhi's tone," Liar Liar" He muttered to himself!
"Pardon me?" Nidhi asked.
"She's a lawyer!" Krupal told Juhi in a "Introductory" Style.
Juhi looked in Krupal's eyes, longer than necessary.
She took a moment to think...Nidhi was still holding her hands.

"Krupal doesn't love you Nidhi. That is the truth!"
"We are getting Engaged on Monday Juhi....I just gave him his Engagement clothes and he took them. That is also the truth!"

"You can't force yourself on him......you might make things work temporarily, but in the long run, its going to break!"
"You can't assume to know him.......1 week isn't enough to know a man!"

What the hell was happening?
Here are two ladies, in love with the same man, arguing over who gets him?
For a moment Krupal felt proud......usually you get to hear stories of men fighting over a woman...but here, he had turned the tables!
But then, where was this leading? Both the ladies have strong personalities, and this can take an ugly turn!
What was Krupal to do?
Stop it? Let it carry on?
He chose to let it carry on.
It was like a tennis match......right now the ball was in Juhi's court!

"I am not assuming anything Nidhi! It's not a toy we are fighting on. He's a free person and he has to make this choice, we arguing here and playing with words means nothing at the end of it!"
"You talk like a sensible woman....but you definitely don't behave like one!"
"Excuse me?"
"Don't you have a conscience? Don't you care about your character and reputation that you just move in with any man who asks you to? Or was it your idea?"

Juhi did not answer, she just smiled,"Nidhi You can't chain and cage someone you love, you have to let them be free!"
"You please don't tell me about letting him be free! I let him be free enough to go and kiss you in that restaurant on our date, I let him be free enough to live with you and sleep with you just a week before our Engagement!"

Juhi looked at Krupal,"Is she even understanding what I'm talking about Krupal?"

"Monday 4 pm Krupal......you promised! I gave you your time, your space, your freedom! What more do you want? Tell me where I went wrong? Why are you doing this to me? We've known each other for so long Krupal! I cannot imagine a life without you......Please don't leave me...please don't let me down! I've woven too many dreams for both of us.....I've thought for too long about our house, about our family, our children....I'll be lost without you in my life Krupal! Please try to understand......tomorrow.....please come!"

Nidhi was about to leave, when Juhi stopped her.
"Why can't you two sit inside and talk and decide for today whatever it is. Why wait till tomorrow?"
"You don't interfere in between both of us please. So Krupal...4pm, you promised! I'll be waiting!"

"Nidhi, please come inside!" Krupal was finally speaking.
And Nidhi suddenly felt she was losing the battle.
"I don't want to talk with you in front of her!"
"Okay. We can sit inside the room!"
"No...Not there too."
Nidhi had started behaving like an adamant child fighting for a toy.

"Okay, you two can sit in the hall and I'll go out...fine with you?" Juhi offered.
"I want some water!" Nidhi had started crying...with every passing moment, passing sentence, she was getting the vibes of a loss. And she hated losing. University Topper she was...she had never failed in life.....She had always calculated in advance and everything had worked out her way!
Juhi got her water,"Can I get you some tea ,coffee or lime water perhaps?"
"Lime water".
"Okay!"

Krupal was a silent spectator in this world of female communication!He could not understand what exactly was happening at the moment? Were they fighting? Were they being friends? Colleagues? Who's helping whom? Is this really helping or is it making things worse? Should he be talking or letting the females handle it their way?

Again, he chose the later! He let them handle it their way!

Nidhi and Krupal sat on the sofa. Juhi went in the kitchen to make Lime water.
"I'm sorry Nidhi. But I don't think it will work."
"It's okay.....You've been giving me the signals for quite some time...but it is too difficult for me to let go of something I like so much!"
"I'm not some-thing Nidhi! I'm not your toy! I should have stopped you long back when you started dominating me....but I thought that stage would pass by! But it didn't, and our relationship did more harm than good!"
Nidhi: "Love always hurts Krupal, doesn't mean a relationship is failing!"
Krupal: " Love doesn't hurt Nidhi....Love heals!"


Nidhi sighed,"Hmm....That's well said! Krupal,You are in love with her...why couldn't you tell me when I told you about the Engagement?"
He laughed,"Do you know that you are a terror at times?"

She thought for a while,"How am I to manage without you?"
"Oh come on! You've always been on your own Nidhi...its just in our mind that someone else is there, has to be there.....but in reality, you've never been dependent on me as such..you are quite independent!"

