The complaints are going to be on a rise from here, because that was how things had started shaping up. Yes we had fun and all that, but the truth remains that this is an extremely difficult course, mentally and physically. And the older you are, and the less prepared you go here, the more issues you will face...like it happened in my case!
I don't intend painting a negative picture. But this is the way it happened, the unedited censored version!
The bus took us to Yuksum at 5600 ft ( Sikkim) on 14th April. "Yuk" means Lamas and "sum" means three. It is the land of 3 lamas. The first capital of Sikkim. It was approximately a 9 hour bus journey from Darjeeling. It is this small quiet village that opens several routes to some of the best trekking routes in India. We girls were accomodated in a small room with decent toilets close by.
The boys complained to us that what girls have got is Taj Exotica in comparison to the "Tabela" (Horse shed) that they had to sleep in.
Day 1 trek from Yuksum to Bakhim ( 11 kms)
On the way to Bakhim, Sharvani started feeling sick, so she stopped. She wanted to take a day's rest but that is not allowed on this course. For a while I wanted to go back with her, because we had discussed and planned this trip together, I couldn't think of going ahead alone. But the instructors shooed me away . And she just said a firm , "Janaki, Go!" And I continued climbing without looking back , not knowing why I was climbing, not even paying attention to the terrain which was getting difficult! The rest of the climb was a blur. I was tired and exhausted by the time I reached Bakhim, but more than that I was praying that maybe something works out and Sharvani is allowed to climb the next day.
Day 2: Bakhim: 9000ft: was an acclimatisation day because we were at 9000 ft and this is officially high altitude. We had a small trek to get us warmed up but the rest of the day was free. While on this trek the Chief Instructor told me that Sharvani was climbing today- and I was glad!
Bakhim is where I got to know my course mates a bit better because there was a formal introduction class. I realised how different all of us were. Someone didn't have the money to pay for this course, someone else had resigned to be here, someone fought with his boss , someone dreamt of climbing Mt Everest, others wanted to do some expedition.
There are so many stories of Joy, maybe if there is time I will jot them down...the story of Joy's tea cup that hit Mr. Naidu, and the story of Joy falling off the rocks, or that one where I almost fell because of Joy's mistake, and the biggest one: The rainy night, Joy and the stubborn dog!
Instructors at HMI:
Helpful, resourceful and loving! All the instructors at HMI are experts in the field, besides being extremely patient and friendly. All of them are keen on teaching and take personal interest in each student. The method of teaching varies from person to person of course, so some of them were strict. I did not get along well with one of them. And that was because of his high expectations out of HMI students and my average level of fitness.
All of us don't go to HMI with the aim of being a mountaineer! Some of us went there just to try something new. I feel, as a teacher, one must allow that space to a student to explore and find their own way around a particular problem. Like Joy commented back to this instructor when he was trying to make us walk faster, "Sir, ek din mein hum Milkha Singh thodi ban jayega?"
You can't turn a normal citizen into a mountaineer in one month's time! What you can do is inspire, teach , experiment and maybe that person feels motivated and comes around to be a mountaineer!
The question I was asking myself throughout the course was, "Is HMI the start or the end of mountaineering for me?"
The haunted Bakhim forest guest house :
Something freaky happened! The time was around 9 pm, all the girls were inside the broken room . The girls who trekked faster were given the wooden beds, we the slower crowd slept on the floor and the Kashmiri poet for some reason chose to sleep alone in the farther most corner from all of us, under the window.
Suddenly there was a scream, I was awake so I saw her sit up straight at 90 degrees and then sleep again! She later reported that she felt as if someone sat on her chest and tried to gag her. Later , our lady instructor told us that the place was known to be haunted. Whenever there are deaths higher up in the mountains, they bring down the body and keep it at this forest house overnight, because of convenience before taking it down.
I didn't know exactly what was happening. I just heard someone read some text at night. For a moment I thought it was some voodoo or dark arts, someone was trying to cast a spell on me perhaps! I shook Deepa out of her sleep and told her what I felt. She hugged me tight and put me to sleep. ( Here onwards I could barely sleep without Deepa hugging me.)
There's this thing about altitude! The higher you go, your mind starts playing dirty games with you. We were told stories of people ( HMI ex students) who had died of Altitude mountain sickness, of how some people started hallucinating and acting crazy!
The next morning I realised that the text was actually Hanuman Chalisa , read by the Instructor because she herself was scared after the Kashmiri poet narrated her story!
Anyway, there were other strange things happening....like our clothes which were drenched in sweat that we had kept for drying had turned all wet the next morning like someone had poured water on them. Suspicion and doubt was lurking all around and tempers were running high!
Bakhim to Dzongri- 12,000 ft
I have never been this exhausted my whole life! This trek is a constant climb of 7 hours! I was completely and totally screwed after 4 hours of climbing. Thanks to Nikhil and Puri and some others who helped me in every possible way to push ahead. Without the help of all these people, I would never have completed the course. It took much more than just my strength or motivation or will power to get this done. I learnt a major lesson in the role that people play in our lives. Our lives are never ours alone- so true!
24 x 7 surveillance:
It is a bit irritating to know that the instructors are watching you every moment. How you behave with others, how you trek, do you take help from others, what is your temperament like! My body and my mind was under tremendous pressure, on top of that there were issues with some other participants or the lady instructor who didn't treat us well. It was difficult to understand how to behave in such an environment.
There was one particularly difficult patch, and I was taking help from someone. At that very moment, the Bengali woman passes me by and says, "Janaki, don't take help frm (xyz), sir ne dekh liya toh grade affect ho jayegi!"
I shot her a dirty look and said in konkani, "I'll shove the grade up your ass!"
From that moment on, whenever anyone spoke of the grade, we konkani's would say this dialogue and laught out loud. It calmed us down and made us feel good about ourselves. I know it wasn't the best thing to do, but come on ,we were struggling to get through every single day and all that some people could think of is the grade! Typical mentality of Indians I should say!
Arguments with Instructor:
That same Instructor I didn't get along well with asked me why I even bothered coming for this course.
Well! When I want to learn something, I go and get it and I don't let anybody interfere with my need to learn . Everyone is not born with the same abilities and all of us are not designed to be experts! Just because I am a weak student does not mean I am the least interested one. I am observing and learning, I am alive and yes I have an opinion about you too, just the way you are forming opinions about me.
No! I did not say this out loud to him that day. But I did say this to him the day we were coming down from Dzongri. I asked him for help and he refused. I was feeling extremely weak that day, perhaps if he was being positive towards me and had encouraged me I would have pushed myself ahead. But when someone mistreats you continuously, it is hard to co operate with them. That day I fainted! I realised that it was my mind refusing to co operate with him, and telling me not to listen to him.
I made a promise to myself a few years ago when someone mistreated me, that I would NEVER EVER let anyone do that to me again! Whether it is my Boss, parents or teachers- NOBODY absolutely has a right to judge me from their prism of context and treat me the way they like! I would be treated the way I like!
When I look back at that day, I know that I refused him as my instructor! I refused to be mistreated! I refused to stand up! I stood by my promise and for that I am proud of myself! He told me later that it was shameful to faint, how will others think of you? You are weak!
Why would I bother what other's think of me?
I know what I think of myself, and that single incident went down to teach him a good lesson later.
At this point, the constant struggle got to me. The question to ask was, 99% of the people at HMI are sweet , am I going to spoil my experience because of this remaining 1%?
No way!
Photo Credits:
Rohit Arora
Deepa Bhat
