After a while....

After a while you learn, the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul!
And you learn, that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security!
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises!
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman and the grief of a child!
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid flight!
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much;
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers!
And you learn that you really can endure, you really are strong, you really do have worth...
And you learn and you learn.......with every good bye you learn!

Born a woman- is it a bliss or a curse?

I always knew I was a misfit...to this social structure and sensibilities!
Somehow I am bad at differentiating between people, whether on the basis of caste and religion or even on genders!

" You are a girl, you've to take care of yourself!".... everyone told me, but I could never get the meaning right!

I am a girl... is this a boon or a curse?

All sorts of rules and limitations enter your life the moment you are born a girl!

I think a lot of times, that I should have been born a boy - for I love nights and hanging around at nights- I am a nocturnal!
I love adventure and moving around alone, all by myself!

But I love my body, my long soft hair, my soft hands and perfect bosom! I absolutely love everything that makes me a woman!

My discontent is not with my maker but my fellow beings who treat me differently only cause I am a female!

I look around at the nature and find all other females enjoying a much better freedom! Whether a female dog, cat or any other female - They are never treated differently by their species, they are never raped, never controlled!

Then why we, the superior race is treating our women like this?

Maybe it is safe to conclude, god created a bliss called "a woman" ,
Man turned her into a " curse"!


Painting at :http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/abstract-woman-norman-engel.jpg

Speech by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis

Following is the speech by Chetan Bhagat given at the orientation programme for the new batch of MBA students at Symbiosis, Pune.

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates – there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.


Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.


I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?


Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.


To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure – a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.


Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.


There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.


You must have read some quotes – Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.


One last thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said – don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.


I’ve told you three things – reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.


Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.


Disappointment’ s cousin is Frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life – friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.


Unfairness – this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.


Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is Isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.


There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.


I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying – I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You.

--------------------------
Cheers!!

Kurbaan- Some love stories have blood on them

It's a well made film! No doubt about it!

Great performances by everyone -(minus) Vivek Oberoi who doesnt stop over acting!
Great background score!
Great cinematography!
Nice Screenplay and direction by Rensil D'silva.
Good music.

Its a must watch.......I dont understand why the intimate scene is so hyped as it passes you by within seconds!

The film has been hyped too- just because of Saifeena ( we dont stop copying the west, do we? After Brangelina, we've our own version! LOL)

There's no interval point as such in this film , I would've preferred to watch it in one go,. The point at which it goes for an interval- doesnt do anything to the narrative.)

The love story, set in Delhi, isnt that great , but the music,cinematography and the background score elevates the film to a new height!

I didnt feel much pain seeing Kareena suffer, probably cause the love story was rushed....We dont get to know her character too well to sympathize with her, to like her and to really get that attached to her!

The film is seen from Kareena's perspective! The events unfold as she sees them! I would have loved to see and know more of her character as she's the one who's cheated and trapped in the film!

I liked the film, but given the storyline and the capacity it holds- I could've loved it!

New York is a film on the same lines....... and (story wise) Kurbaan is no better or worse then New York!

I dont get attached to 'goras', that's the reason I dont like these Indian films based on foreign incidents and locales!
India has enough problems and emotional drama happening that can be captured! We dont need a Danny Boyle to do that!

2 states- The story of my marriage By Chetan Bhagat

I'll try as much as possible not to make this one into a book review!

I bought this book because:

1: It's cheap! priced at just Rs. 95/- ( Mr. Bhagat- A IIMA student definately knows what sells at what price in India! Indians love all those things that are priced under Rs. 100/-. No wonder he's the best selling author in India!)

2: I've a Reader's Block these days. I dont know if any such thing exists, but I think its almost been 4 months since I read anything useful! Partly cause my life is too exciting at the moment- that I find any book or any film boring in comparison! yes! I havent watched a single movie for the past couple of months too!

So, in order to beat out of this block, something light and funny was needed- so started on this book!

3: I am a big fan of his 1st book " 5 point someone" . I like his funny style and use of language, it runs a smile through my face and I love smiling!

4: He says it's a story of his marriage- I wanted to know if everybody suffers in marriage, or is it just me?

While reading the book:

1: It's funny: Mr. Bhagat has kept up his funny style and similies! I especially love all those times he makes comments and describes his in laws, like this one " Ananya's mother looked as if she had fallen into a drum of golden paint" - she wore a Kanjeevaram sari!

2: It brought me out of the block, now I can start reading the more serious books!