"Are you dependent on her?" Nidhi asked.
Krupal put a hand on Nidhi's shoulder,"From the day I met her!"
"What about her?"
"She's useless without me!"
They both laughed a little.
And fell silent for a while.
"So....are we going to remain friends?"
"We could...do you want to?"
"I kind of liked her.....she's mature and composed! If she was some Bimbo I would have lost all respect for you!"
"Hehe! So you want to be friendly with me because you like her?"
"No....Nothing like that!"

They looked at each other," Krupal....I'm going to miss you!"
"What about me are you going to miss the most?", Krupal asked.
"Who am I going to boss over now?"
"Ohh! That part you are going to miss, is it?"
"What will you miss about me?" Nidhi asked innocently.
"Who will boss over me now? Nobody ever bossed on me the way you did- not my parents, not teachers..nobody!"
"Don't worry....I still retain the right to boss over you!"

"People...can I come in and disturb you please?" Juhi came with the tray of drinks and snacks.

Nidhi took a bite of a biscuit and asked Juhi,"How do you know it is love, when it happens?"
"I did not know.....I realized ..with time....Time brings all the answers!"
"How do you know whether this will last?"
"There's no way to tell actually...but it just feels right! I've no doubts.....and I'm sure he doesn't have too! It's not a chance that we are taking with each other.....we know we are in love!"
"And if it fails?"
"True love doesn't fail! It cannot fail!"
"Oh God! I'm going to cry!" Nidhi cupped her face with her palms and started crying. The tears were for the first failure of her life! The tears were for the realizations that this failure had brought to her, the lessons that she learnt from this experience!

Juhi put a hand around Nidhi's neck and tried to soothe her, and Nidhi turned to Juhi and hugged her!
"Oh my god...this is going to make me cry now....! Women....These things you do...my god!" Krupal joined them and hugged them both! He kissed both the ladies on their forehead," Oh god! I must have been God's favourite to deserve women like you two in my life...and there's another one.."
"Who?" Both Nidhi and Juhi shot up their heads to look at Krupal.
"Mom!" He said with wide eyes!
All three of them laughed, all three of them hugged and cried!

The next day, there was no Engagement! It was called off!

Juhi and Krupal wanted to take more time so they continued living in together for the rest of the year and got married the following year.

Krupal's mother was shocked to hear the turn of events and in the change of plans.....but then," These things these young confused people do now a days.....Let them handle it their way!" She said and stepped aside.

Initially it was a bit tough for Nidhi to deal with the whole loss..but Juhi and Krupal stood by her so that she could deal with the emotional side effects of a break up!
"This doesn't feel like a break up at all...maybe that's why I'm more confused about how to deal with it!" Nidhi often complained.
"Go start dating, meet new people, you'll be fine!" Juhi advised her.
"Do you know of any young eligible bachelors?"
"Actually .....I do!" 

Juhi introduced Nidhi to Swamy. 
It did not work...it was a disaster!

After that Swamy officially pledged not to date anybody recommended by J -1st Smitha, then Nidhi.....He would rather find someone by himself!

Nidhi is currently single, and ready to mingle.
If any of you young boys want a smart intelligent independent and nice girl, you could think about her.
And she's grown up now, she's no more controlling as she was once upon a time.

***************************** *******THE END*************************************

Your Feedback, suggestions and comments are most welcome!

Song in Part 8 : You and I performed by Scorpions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgUKG6w9CBM

Image at : https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdO0MzbjKLo8wF9A8We2ZQ4-h4HEj0D7BLllqZ2z6pLabJeor8Zi05YrWD-wds6VVsbtCEinKxaoBsqzlLn-lCxBaRhGsNE02X2XZzWGb529eESCMTJT4mHQIDpGyIIXz2sc1oAt-1gsEM/

24 comments:

  1. Nice Write there. You definitely deserve a pat on the back for this. I didn't want to comment on it in between and perhaps influence a gist of it in anyway. Either ways its turned out pretty nice.

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  2. My only comment is .. why did this series have to end? I'd kind of grown to like Juhi and Krupal. And (I cant believe I'm saying this .. but .. ) I was actually looking forward to read the next episode (like mom's wait for their daily soaps :D)

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  3. wowww... I am the first one to finish reading!
    :)
    I will say last part was not as engaging as earlier parts, and somehow I didn't feel it had to be.
    In all the parts I liked the way everything was detailed, you didn't miss anything including words, emotions... everything seemed to be at right place, not easy while narrating these kind of incidences in life. Last part looked more made up though! :( but sometimes even reality looks like made up!
    Great series! I liked the fact that you could shorten it to 10 from 15, still showing capability to elaborate everything.
    keep it up.

    And this also reminds me to complete my post about type of stories as trees. Your type falls in the creepers category!
    :)

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  4. I enjoyed all other parts more than the last one. This looks like one of the Suraj Barjatya's or Yash chopra's movie ending…All emotional drama of ladies …..Pretty much predictable...I wish Krupal should been left alone rather than Niddhi ….anyways Great series J..Hope many more will come in future..

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  5. @ J M: It's the comments and feedback that fueled my imagination. I can't imagine writing part 10 if nobody had commented on the first 9 parts!Each comment is a pat on the back and I love it!
    Thanx a lot for your comments ! :-)

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  6. @ Kiran: I was starting to live in their world rather than mine......I knew I had to end it and fast :-)

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  7. @ Bhavin: Thank u!
    I need an explanation on what creeper really is!
    Is it because the story is long?

    Last part....well! There were mainly 2 options. 1 was to get all wild and the other, was this, where they show their maturity!

    Throughout the story everybody has been so driven, so manipulative, calculative....In part 10, Nidhi does start playing the tricks...but the truth of life is ,I think, we all can play as many games as we want, to get something, we have to fight till the end.....but when you know you've already lost what you're fighting for, its best to accept defeat with head held high!

    That's what Nidhi realizes. When you know you have to move on: You can either do that with a frown or with a smile.
    I wanted to end on a positive note!

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  8. @ Mukta: I think it would have been predictable if the ladies were to fight with each other, it would have been too melodramatic!

    In situations like these, when your heart is broken, a woman is bound to cry, so Nidhi cries!

    I did not want anybody to be left alone....I kind of liked all my characters, including Swamy! So Nidhi, though single, has the full backing and support of Krupal and Juhi ...and when you know you have friends by your side, life is a joyride! :-)

    Thanx a lot for all the comments and the discussions that followed Muks....

    And about more stories???
    Le'me see......... ;-)

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  9. publish ths... if u wnt I vl design book cover for u... even a gud screenplay can b done...
    keep writing...
    ~Cheers

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  10. Thank u so much Anant! :-)

    Perhaps I need to find a suitable publisher!
    Do you know any?

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  11. About the creeper, I have now posted it on my blog!
    :)

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  12. Came across your blog again today through Bhavin's blog. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, it grips right from the beginning and keeps you with it till the end.

    Would be more regular on your blog now :)

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  13. @ Bhavin : Nice Comparison!

    @ Siddhartha: Thank u n Welcome again!
    Hope to see you around now.

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  14. good to see ur dedication in writing these 10 episodes...takes a good amount of patience and imagination im sure :) congrats and keep up the good work!

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  15. Hey thanx Sam.
    Patience from my side and all you readers too!
    With this Episodic story I've gained some confidence in going past a couple of pages of a short story....

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  16. good work janaki babe!! keep it up!

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  17. Hey cool!!! nice one :) was waiting to come back n read ur post, missed them over last few days :)

    Well done gurl!!! i loved the way the whole story unfolded itself, the dialogs were very engaging. And as Kiran said, was really looking fwd to more episodes like a long running soap, its bcom an addiction :D

    Looking fwd to lot more stories frm u... until next...

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  18. Aah!
    Now this is d kind of feedback I really luk fwd to.
    :-)
    thank u!

    I did think abt all 3 endings...
    And finally placed myself in the shoes of all 3 characters and asked myself, what would I do?
    So the answer was what appeared in part 10:

    If I was Nidhi, it was too obvious that my love has drifted apart. With due respect to all that I had for that relationship, all I can do is be a good sport and no matter how difficult it is, move on!

    If I was Juhi, I would try and understand Nidhi. Besides Nidhi is younger than both Krupal and Juhi. So I would try to make the younger girl understand the situation.I wouldn't hurt another woman to win my love!

    If I was Krupal, I would not simply want to act macho only because I'm a man. The smart thing to do is to act according to the situation...to ride on the tide! So I would step back, see how the ladies react....if things need to be controlled somewhere then I would do so...but when both the ladies are proving their worth, its best to shut up and watch the drama!

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  19. True. Everybody can't think the same way.
    Next story, I'll definitely keep this point in mind. I always tend to put myself in all the situations.

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  20. I think I agree with Siddhi here. I might be interesting to put yourself in the shoes of one of them and then have the others react to your way of handling things. In real world you can only be ONE of them!

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  21. A befitting finale to the magnum opus!!! Was waiting for the story in its entirety to comment, caught the concluding parts only now. Compelling narrative, engaging dialogues,kindling mental soliloquies...just about all the requisites for a full-blown tele serial/short film. keep ur spiral-bound script handy. Well done!!

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  22. Hey thanx Raghu. :-)

    Ur vocabulary is making me run to my dictionary again!

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