After Reading:

1. Not a great book- nothing compared to 5 point someone!

2. Mr. Bhagat , enough of IIT- IIM......! No more please! It started getting on my nerves, I dont think the smartest brains make it into IIT-IIM! I think the most boring and geeky get into those institutes! Ok, let me not generalise, I know you need to work damn hard to get through, but I am of the opinion that you cant judge a person's intelligence merely with the kind of paychecks they get!Mr. Bhagat is right though, in describing his citi bank job as one of the most boring!

3. This story is about his journey till his marriage! Which is usually fun! :) So, it did not clear my doubts fully!


4. Will I buy his next book?

Yes! Yes! Yes!
A. Because I've bought and read all of them so far!
B. The 2nd was bad, 3rd was ok, the latest being better than the 4th.......but I'll always keep loving his style and
C. I am his sincere fan!

So, if you need a good laugh, or just a casual read, please go and buy this book! It's worth the price!

Can you ever love me for me?

Komal always sends me some of the best fwd's! Today she sent me this poem and I just loved it! I bet you'll love it too!

Written by by: Miriam Campo


Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that I am true and true
Can you love me with my imperfections?
Can you see me as I am and not as what you want me to be?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that makes mistakes and speaks without thinking
Can you love me even when I am unreasonable?
Can you see me as I am and not for the Angel you seek?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that cries when a stranger child is hurt
Can you love me when I am sad without me having a reason to be?
Can you see me as I am not as what I once was?

Can you ever love me for me?

Life is too short to be anything but happy

"There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it , and surround youself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good . After all, life is too short to be anything but happy! "

Crossroads

There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves at crossroads.
Afraid, confused, without a roadmap.
The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.
Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us choose to turn around and go back.
But once in a while, people push on to something better,
something found just beyond the pain of doing it alone,
and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in,
or give someone a second chance,
something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream.

Because it's only when you're tested,
that you discover who you are, that you discover who you can be.
The person you can be does exist,
beyond the hard work, faith, belief, and beyond the heartache, and…
fear of what lies ahead.

- One Tree Hill

Powerful Words

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity..
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with
negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates
will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want
you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you
to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those
that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.


Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems
with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who
never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has
a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the
bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone
who's not going anywhere.

With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful
where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the
person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with
wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you
will learn how to soar to great heights.
"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the
kind of friends he chooses."

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
closely associate - for the good and the bad.


"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends."

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit
in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing
attitude..". . ............ ...... ...

Lessons from baby camel

Shuttling between Mumbai to Goi

As I shuttle between Mumbai to Goa,
I realise that I am trying to keep a difficult balance:
between my past , my present and my future,
between what I want , what I've been, and what I should be!
between my dreams and my reality,
between true happiness and a fakade of smiles,
between social pressures and inner peace,
between love and friendship,
between trust , faith and relationships!


As I shuttle between Mumbai to Goa,
I see a sea of choices sorrounding me...
Should I walk on, Or should I wait for others to walk with me?
Should I take the path less taken or should I keep listening to what other's have told me?

As I shuttle from Mumbai to Goa,
I find my life torn into bits and pieces...
Every bit shouting out my name,
Every piece blaming me for the loss of the game!

As I shuttle from Mumbai to Goa,
I realise... someday...this journey back and forth has to stop...
I realise I cannot keep hanging in the moment,
I realise this balancing act has to drop!

As I travel from Goa to Mumbai,
This time around with no return ticket,
I've told myself, "This is it! Just do it!"
There's no point in living a life which is of other's making,
If its grief and insult you have to bear, just take in..

Life is a journey, we all are travellers,
But it makes sense only if we move forward!
Do what it takes but please keep moving,
In the start it may hurt, but time is soothing!


With dreams in my eyes and faith in my heart,
I set my foot on cold unknown paths....
Hope hopes and wishes come true soon,
Hope my decision turns out to be a boon,
May Some day many a travellers learn from me..
A Hard lesson but one that's worth remembering!

Janaki Shinkre ...

The song on my mind........

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breathe

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering
but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satellite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed...

By Eddie Vedder

Trust Me....

Mom told me never to trust anybody !

She told me its never worth trusting anybody other than your blood relations, cause they are the one's who care , they are the one's who'll always be there!

But when I fell on the hard school ground, it was another school mate I'd never met who gave me a helping hand!
When I scored terrible marks in math, it was my benchmate who put a hand on my shoulder and said," There's always a next time!"

When I came home and showed my marks, I got shoutings!
When I came home and showed I'd got hurt, I was told I have become too naughty!

Why is it that my close one's are never happy with me? I always wondered!

Whenever I did anything that made me happy- all my close one's were never happy about it!

And the saga continues.....

I wrote dialogues for a full lenth konkani film this september! All I got to hear when I came home was, " Is anybody going to know at least that you were involved in this film? who cares about your small name appearing somewhere in the credits?"

So who do I trust?
Who do I depend on?
People who encourage and support me? Who stand by me and share my happiness?
Or people who call themselves my caretakers and protectors but are never happy about anything I do???

It has to start somewhere,
It has to start sometime,
What better place than here,
What better time than NOW?


-Guerrilla Radio,
Rage Against The Machine.

The Cow

"Film Making"

One of the most fascinating fields according to me! And I am just loving the process of making one right now!

I dont know exactly when I fell in love with films, nor did I ever think this would become a lifelong passion!

There's no department I am not interested in knowing or learning about- nor any department I dont know anything about! Film making involves so much observation- and I feel everyone and anyone can make one, a film that reflects his/her thought process!

Whether its acting, costumes, direction or art or production..... give me any job and I love to put my flavour in it!

Strange, how I feel about this field! Never have I loved anything or anyone more than this!

Just one prayer to the almighty, let me do this all my life! Let me observe, create, learn and get fascinated with this field till I take my last breath!

Passing Thoughts

A bit busy these days so no time to write long, thoughtful expressions /musings of my mind....but a thought crossed my mind today.....

In life , what you purposely dont do is as important as what you do!
The same as knowing what not to say, and what to say!
Sometimes 'not doing' an act , can take you places!

Say what?

Ghusmatmaar!!

In Konkani this means "frustration" ! And that's how I feel right now! As if my own personal problems and issues are easy enough for me to solve, that a new one always faces me around the corner!

If I want , I can very well look over some of the issues that bother me so much! The issues that bother me are the issues that face everybody here, I wonder how everyone can be so calm and peaceful as if nothing has happened!

Lets take the past 3 days, 3 little pups are caught up in an old unused house, their mother has abandoned them and they scream on top of their voices for help! As every day passes by I hear the energy fading, and today I just heard some small cries- their last attempt to call for help!

Its very difficult for anybody to climb their fence and go in, besides there's too much vegetation, you can hardly see anything there- the house looks like its haunted!

Is it just me hearing their screams?
I called all the Animal rescue Organisations I know, nobody came for help!
Then I called the Fire department who conviniently said this doesnt come under their kind of work- they gave me some more animal rescue numbers, I called evrybody- half of their phones are out of order, others are not picked up and those who do pick up , say, we dont have staff or Margao is not under our jurisdiction or we are out of funds or we have no vehicle!

I've been praying now that those pups die, sooner the better!How much more should those little ones suffer? And if they are rescued, where would they go? Who would take care of them? I've rescued too many dogs already and have no takers left anymore- besides my house and my mum's house is full of pets!

I just wished I didnt love animals so much that it would hurt me like this! I wished I was deaf and dumb like the rest of the lot and my heart didnt ache everytime I heard an animal scream for help!

Creative Ganesha

This Ganesha Idol is made out of bottle caps (metal) that are used on glass soft drink bottles! Its a big idol and sits right in front of my house ( Sarvajanik ) . Every year, our local boys succeed in coming up with a new idea to make the Ganesha idol. Last year they made an idol out of coconuts, year before that out of cloth and so on.

People come here from all the corners of Goa to see this creative Ganesha Idol!

Photography Blog

Well! Let me step into a new category , a new creative zone called photography! I havent been much of a photographer ever, I always thought it was too technical, and I still feel so! But I agree that you need an eye to capture great photos.... you need to observe what others ignore! So , even though a camera is a machine, there's always an eye behind the camera which decides what should be clicked, and what is better ignored!

So, hope you'll enjoy what I click!


To start off, I chose this picture, its a caterpillar....... Actually its the one which will soon become a butterfly! I found it on our lemon tree, this little fella has eaten all of the leaves, no lemons grow on it now...... its a breeding ground for butterflies, and once in a few months I always come across this caterpillar before it flies off as a beautiful butterfly!

The Secret to a Happy Married life

This is an old joke really, nevertheless I love reading it everytime I get it as a fwd !




Once I was asked by my Friend, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and
Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

He asked, "Can you explain?"

I said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as
my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's
decisions."

Still not convinced, Friend asked me "Give me some examples"

I said," Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much
amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner,
refrigerator , monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are
decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

He asked, "Then what is your role?"

I said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether
America should attack Iran , whether Britain should lift sanction over
Zimbabwe , whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar
should retire etc etc and Do you know one thing,

my wife NEVER, NEVER, NEVER objects to Any of these".

Happy Independance Day

I couldnt help but notice, I couldnt help but appreciate this photograph and its underlying lesson- Inspite of all the differences in our religions, casts, opinions..... We Indians belong to 1 big family!

Yes! There are a whole lof of problems that are not addressed and which are making matters worse for our society...... But fighting in the name of religion.... is not a very smart thing to do!!!

Minorities or majorities........Indians 1st!

Happy Independence Day to all My Indian brothers and sisters!!!


Image taken from Today's Times of India.

You can see she's a beautiful girl....

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm!!



………..I was still in bed when I heard this sweet voice humming a tune….and some sounds of doors closing, bags opening etc. I’ve never been an early riser, this is my 2nd day In Mumbai! I am staying with 3 other girls in an apartment – I’m here for an internship of 2 months!

I try hard and open my eyes and check the clock lying near my bed, Its 7 am! I’ve to reach Churchgate by 9 sharp…..

“ Good Morning” That same sweet voice….. I look towards her….she’s one of the girl staying with us. And she’s standing there in her towel!

Well! I had heard a lot about her before I actually met her! My friend ( girl friend) was all ga-ga about how beautiful she was. I’d checked out her snaps on Orkut but didn’t find anything that special…..I definitely had come across more beautiful girls than this 1.

I just met her yesterday, and instantly knew there was this quality about her……not just her looks, but her charm, the twinkle in her deep brown eyes….that made everyone watch her longer than it should normally take.

She knew she was good looking, and she took good care of herself! I wished I knew how to be that disciplined about my looks and my body! She’s an air hostess by profession and right now she’s busy with her usual 1 hour make up routine!

I sat in my bed, watching her with amazement as she carefully drew the lines around her eyes and moved the blush on her cheeks! “ What are you looking at?” She suddenly asks.

“ Sorry! I’ve never seen anybody do make up that beautifully, so trying to pick up some tips….hope you don’t mind!”

“ Naah!” She looked at me sideways and winked…….. What was that for? I thought! Well! Anyway, might be her style…..

The next minute she suddenly dropped her towel, standing naked in front of me…… I was blank….Numb…..I am a normal girl ok? Not a lesbian or anything like that. But I haven’t ever seen any girl strip off before me, that fast!

“ Hey wait, let me go out……you could’ve asked me to!”

“ No worries…. We all have the same things….!” She chuckled as she carefully wore her stockings and her bra! She gave me those sideway glances while she did everything, I had these strange feelings, as if she’s instigating me to be naughty, to flirt with her…… The strangest part was, I couldn’t take my eyes off her! Women are truly a piece of art – and I know this after I saw her well crafted body!

Before I knew it, she was done! “Bye…Have a nice day” She again winked and left.

My friend who was sleeping next to me jumped up the moment she was out the door.

“Hey, I thought you were sleeping!”

“ I was only pretending to be sleeping. See? I told you she’s hot! Didn’t you get this strange feeling that before she left, she should’ve come and given you a good-bye kiss?”

I looked at my friend, shocked…..how did she read my mind??

The 1st day of anything is the most difficult when it comes to adjustments. I was completely alright at work, but the thoughts of the air hostess weren’t letting me breath easy. It wasn’t anything about her that worried me, it was me ! I kept asking myself, Am I a lesbian?

But I’d never felt that way about any other girl before…..I’ve a boy friend for the last 3 years and everything between us is perfectly fine….why then these strange feelings?

When I came back home, she was there in the hall- stretching and doing some exercises.
“ Hey, how was your 1st day at office?” She asks.
“ It was good.” I keep my eyes low, and avoid looking at her as much as possible.
“ Sit down, you must be tired, let me make you a cup of coffee.”

Why is this girl being so sweet to me? I just don’t understand her, she’s confusing me!

But as time passes by we all get comfortable with her attitude…..she’s a very caring girl…..a good friend, a good cook.! Its hard to find good looking girls being so sweet and having absolutely no ego about their looks and beauty. She makes good healthy food for us and gives us make up and dressing tips……wow! Having Such a friend is the dream of every girl!


And days go bye………


It’s a Early Sunday Morning….and my phone rings.
“ Hey, sweets…. I am in Mumbai!” Its my bf Om.
“ Wow! What a pleasant surprise?”

The door bell starts to ring just then. It must be the doodhwalla , I think. This job is usually done by the air hostess cause she’s the 1st one to rise….

I open the door thrusting the vessel forward and see Om standing there.


" What are you doing here? I told you this was a girl's apartment !" is the 1st thing I say looking at him.

" Is this how you greet me after so many months?"

We hug for a long time, But strangely I want to drive him out of the apartment before she wakes up...before he sets his eyes on her! If I cant resist her, uski to baat hi chodo!

"Who's at the door Diya?"

She comes out with her micro mini shorts and a noodlestrap top!

I turn to see my boyfriend's reaction 1st....he stared at her...came close to me and said, " Hey, you never told me you lived with hotties!"
" Yeah! Because I didn’t want you to drop in here again and again!"

He then went up to her, extended his hand and introduced himself!

" Ohh! Diya's BF? Tum to bohot chupi rustam nikli yaar! Tumne kabhi bataya nahi iske baare mein?" She said in her usual cheerful tone!

With her long beautiful hair, sleepy eyes....she was looking more beautiful then ever! I wanted to hide her, protect her from the prying eyes of men...from my BF!

" Aaj kal to sabka BF hota hai!Isme batanewali kya baat hai?"

" Mera to koi bf nahi hai!" She said naughtily.... “anyway, you 2 sit and chat, I'll make some tea for you, or would you like something else Ommm?"

" Anything you like!" Om is mesmerized!

" So sweet!"

"Dont give me that silly smile...I know what it is for!" I was so angry...I couldn’t control my temper!

" Hey what? Its just normal for a guy ok?"

He was right. Its normal for him...its quite abnormal for me to feel protective about her! Its abnormal for me to not hate her but hate my bf instead!

When she came out with the tea, she was wearing a proper jeans and a T-shirt....to my relief! She didn’t sit with us while we had our tea, she chose to go inside...while my bf Om spent d rest of our time together asking about her!

After an hour of arguing , Om was ready to leave... he decided to stay at a hotel nearby for the next 2 days and have breakfasts and dinners with us- for obvious reasons!

That sunday evening, My friend and the other room mate went out for shopping. The air hostess stayed home , she wasnt feeling very well. And Om was to join me in a couple of hours so I decided to stay back. This was the 1st time me and she were all alone in the apartment!

I sat in the hall , reading the Sunday Times.....She suddenly came out of her room in a chirpy mood, " Do you want to play dress up?"
" What is that?"
" We pretend like we are walking the runway and wear different clothes!"
" Isnt that meant for kids?"
" Come on na? It will be fun!" She pulled my hand and called me inside her room!

" Remove your clothes!" She orders me!
" what?"
" How else can I dress you then?"
" You dont need to dress me. I’ll dress myself!"
" Arre you are the model, I am your fashion designer, now remove!"
" Ideally, you should be the model- dont you think so?"

" Ok!" within seconds she was topless. " Now dress me!"
" You dress yourself!" I start getting a bad feeling about this...something about this girl was not right...something about her was not what she usually was!

" My god! How much nakhras you do! Remove....Remove na?" She was so adamant.... She got what she wanted.............My Shirt!

" I dont like this game...I am going..." But as I start to go out, she suddenly pulled my hand and pulled me close and pinned me against the wall....

" You like me dont you?" She was so close to me, I could feel her breath,

" What? Let me go." My head has started spinning already!

" I saw you watching me the 1st day! You are attracted to me...... then what is this shit with your bf?"

" Let me go....." She was much stronger then I'd expected her to be! And she was pushing herself against me....

Men have rubbed against me in trains and buses before....It is a horrible experience...but this was worse than that..... A woman against my body...I was so scared, I wanted to scream for help...I had no doubt that if I dont do anything in the next couple of minutes, she would surely rape me! But I couldnt say anything...the shock of it all had numbed my reactions. She probably took this as a positive sign from me and started her act!

And suddenly the door bell rang.......I was shaken out of my numbness.....I pushed her away from me, and ran to the door in the state I was in. I hurriedly opened the door, it was Om... He was shocked to see me in that half dressed state, crying, scared, nervous!

" What happened?"
I just hugged him and cried, no words came out of my mouth!

After around 10 minutes , I finally found my voice and told him what had happened. Throughout all this conversation, she did not step out of her room! After om heard what had happened, he just couldn’t control himself.

“ Wait I’ll just see what she thinks of herself.” He said and before he could open/ bang on her door, she swiftly opened the door and stood there………all dressed up, calm and composed as she always was……the room all cleaned and a big bag by her side. She handed an envelope over to Om, and without looking at me walked out the front door.

I kept looking after her……. “ Its 5000 in here!” Om said taking out the contents of the envelope.


“ There’s a note too.

Dear all,

I’ve got a very good job in Hyderabad, and I’ve to leave right away. Sorry for not staying back and saying a good bye.

Take care of yourselves,

Bye!”

Tula Mi , Mala Mi....

Today was the concluding day of the "Kala Rang" festival which is held in Margao every year. The organisers always succeed in getting the best talent from across India to Goa, and I'm thankful and glad for all the work they do!

This year saw performances by Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia, a beautiful Bharatnatyam performance by my guru- Lalan desai and Alka Lajmi, The play White Lily and Night Rider and Rima Lagoo's "Tula Mi , Mala Mi".


Today's play again was a masterpiece! Here are the synopsis:

Madhavi Rajadhyaksha, a college professor teaching English Literature, occasionally pens short stories in Marathi. One fine day she releases a book penned in English. The book gains international recognition. It becomes a bestseller. Madhavi receives such significant remuneration that she resigns from her job. This invites accusations that Madhavi has written the book in English with the sole intention of acquiring maximum royalty. She is also accused of exploiting her sister’s illness and her own husband's marital problems in order to increase the book sales. A Marathi movie based on Madhavi's book is produced. A leading television channel invites her to speak. What will happen when Madhavi begins to confront the accusations leveled against her?

Details of the play:

TULA MI MALA MI is the Marathi adaptation of eminent playwright Girish Karnad's original Kannad play. The play has already been produced in Hindi (BIKHRE BIMB) and in English (BROKEN IMAGES). The Marathi version has been produced by O Rima Creations and has already seven shows to its credit. The Marathi adaptation, direction and music have been done by Vivek Lagoo with technical assistance from Samir Lamaye and special contribution from Shekhar Dhavlikar.

My views:

There's just 1 person on stage with her 2 images- 1 her real self and the other that we see on a TV screen on the stage! The whole play is about Madhavi, the writer talking to herself who appears on the TV screen.

As the play unfolds we come to know about Madhavi's real story! The interview that she gives to the TV channel shows her to be a happily married writer, who writes a book based on her paralysed sister.


There are several accusations levelled against her - about a marathi writer, coming out with a book in English which goes on to become a best seller., about writing about sexuality etc. But this is just the tip of the ice berg.

As the story unfolds we realise that Madhavi actually never wrote the book! We realise that the book was originally written by her ailing sister Mukta , who is much more intelligent and beautiful but Paralysed. in the final 6 years of her life, Mukta stays in Madhavi's home. Madhavi's husband Pramod and Mukta are deeply involved and the entire book is actually a true story written with explicit details in dialogues and their complex triangle of relationships!

Reema Lagoo, no doubt has done an excellent job! It is not easy to time the performance according to the pre recorded herself talking to her from the TV.

Rating: A must watch, A different kind of play!
Hats off to Mr.Girish Karnad for writing such a beautiful script!

Death at a Funeral Vs Daddy Cool

"Death at a Funeral" is an excellent British comedy film released in 2007! Its a must watch, You'll love it!


Bollywood is coming up with its own re-make called "Daddy cool". Looking at the posters it looks like the makers have copied it frame to frame!

Why then do they give the credit to Tushar hiranandani for script and screenplay? All the credit should go the writer of the original film- one Mr.Dean Craig.






I dont know if these guys have borrowed the copyrights, but if not....then someone needs to bring this to the notice of the original film makers and our Indian brothers should be sued for such shameless acts of stealing other's scripts!



P.S : They dont even spare the costumes! copied that too! And as for sophie's dress is concerned, in my 24 years of experience of being a Goan, I havent seen any lady wear bright red for a catholic funeral! This was The only place our guys went to experiment , they've messed it royally!

White Lily and The Night Rider

I am very fond of theatre. The unfortunate part is ,I've hardly seen any good dramas now a days! Comedy ki to baat hi chodo! There are so many "so called comedy" marathi plays , but when you are watching them, you wonder whether you are supposed to laugh at all? They are that pathetic! With the actors making weird faces, and body postures that are best described as vulgar! What happened to genuine comedy? genuine theatre?

Yesterday I came across a genuine piece of art' The play named " White Lily and The Night Rider".

There are only 2 main artists- RASIKA JOSHI, and MILIND PHATAK .


Synopsis:


“White Lily & Night Rider” is the contemporary play - a black comedy - of a man & a woman in their 40’s. They are very close Chat Friends involved even in erotic chat. At one point of time they desperately want to meet each other to transform that virtual reality in to reality and may take the decision of marriage.

But when they meet person to person the showdown begins. Any known system of man – woman relationship is unacceptable to them. Neither can they accept the “Sanskars” of the previous generation, nor can they adjust to the thinking of the new generation! For them marriage as an institution is outdated and live in relationship is unthinkable!!


The play raises innumerable questions and confusions about the fundamentals of the relationship & companionship. Does this confusion end with self realization? Are they afraid of reality? Is the virtual reality more comfortable??



My Views on the play:

It is a must watch! The play endes with both the parties deciding that their relationship is at the best in the virtual world! The play is very much realistic. It brings to light how our society treats a 36 year old unmarried girl! How unsafe the world has become to women- you cannot trust anybody, and trusting an internet pal? That's the most dangerous thing to do!

It also shows in a way that there are no guarantees in life- marriage is a gamble and no matter how many precautions you take- something always happens, which you didnt expect it to happen. People who keep checking for a companion's compatibility with each other- whether sexual, mental etc. are missing the whole point.......the fun part of marriage is to get to know another person, where is the fun if you are looking out for your duplicate? As the age factor starts rising, you become less and less willing to change and to accept people as they are.

Every person can relate to this play differently and it succeeds in touching the soul of every generation!

This play is intellectual,funny and different- it is a mixture rare to find, so if it is being performed in your city, dont miss it!

You can contact the makers of this play on :http://whitelilyandnightrider.blogspot.com

Chasing Dreams

Everybody told me.....they said they spoke out of their experience.....Its never worth chasing your dreams.... Cause they dont come real!

I listened to everybody and to all their experiences, their failures, their weaknesses.......

And yet I decided to chase my dreams!

There's a strange quality in dreams..... They are like shadows! The harder you chase them, the harder they run away from you!

The moment I stop and turn myself away from my dreams, they seem to follow me!

My dream is my shadow- It never leaves me- Whether I chase it or not!

The only puzzle now is-

Will I ever be able to catch my shadow?

Lai's Story

I read Kiran's post on his friend Lai who is a brave cancer patient fighting the disease! I felt we need to spread the word about his fight, about his courage....!

Please visit his blog -


"laichinlun - A story of a Cancer fighter

I m 32 yrs old, have a good bright career. At my career most high time, I was diagnosed with nose cancer called NSP, advanced stage with 50% survival percentage.
I m writing this blog to motivate other CANCER patient like me. Cancer is a new begining, not an ending. Continue to read my story....

Feel free to add me to your facebook(lai_1977@yahoo.com). If you know anybody who think they lost hope, recommend them to my blog.
I m a proud cancer patient"


http://laichinlun2.blogspot.com

I am the most beautiful

I wake up one morning, happy and excited....I've seen a beautiful dream.....a dream of a princess.....I hope to see a miracle .....I rush to my mirror........and stare......I stare at a girl I don’t like to look at, she's always the one looking back at me, she's always the one disappointing me! Always the one I've to call me!

I lousily pack my bag, stuffing it with the school books!

My thoughts are tormenting me with thoughts......thoughts that had never touched me before, ideas that never occurred to me before.....


I am the best student in the school. The head girl, the captain of my house, the 1st ranker and the winner of various extra curricular activities!

I am the best dancer, the best orator, the best sportsman!


Then why today I feel like a total loser? .......I look around me and for the 1st time observe the other school girls.....Tina- whom I know as the math failure has been crowned a beauty queen on one TV show! Smitha, the frail looking, delicate darling is the queen of hearts of my school! My own close pal
Divya got a love letter last week..... and me? Not a single boy looks at me! They dont whistle , nor do they turn around to see me......its as if nobody cares about my intelligence, about what I do, about all my talent, all that the world sees is the external beauty!

I am a big haired, plum girl~ A thick pair of glasses decorates half my face! And my extra long clothes make me look double my size!

I want to scar my face, so that my parents will have to get a plastic surgery done on me- and I'll get a new face like Rekha from " Khoon Bhari Maang!"

Mom keeps saying, " Beta 15 is too young to go to those beauty parlors. Mahendra tell her na, those beauty treatments will spoil your face darling!"

My dad looks up from his newspaper... and smiles, " My princess! Who puts these ideas in your head, huh?"

" Everybody at school does it ma! They call me a bhalu cause I've hairy hands and bushy eyebrows! And my hair is like a bird's nest! I want to straighten it permanently. Everybody's moms let them do it....All of them go to the beauty parlors themselves and ask the saloon lady to do the treatments on their daughters, why cant you just be like the other moms? My send off is next week dad! I dont want to go there with this face!"

My dad now seriously looks at me after the hurried and emotional speech I delivered! A tiny tear rolls down my cheek...

" Okay... you... "

" Wait a min!" before my dad can complete, my mom brings up the objection....I seriously feel like banging my mom's head with a frying pan lying around me!

" We'll talk about it tonight, ok? You go to school now!"

I greet my teeth! Something inside me tells me that my wish will never be granted! But for the moment there is nothing I could do, so I choose to wait till the night!

After school, I attend my tuitions and my dance class. I haven’t been able to concentrate in anything today. Once again, I am expecting a miracle tonight! Throughout my tuitions I dreamt that my mother will be standing with a hair straightener to greet me when I get home, and my dad will be holding a big box of make up! Though I dont know where and how all that color fits one's face, but I want that Palette!

I enter my house, and over hear my mum speaking to someone on the phone.....Yes! The saloon Lady will be coming any moment!....I think to myself! As I got a little closer I hear the words clearly, “yes Mrs. Bhatia.... Please do so... You know this is causing a lot of tension for responsible parents like us. And its their 10th std, so I dont think they should get distracted because of such flimsy things! Alright Mrs. Bhatia... Thank you! Bye!"

" Why were you talking to my Principal? What did you tell her?"

" Nothing! You just chillax now, everything will be fine! Ok darling? come, I'll make something for you- What would you like today?"

" A hair straightener!" words naturally leave my mouth! She turns, Smiles and goes on with her chores as if I'd said nothing.



A big Notice on the wall greets every student the next day at school.

" Parents -teachers meeting will be held tomorrow at 5 pm, everybody's parents are expected to attend the meeting. - Only for class 10th student’s parent's- "

The next day a huge lecture is given by our Principal and some psychologist to all the parents not to encourage children of such young ages into beauty parlors. The underlining statement was - please do not follow the west blindly! Have mind over matter! Simple living high thinking!

My mother tells me a day before my send off " Now everybody will come just the way they look. Dont worry, you wont be the odd man out!"

wow! I think, Now I'll really know who's the hairiest! Who's got the most tangled unmanageable hair! That should be a lot of fun!

The day of the sendoff.

Mom drapes me in her beautiful saree, ....I go to school with high dreams, expecting to see some ahhh's and uhhh's!

My jaw is drops open at the front door itself..........Tina is wearing the most beautiful ghaghra I've ever seen in my entire life. her hair is made up in a beautiful hairstyle, her face is glittering and her lips shining with so much color...they look so inviting!

Smitha is also looking smashing, I see a lot of my class boys starring at her.. some even gave her a rose!!

Divya runs up to me..... she's clean and clear too, like everybody else! Perfect hands, perfect hair, perfect face! She's talking something to me, but I just cant hear it.....My mum betrayed me, she fooled me into believing her! She wants me to look ugly! My heart is beating so fast, i can hardly breath!

I push her away and flee that horrible school.... I walk as fast as I can in that saree, Divya for a while follows me calling my name- " what happened? wait , stop!"

" Dont follow me, get lost!"

After a while I dont hear any steps behind me. I rush straight to the bus stop, and climb into 1 of the buses!

I dont know where the bus is going......but I want to be in it. Lost in a crowd who dont know me, who dont recognize me! I lay my head on the window, the tears still coming, the thoughts still messing my head!~ I close my eyes......and I see her again, just like I see her every other night in my dreams.....She's the princess..... she's what I want to be.......


Image at victoriaantoinette.com/

The Super Mommies!!

Now a days more and more women choose to work while their tiny tots are under the care, protection and guidance of a maid!

How good is this practice ? Should it be encouraged or discouraged? Is the life of a woman so short that she can’t spare a couple of months for her child? Career- money- jobs…. Is it more important then your child?

All the education, experience and sense that we earn through our intelligence- is it for our employer/company or for our next generation?

But I tend to have mixed feelings on this issue.

I saw a news report on a news channel wherein a mother of a 15 day old baby girl went to work. Now that her kids are all grown up, she says she had made the right decision since kids don’t require their mothers when they are small as much as guidance they require when they start going to school and reach higher standards!

I feel the mothers should stay home with their babies or work from home for at least 6 months when the child is breastfed. They also need to pay close attention to their health and in those 6 months should exercise and concentrate on being physically fit.

What I don’t understand right now is how can you concentrate in work when your child is at home? At least if you have your in laws or parents to help out, it’s a different situation, but how sane is it to keep a child with a maid?

{The problem with Indian laws is that it gives only 3 months paid leave to a mother.}

Some believe, Issues like imparting values and manners come later, when a child reaches the age of 3 or something like that- that is the time when the parents have to take the responsibility for their wards. Before that the child doesn’t need the mother much.

Another trend I’ve seen now a days is most women prefer a c-section even when their doctors advice a normal delivery, just because they are scared to go through the pain! I fail to understand where all this education goes? A normal delivery is anytime better for a woman’s health. Only if there are complications, the doctor advises one to go for a c-section.

But Overall , from my observation what is important is bringing up a child!
And that is not dependant on whether you are working or a stay at home mom. I’ve seen a lot of my friends, who are very well brought up, and amazing human beings had all their mothers working when they were young. Of course a few examples here and there exist of out of hand brats! But that goes to children brought up by stay at home moms too. If you stay at home but don’t give the right values then what is the whole point? You rather go and work!

Well! Motherhood is a difficult thing! And I really don’t know if I should’ve commented on it! But I feel strongly about this issue, so thought of sharing it. I would like to know your point of view about this issue.